smallhobbit

She had clearly caught me at an unguarded moment, because instead of instantly departing to almost anywhere else, I said, “Isn’t what wonderful?”

“The moonlight, of course.  Just the perfect thing for lovers to walk in.”

“Yes, well, I’m sure Gussie will be delighted to accompany you,” I said hastily.

“Oh, dear Gussie’s gone to hunt newts.  He says that moonlight is perfect for finding them.  Isn’t that just charming, the little newts like to meet up with their little newt lovers on a night like this.”

I feared I was getting an idea of where this conversation was going.

“So I thought, while Gussie is busy playing Cupid to the newts, you could join me in a moonlight walk.  We might even all three be able to carry the lovestruck newts back together.”

It was time for some rapid Wooster thought.  I could think of several reasons why I wouldn’t want to accompany Madeline on her walk, not least having to listen to her extol the beauties around her, and I was sure it wouldn’t be long before she was talking about God’s daisy chains again.  There was only one thing to do; I threw back my head and began to howl.

“Oh, Bertie, you are silly,” Madeline trilled.

“No, I’m not,” I replied.  “I’m a werewolf.  You know that the full moon brings them out.”

She ran off, laughing, and singing ‘Bertie’s a werewolf’.

Which might have been all right, had not Spode happened to hear her. 

“Is he indeed?” he said.  “There’s only one thing to do with wolves of any sort, and that’s to shoot them.”  And with that he let off a blast of his shotgun.

At which point I did what any sensible person would do and hightailed it off to find Jeeves.