Title: The Hidden Masks
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: No Warnings Apply
Fandom: Criminal Minds
Relationships: Aaron Hotchner/Spencer Reid
Tags: Fluff, Getting Together
Summary: Everyone had hidden masks, and Spencer just wanted to see the ones that Hotch hid.
Word Count: 4,958
Beta: Grammarly



Aaron Hotchner wore many masks, and most of them were very public facing. He kept his family apart, so that side of him wasn't that visible. Spencer wanted to see the more hidden masks, but that was out of an urge to know Hotch better.

"Earth to Reid," Morgan said as he came over and bumped Spencer in the side.

"Sorry. I got a little distracted there."

"You did. We were told to clear out five minutes ago. You've been standing there for ten. We left you since you were packed up, but let's get out of here and get some beers."

"Not tonight. I have a meeting already." Spencer didn't, but he wasn't in the mood to hang out with the team at a bar. He loved them, and while he had missed a meeting due to being on the case, he had found one, and Hotch had given him time to go to it in the city they were in. Hotch took good care of him when it came to meetings and made sure he was taking care of himself when it came to his addiction.

"Oh, right. That..." Morgan nodded and looked like he was about to say something else when he stopped. "Rain check on the beers."

"Thanks," Spencer said. He didn't want to go into it, and he didn't want to have to tell Morgan he was fine alone. There was something about doing it alone that made it better, but if he needed help, more help, he had people he went to. Hotch was one of them, and then there was John. Everything was better when he leaned on those he trusted.

Spencer moved back to his desk. He had a little time. He had taken the train in today. He wouldn't make it for the train about to leave, so he would have to wait.

"Want a ride?" Hotch asked as he came out of his office.

Spencer hadn't even gotten his book open. He looked at Hotch to see the man was already packed up and ready to go. Spencer had to have been not paying attention for longer than he thought if he had missed Hotch packing up.

"I can wait for the train." Spencer started to look for a book he had been reading that morning before doing a consult with a team in Alaska over a few things. It wasn't enough for them to head there, but they needed help.

"You could, but you could also be headed home now instead of later. Let's go. I heard you tell Morgan that you had a meeting. I can drop you off."

Spencer wasn't going to fight that. He knew Hotch's tone of voice. It wasn't a suggestion, even though the tone made it seem like it might be. No, Hotch was making sure that Spencer knew he was going with him no matter what. Things had changed for Spencer and Hotch after the death of Haley Hotchner. It had started with Jack kind of latching onto him, with Spencer watching him during the whole interview process Hotch went through.

"No work."

"Nope, I packed none. It's a long weekend, and we are not on call. I don't want to think about this place until I have to."

Hotch laughed and held out the book Spencer had been looking for.

"I had it," Hotch said.

"Ah, I thought you took the one on poison."

"No, I read that last week."

Spencer nodded as he slipped his book into his messenger bag. He stood up and made sure his desk was cleaned of things he didn't like people touching before he followed Hotch to the elevator. It should feel weird leaving with Hotch on a Friday night.

"Is Jack looking forward to a long weekend?" Spencer asked after he got his belt fastened. He left his bag in the back seat because he never needed to read a book to keep himself entertained when he was riding with Hotch.

"He is. He's got plans, and they involve a lot of running around. I still have your one go-bag in the apartment from when I brought you home, and you were sick, and we both forgot it. I cleaned everything inside. Is that enough for the weekend?"

"Are you kidnapping me?"

"I would hate to come home without you since Jack has plans for you."

"He wants to go to the museum after soccer tomorrow morning, doesn't he?"

"Yes."

Spencer laughed. The last team dinner with the kids involved a lot of Jack talking to Spencer about places he loved to visit.

"Jessica had to buy everything to make biscuits, gravy, and hash browns yesterday as well to entice you to stay the night tonight."

"And Sunday?"

"Fancy oatmeal. He wants to help with that one, so I have a few of the bras you like to eat so you can make sure you don't starve while we wait for him to wake up."

Spencer nodded. His words were lost at the moment, and he wasn't sure what kind of emotions he should have for this. He wasn't sure what he felt at all for anything. It seemed like it was more than the friendship he had with everyone else at work and was an antithesis of what he felt. This was more than Hotch allowed anyone into his life, even Rossi. Jessica was the only one that was allowed this side beyond Jack, yet here he was, inviting Spencer to spend the weekend.

---

Aaron heard Spencer getting out of the guest room bed and heading down the hall, trying not to wake up Aaron or Jack. It was cute that he tried to do that, but even just having Spencer staying the night in another room made Aaron hyper-aware of everything. This was as much a trial run for having Spencer around more than it was for Aaron being able to have someone else in his space.

It was a work in progress when it came to trusting people around him after Foyet. Dating wasn't something Aaron thought about often. There were times he saw someone who was cute or hot, and he thought about picking them up but letting a stranger see his scars wasn't something he was ready for.

Taking a few seconds, Aaron decided it was time to get up. He checked on Jack and found him asleep in his bed, so Aaron shut the door so the talking wouldn't wake him up.

Spencer was in the living room, ensconced in the chair in the corner that Aarno had bought for him to be able to read in. It hadn't been until the last time Aaron had everyone over at his place for a meal that he realized it. He had put Spencer's bag in the chair and hadn't allowed anyone else to sit there.

Dave had caught on to it and had just smiled, and it had been a reason that he thought Dave backed off on Aaron getting back out there and dating. It had been over two years since everything with Foyet and Haley, there was no reason to hold on, but Aaron had been unable to.

Spencer kind of snuck up on his, and it had been going on for longer than he would care to admit to himself, much less anyone else. He wasn't sure when he was going to get the nerve to ask Spencer on a date, but these couple of weekends he had planned for the three of them to get used to each other were a good way.

Jack had told Aaron he was ready for SAaron to date again; the therapy Aaron had him in had helped, something Spencer had worked out that Jack needed. Aaron had understood that long before, but he hadn't been sure what he wanted to have happen when it came to it. He wasn't sure where to start, but Spencer had found a therapist that was perfect. A woman but someone who looked nothing like Haley and acted nothing like her. The female aspect was the one that Aaron thought Jack needed more than anything else.

"Did I wake you?" Spencer asked.

"I'm not used to people here beyond Jessica, so I was never going to get good sleep, but you did, and it's okay. I thought I might put on one of the soccer games that I recorded for Jack and just doze on the couch. Would that bother you?"

"No. Go ahead. I'm not having a good sleep in a strange place either, which is weird given work."

"There is a difference between being in a hotel and someone else's house. So I get it, I promise. Did you want something to drink?"

"I should probably not drink coffee and try and sleep in a little while, but what else do you have?"

"I have a few of the options of tea that I have given you over the years on the jet."

"Hmm, that one fruit but chamomile tea."

"Of course, that sounds good to me as well."

Aaron took his time as he worked on getting the water into the electric kettle. With Jack getting interested in helping in the kitchen, the electric kettle was easier for him to fill and to pour.

There was a lot that Jack liked to learn in the kitchen, and unlike Aaron, who had been taught by Haley how to do things, Aaron was all for Jack knowing how to take care of himself. There was nothing Aaron was learning to hate than some of the toxic things that his mother taught him. Haley had opened his eyes in a lot of ways. It hadn't been hard to take her instruction on that.

It had been Haley;'s choice to not work after they had started to try for a family. The conception of Jack had taken time, and the stress of even a normal job had been enough that Haley was afraid it was why she hadn't been able to get pregnant.

The click of the kettle turning itself off had Aaron snagging the cups and getting the tea bags out of the cabinet. He had been too lost in his thoughts.

It wasn't like him to do that, so he just tried to settle his mind to make sure that he was what Spencer needed when he was in the living room. Spencer knew when Aaron was thinking o Haley.

Aaron thought about the masks that even Spencer used to keep the world at bay. It had started with JJ getting inside of the shell; that date that had gone so wrong between them had proven that what was a friendship wasn't anything more. Aaron had been rooting for them. He thought that JJ was the kind of person Spencer had needed back then.

Now JJ would not be anything close to what Spencer needed. Aaron wasn't even sure he was what Spencer needed, but he was selfish enough to not care. If he ever felt he was hurting Spencer, he hoped he had the will to step back.

"Thanks," Spencer said when he was handed the cup of tea. He closed the book with a sigh and relaxed back into the chair, his hands wrapped around the mug like it was the only thing keeping him warm.

"Is it warm enough?"

"I'm getting there. I forgot you keep your place a little cooler than mine, and I think it's what woke me up. I changed into warmer things and put socks on. The tea will help."

"You are allowed to make yourself some even if I'm not awake."

Spencer nodded, but Aaron knew he wasn't going to. There were a lot of things in Spencer's past with how he was raised that made him unwilling to do certain things. Aaron hoped that maybe that would change if he started to stay over more.

"Anything else keeping you awake?"

"No, nothing lingering from the case. Going to the meeting, even if John wasn't there, was good. I might have to start to look up that kind of thing when we go on certain cases. Or every case."

"Might be a good idea. I can even work on it if you feel like you don't want to think about it unless you need it."

"That's not your job."

"My job is to make sure my team has what it needs to operate in the field to the best of their ability, even if that means forcing one of them to sleep or finding NA meetings in strange cities."

Spencer blushed a little, the light from the city the only reason Aaron knew it. The light from that window was enough to read by; even on nights, there was no moon.

Aaron let the silence fill the room as he thought about the mask that was only dropped in times like this, late at night in hotel rooms where Spencer allowed Aaron to see the scared child inside of him who was afraid that he would lose everything. Aaron was more than willing to talk about how much his father's death messed him up in the worst ways and how he wasn't sure that Sean would ever forgive him for how things were very different between the two of them being raised.

Sean had a good life, while Aaron was the child that could never do enough to be a good son. Sean didn't have the defect that Aarno had started out with.

"That's your Sean face. You were wearing your Haley one when you came back in with the tea. I guess I don't need to know where your mind is." Spencer carefully stood up, letting the book fall to the chair, and sat beside Aaron. "Just like I can't control my mother and her life, you can't with Sean. Things are going to be like they are until Season grows up, and I get that we are the same age, but...even most people my age aren't like that. He was coddled too much, and he'll learn. It might not be the best way, but he will learn."

Aaron knew that Spencer was right.

"How can you read me so well?"

"I'd say it's my job, but I had to learn how to care for myself too young. I think it's why you and Gideon lured me into this job."

Aaron wasn't sure how to say anything to that. He had always assumed that the lecture Spencer had attended at college had pulled him in, but he had never asked. He barely remembered Spencer at it, which was for the best. It might only be a few years difference, but there were a lot of years and education between those years. It made Aaron feel less like he was a creep for wanting someone who was young as Spencer.

---

Spencer wasn't sure what was waking him up until he felt the little nail scratch at his face again. He groaned and wondered why Jack was in the room. The room was blurry, but Spencer was on his front, a position he rarely slept in. Then he got his eyes to focus at the same time as the rest of his brain kicked in for him to realize that his pillow wasn't nearly as soft as it should be and it was moving.

"You weren't in your bed, and Dad wasn't either. You fell asleep on him."

"I see. Well, is he awake?"

Jack nodded his head, and his eyes darted up before he grinned. "You are both sillies."

Jack took off for the kitchen. "I'm hungry. Juice."

Spencer wasn't sure what to do. There was going to be no way off Hotch without it being awkward. Spencer didn't even remember falling asleep, much less the point where he had tipped over to sleep on Hotch. They had been talking, and Spencer had been getting tired, but beyond that, he wasn't sure what was going on.

Hotch shifted a little, and then Spencer realized that what he thought was a pillow or something was Hotch's arm around his back. It was keeping him where it was but was under the blanket. It was the most intimate that Spencer had ever been with someone. He had sex with people and figured out that sex wasn't good unless there was something else there but all of a sudden, there was this feeling for his boss, and he wasn't sure what the hell was wrong with his head.

Spencer tried to get up and was held where he was.

"I can feel your heart rate as it just shot up. It's fine, Spencer."

"It's fine because you don't understand what is going through my head right now."

"Not to put a fine point on it, Spencer, but I can feel just fine when you are probably thinking about it. If you calmed down, you would feel the same from me."

Spencer didn't want to be thinking about feeling Hotch's erection pressed into him. They had been asleep wasn't something they could help.

"This is a little faster than I thought we would be doing this, but our late-night talk has turned a little more intimate than I thought it might."

"As if sleeping on top of each other with erections could be anything but," Spencer said and regretted the tone as soon as it slipped out, but all Hotch did was laugh.

Hotch pressed his lips to the top of Spencer's head before he let go, letting Spencer get up. Spencer half felt like running, but he knew he couldn't do that to Jack or Hotch. He had no clue what to do, so he slipped over to the chair, picked up the book, and hid himself away in it. Hotch walked over to him, but instead of taking the book, he just kissed the top of Spencer's head before he headed to the kitchen.

Jack came back into the living room moments later with a cup of juice in each hand.

"Dad said he would have coffee in a few minutes, but you needed to drink this first."

Spencer took the juice, and he felt a little ache of something good at the feeling of happiness at the fact that it was pulpless even though Aaron and Jack like the kind with pulp. Spencer wondered what that even meant. He had no idea what was going on. He felt like he was adrift in a sea and had no life raft.

"Are you and Dad dating?" Jack asked.

"Spencer choked on the juice in his mouth before he looked at Jack.

He had no clue how to answer that. He didn't think that he and Hotch were, but if Jack asked, did he think so? Did everyone else they work with?

"That's the same look Aunt Jessica had when I asked about what a cervix is."

Spencer closed his eyes, glad that he had not been the one to get that question. He would have gone into so much science about it. Jack would have probably been even more confused, but Spencer also wondered how Jack had heard about a cervix. He really hoped it wasn't something someone on the team had mentioned.

"I think you need to ask your father."

Jack huffed, sat back on the couch, and stared at Spencer.

"I think you don't want to answer. I'm not a little baby."

"I-" Spencer swallowed because this was why he and most kids didn't get along a lot. He wasn't sure what the answer needed to be to the question. "I don't know the answer."

"You don't know the answer?" Jack looked toward the kitchen. "Maybe I should ask Dad." He jumped up before Spencer could tell him no.

Spencer wondered if he could make a run for it now. He didn't think he would make it as Hotch would see him near the door, and he would need to put on his shoes and find his messenger bag. Spencer looked toward the door to see that his bag wasn't hanging up where it normally was. He frowned at Hotch's tactic to keep him there. If he wanted to leave, Hotch wouldn't actually stop him. Hotch would call him a ride and make sure he got where he needed to be.

Yet, Spencer didn't want to leave. He wanted to be out of the situation he was currently in, but he didn't want to leave as well. It was horrible, and Spencer knew they needed to talk.

"Do you love my Dad?" Jack asked when he came back into the room.

Spencer really hoped that Hotch hadn't asked his son to ask that. It was very much nothing like what Hotch was like.

"Why?"

"Because if you love him, you need to tell him."

Spencer really wanted to just fall into a hole. He wanted the earth to open up just right where he was and suck him down. Of course, that was when Hotch came back into the room. Spencer looked up at him and frowned.

"Jack, please."

"But, Dad!"

"I'm sorry, Spencer."

"It's fine. I just...I don't like being wrong-footed, and I have no answer for Jack, and you are...you kissed me."

"Jack, I'm going to work on breakfast; why don't you play in your room for a little while?"

Jack rolled his eyes, but he got up and left.

Hotch beckoned Spencer to follow him before he went to the kitchen. Spencer followed, taking the juice glasses as well as the two tea mugs from the night before with him. He put those into the dishwasher before he walked over to where Aaron was making the gravy. There was a pan with hash browns on the back of the stove, and then the biscuits were already in the oven.

"You make the gravy from scratch?"

"Haley taught me. She learned it from someone in college. I am not sure how she got used to cooking it on a real stove and not a hot plate. It was good the first time she made it for me in the house after we moved in together while I was working for the DA's office. I wasn't too keen on it. I never thought anyone would be able to make it better than the cook my mother hired when I was younger. She did. It was one of the first major things she taught me to cook."

"I've never had homemade, even like homemade from a packet gravy for this. I've only eaten it in restaurants when we are on cases. I look forward to this. You kissed me."

"I kissed your head twice, through your hair."

Spencer glared at Hotch, and Hotch just grinned back at him.

"You and I woke up cuddled on the couch, and while you might not have been all that into going further with Jack right there, you didn't freak out and run. I know you have more experience in the sexual area than most think. I know you have more experience because while college might be where a lot of get it, you were a little young at first, but I'm sure you grew into it."

"I had a fun time once I realized how much it was not meant to be anything; then it just started to be a little too much. I realized that I don't like sex with no emotions. I didn't..." Spencer had no clue what to say.

"Jessica thought we were already dating, just doing it in a weird way. I realized that I didn't know what was going on with us. Then not too long before."

Spencer grabbed a mug and filled it up with coffee. He filled another for Hotch and set it beside him at the stove before going to fix up his cup of coffee the way he wanted it. He thought about how much he liked being around Hotch outside of work and how when they had to share in hotels, he preferred to do it with Hotch.

"I see that I shouldn't feel as bad off about all of this. I at least figured it out before you. Jack is going to think we are dating. I figure that Jessica put him up to it. Or does he just like you and wants you around more?"

"Why does he like me that much?" Spencer asked.

"You treat him like an adult, but not in a bad way. You don't talk down to him. You only tell him things in small terms if he doesn't understand what you are saying the first time. Of course, he's also just happy to be around you after everything that came in the aftermath of Haley's death. I think you were a solace for him. So he wants those two solaces together."

"I have a question."

"Just one?" Hotch turned his head to look at Spencer with a smile on his face.

"I have many more than one, but this is just the first I have. How did Jack hear the word cervix?"

"Jessica was talking to me about the result of a few tests she had done. Cervix came up, and it's the only reason I can think of. Jack asked Jessica about it two days later."

"I wasn't sure what to make of him talking about that in there. He said that I looked like Jessica when he asked her that. I figured that my face did look like that. I wasn't sure how to answer him. I'm not sure how to answer you and what you are asking me either."

Hotch turned the fire up under the hash browns before he started to stir the gravy more.

"I don't need an answer right now. We don't have to move any faster than we have been."

Spencer thought that if they were already considered to be dating, they were moving slowly enough already. The thought of staying like they were was calming for Spencer. He wanted to see where this went. Hotch had to have something planned for work and how to take care of it. There was not a lot of worry about the job for Spencer. He wasn't going to lose anything if this didn't work. Hotch wasn't that kind of man.

"Thinking deep thoughts?" Hotch asked as he turned the fire under the gravy off. He started to pay more attention to the hash browns that were finally starting to get crispy.

"Thinking things through to the end of what it could mean. I'm not opposed to it all; I just need time."

"You always need time, and I'm more than willing to give it. I hope you'll talk to me about anything that has you worried, but know that Dave will also talk you through things. He would like to see me happy, and if that's with you, he'll adjust. He's more interested in just getting me dating again to try and pair me up with someone who would be perfect right out of the box. I've always been stubborn when it comes to what I want."

"But you would never push for something that I didn't want. I must have given you clues of some kind."

"I don't know if I would call it clues or just that you didn't seem to mind some of the things I was doing. It was actually one of the officers in El Paso three months ago that made me think that you might be open to more, but the few times I've asked for a date, you've made it seem like you want it, but other things were going on."

"Those were dates?" Spencer swallowed. He hadn't even thought about that.

Hotch just smiled as he flipped the hash browns. He picked up the pan with the gravy and carried it over to a bowl to pour it into there. Spencer finished off his coffee before getting more. He felt Hotch move behind him and waited to see what would happen. When Hotch was done doing what he was doing, he pressed to Spencer's back, wrapping his arms around him.

"Is this okay?"

Spencer hummed because it did feel good. He tipped his head back a little and found that he was a little speechless. It was impossible to feel love just being held like that, but he swore he did. It made him feel like he needed to actively seek something instead of just staying like he was. he felt safe enough to sleep on Hotch. He had gotten an erection. There was a lot about the whole thing that made him think that there was something else there, but he needed to think about it.

"It is very much okay. I need time. I want to think and have the chance to just figure out my mind, but I am not leaving. Just a few minutes here and there over the day. Is that okay?"

"Of course. Go ahead and find Jack and bring him in. The food should be done by the time you get back. Then we can get dressed and head out for the day."

Spencer nodded, but he didn't move. Hotch didn't move, either. Spencer wanted to keep on feeling safe, and he should have realized a long time ago that it was only Hotch that made him feel that way.

Despite wanting time, Spencer knew his answer, and he had a feeling that Hotch knew that as well. Time to wrap his head around it was all that Spencer needed. Time to find his own hidden masks and strip them away for Hotch.

The End