Title: In training
Author: m_findlow
Rating: PG
Length: 2,541 words
Content notes: None
Author notes: Written for Challenge 407 - Train
Summary: Ianto is being given the full new employee rundown.
Captain’s Log - Tuesday 14th March, 2006
Today’s headline reads “Captain adopts puppy.” Or at least that's what the others will probably say. You'd think by now I'd be used to them thinking I'm totally crazy. Maybe I am. What the hell are we doing recruiting someone from Torchwood One? Not to mention a damn pterodactyl. Guard dog? Yep, definitely crazy.
Perhaps I should have called it a security measure. After all, there are only about three dozen people that survived the carnage at Canary Wharf and I'd thought we'd found them all and retconned them to a point where nothing they knew could compromise us. Should've known at least one of them might have slipped through the cracks. Who the hell could be sure we got them all? It wasn't like we could identify the bodies and cross reference them to their employee records. The ones that had the identifiable bodies were the lucky ones. The ones that were dead – half converted in that house of horrors – were the worst. No one deserves to die like that.
So, now we're stuck with one Ianto Jones, former Cardiff resident and ex Torchwood One employee. All because I can't resist making spur of the moment decisions. Not to mention he's cute as hell. The way those Welsh infused words tumble from his lips…
Anyway, I digress. New employee at Torchwood Three. Makes him my problem now. Tosh is working up a profile for him here with the relevant security clearances – just basics for now until we can be sure. Not that I think he's a security risk. Based on the files we’ve found from Canary Wharf's IT systems, he was just a gopher, junior researcher (researching what?). Essentially a nobody. Kind of a shame. Wouldn't have minded getting one of their higher ups in a room to find out what else they were working on that was off the books. I don't doubt that there were whole servers full of research projects they wouldn't let us have access to. Tosh will eventually decrypt whatever we managed to recover from London but it's hardly a priority. They're all gone now. No risk of them implementing any of it without our knowledge.
Admittedly, we could do with someone around here to sort out all our research files. Tosh's systems can index most of what's saved, but there's still a mountain of paper downstairs and even I don't know where to look most days. I'll get Tosh to give him a run down of the databases tomorrow and then Suzie can escort him down to the archives to see if he can make heads or tails of it. At least it'll give him something to do, somewhere that cute little arse won't distract me all day.
15th March, 2006
I’m in. Thank god, but I'm in. I was starting to really worry that Jack Harkness was going to turn me away and run me out of town if I kept persisting. I never thought I'd be so relieved to discover a dinosaur trapped in a warehouse, let alone the idea of having to capture it (fun?). Hmm… might have to work on my definition of fun.
Not entirely sure that the Torchwood Three team are happy to have me yet. After everything that’s happened and the enmity between the two branches, I can hardly blame them. Still, I think they’ll see that I'm not threatening; it's always been my biggest strength, being able to blend into the background.
I probably shouldn't have redacted my files quite so much. He really wasn't interested in a junior researcher joining their ranks. Then again, he probably wouldn't have been terribly enamoured in having Yvonne Hartman’s assistant on the books either. In a cell, maybe. From what I've read of the files on Torchwood Three, things are a lot more action packed than they were in London. Perhaps Jack might have been looking for someone with a bit more street smarts, able to handle themselves in the face of a crisis. Well, I mean, if he only knew. And I did take down that weevil for him.
They’ve put me on their probation checklist – or at least what would count for one if they even had a checklist. Things appear to run pretty fast and loose here. Mission reports, research papers, no problem; they’ve got those by the truckload. As for the general day to day administration? I think it must have been sucked into the rift. God alone knows how Owen is supposed to go about getting a reimbursement for the hundred pound sneakers he ruined last night when he slipped in some of Myfanfwy’s rear end excitement. You’d think they'd have a form for that.
Toshiko gave me the basic introduction to their IT systems. Rudimentary stuff mostly, but there’s a lot more data here than what we had at Torchwood One. Less files on the politics of known alien visitors and diplomats, more data extracted from every nearly-world-ending event that has happened (which by all accounts is approximately once every other week).
After that, Suzie tried to lose me in the underground archive vaults. She pointed to some filing cabinets on one wall and suggested I start there, assuming anyone knew what was in there to be getting on with. The Cardiff branch facilities are more extensive than the research we had on them, though the secret entrances were all accounted for except one. Once she left me to my own devices, I was able to wander around, familiarising myself with the layout, and uncovering that one undocumented external doorway, which looks to have been unused for decades. There's a small room right at the very bottom of the facility, ten floors down, that will be perfect for keeping Lisa close by. I’ll need to get some basic equipment down there before attempting to move her, but it seems like moving around unsupervised won't be an issue. No one has exactly taken me under their wing, though Jack has ordered me to stay back tonight to undertake self defence training – whatever that might mean.
Captain’s Log - Thursday 16 March, 2006
I knew there was a reason we didn’t want anything to do with Torchwood One.
Last night I told Ianto to stay back. Basic self defence, as devised by me, turned out to be less fun than I thought. Any kind of firearms training that ends up with you getting shot in the head, by its very definition, generally isn't much fun.
I haven’t done introductory weapons training for a while but it was nice to pull out all the different weapons from the armoury and lay them all out on display. It says “ We’re Torchwood, don't mess with us. We know how to use these.” Of course, when you’re starting someone off green, it's always best to stick to traditional Earth-based guns: light, semi-automatic and as little recoil as possible.
I like to watch people's first reaction to guns. It tells you a lot about them. Pacifist, reluctant defender, rootin’ tootin’ shootin’ cowboy, or outright psychopath.
I showed Ianto how to take the thing apart and put it back together, how to make sure the safety is on at all times when you’re carrying it, how to take the safety off, then well, after that it’s point and shoot right? Except it's more nuanced than that. One-handed grip or two, front facing or side on. How to position your feet, not locking your elbows, relaxing your body, remembering to breathe. Things you can't afford to be stopping to think about when it comes to actually having to use the thing for real. That’s why we train at least one hour every month, so that it becomes second nature and an extension of your hand.
It's hard not to laugh at Ianto as he stands there for the first time, holding the gun two-handed, in his suit, face locked in an expression of deep concentration, like he’s a secret agent for MI-5 (would that any of the folks at MI-5 looked that sexy). Jones, Ianto Jones, and yeah, I smiled at that.
It's not a bad first effort. Misses the cardboard weevil by six inches, but I've seen worse. Second shot clips the edge and I can tell he’s getting nervous about missing again. Instead, it goes right through the throat - which if you’re defending yourself against a weevil is not a bad place to aim. No point going for the torso unless you only mean to slow it down enough to run away. Not that I condone killing weevils, but sometimes they don't give you a choice.
Nice shooting, Tex. I suggest he keep going until the clip is empty, this time hitting more times than he misses. Not everyone can be taught how to shoot, but on the inside I'm buzzing that things are going well. It's nice to have someone actually listen to you, especially when you’ve had Owen and Suzie being a pain in the arse all day. And I could get used to being called Sir.
We swap guns and I let him have a play with a few of the more exotic weapons we own. I’m standing behind him, ready to play catch when the recoil on the Ebezeen Laser Pistol readies to knock him halfway back into last week. Instead all I get is a little nudge back. So much for falling into my arms.
“When did you last charge this properly?” he says, and that’s when the bubble bursts. Turns out this isn’t his first rodeo, but that he didn’t want to say anything. Am I pissed? Damn right, but what am I supposed to do about it? He apologises. Says he didn’t want to spoil my thunder; that showing him the ropes was my way of making him feel welcome. Selfishly, I just like showing off my weapons (pun intended). I get a little bit spiteful, despite the explanation. You want real gun training? Let’s do it. Prove to me how good you really are, Jones, Ianto Jones, junior researcher.
I was goading him - shoot the weevil without hitting me. The torchwood equivalent to a game of Chicken. Seemed like a fair enough challenge since he’d proven he was a decent enough shot. Guess after finding out that your junior researcher knows how to handle a gun, you want to prove that he isn’t as good as he thinks he is. Plus, civilians – or even other Torchwood agents – getting in the way in a tussle with a weevil is more commonplace than you’d think.
Okay, to be fair, he’d have taken the weevil down with one bullet. A perfect takedown shot. Trouble is, that was the moment that the sneeze snuck up on me, making me jerk right into his firing line the same split second as he pulled the trigger. God, I hate getting shot in the head.
If I wanted to put him in his place and give him a good scare, well, I succeeded on that front. Not how I usually treat my employees – even questionably untrustworthy Torchwood One employees – but as Owen would say, shit happens. My fault, really. What kind of idiot stands in front of a trainee with a loaded gun? Me, apparently. It's just that normally the trainees don't shoot when I needle them to do it. Tosh wimped out, nearly in tears, and Owen flat out refused, labelling me a stupid prick. Only Suzie had the balls to do it. Until tonight. Either I'm getting less likeable, or they’re building Torchwood employees tougher these days.
Ianto has been given a level two retcon pill. None of the others know I can't die. He was freaked out but then became quite calm about it once I explained. If he knew I was slipping retcon into his glass of scotch afterwards, he didn't say anything. Not enough to wipe out the whole evening, just the part where he shot his new boss and then he came back to life. The sooner the Doctor can turn up and fix me, the better.
Making a note for future new employees that weapons training needs to be more boring, and less of me as target practice.
March 17, 2006
Self defence training with Jack Harkness was not what I expected. I thought he might be into all that hand to hand stuff, throwing me on the floor and sitting on top of me. Based on our interactions to date I suspect he’d enjoy that. Instead it was just firearms training.
It had been a long day and I really just wanted to get back to the flat and check on Lisa, but I could hardly just turn around and tell him I didn’t need it. He's got an ego, that’s for sure. So instead, we did the dance of me pretending to be a novice until I couldn't anymore. On any other day I might have strung it out, but I knew Lisa was in a bad way and the sooner I could get back home and help her, the better.
There's only so much you can do to hide the fact that you've fired a gun before. I let the first couple wobble or go wide but after that what was the point? I just told him that every Torchwood One employee was expected to attend basic firearms training. Not true, of course. Yvonne wasn't that crazy. Firearms were reserved for field agents. Can you imagine someone like Pippa being told to aim at an alien target and not shoot someone else by accident? She'd have been relying on her horoscope to get the aim right, searching for some mystical conjunction of pisces and sagittarius. Poor Pippa.
When it came to the laser gun I couldn't keep the lie going any longer. Like everything else around here, it was maintained in a half-baked way, with very little charge left in it. I doubt it would have made a weevil shiver let alone disabled it completely. Someone needs to make them face up to some hard truths about the way they’re running things here.
Jack seemed pissed that I’d lied to him about my previous experience with guns. Luckily his interrogation ended there. He seemed more intent on repairing his wounded pride, making me practise again and again until I was so tired I don't even remember the end of it. That must have satisfied him. The shameless innuendo certainly evaporated, but it was back today, if not quite as thickly laid on.
As punishment he’s sending me to shadow Owen tomorrow. Owen has promised that I can assist him with his autopsy of something that came through the rift today, though I'm sure, or only hoping, that “assisting” simply means taking notes and cleaning up afterwards. Cutting up bodies is not something I want to learn, but at least it will be an opportunity to slide in a whole lot of medical questions that will hopefully help me care for Lisa. He’s already approved of my offering to inventory his medical supplies and let him know what needs ordering. With luck, all of this training they're giving me, will pay off in other ways.
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chasethestars
chasethestars
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Fun to see a bit of Ianto's first couple of days at Torchwood Three.