Title: The (Cat) Lady of Wayne Manor
Fandom: Batman
Author: Apache Firecat
Characters: Bruce/Selina, Alfred
Rating: PG-13/T
Summary: Alfred is settling in to the idea of the new Lady of the Manor.
Word Count: 1,087
Written For: Fan FlashWorks 397: Swallow, 100Ships 23. Linen, and Fannish 50 #22
Warnings: None
Disclaimer: All characters within belong to their rightful owners, not the author, and are used without permission.








Alfred paused in the doorway of the master suite at Wayne Manor, and for the first time that Bruce could remember in all the many years Alfred had served his family, the silver platter he held clattered just a little. The former MI6 agent recovered quickly, however, righting the tray and calming himself. "I take it you will not be having breakfast this morning, Master Wayne?" he asked, though his eyes remained rivetted on the windowsill where two beady, dead eyes stared back at him.

"No, that's... quite all right, Alfred." Bruce wasn't sure rather to laugh or be appalled by his wife's behavior. She had been more catlike than human the entire time he had known her, but he would never have thought that she would actually kill a bird.

Selina spat out the tiny swallow and licked blood from the back of her hand. "I do have to stay in shape," she commented, not daring to look at either of them. Perhaps it was a trick of the morning sunlight filtering in through the sheer curtains, but Bruce thought he saw crimson actually darkening her high cheekbones.

"Perhaps a cup of tea this morning?"

"Coffee," Bruce said, his eyes not moving from Selina. "Strong."

"Yes, sir. And for the lady?" Alfred's mustache did not even twitch to give away that he thought any the less of Lady Wayne for having killed the small bird who had awakened her too early that morning. She was, after all, more cat than human, which was one of the many reasons he knew she made the perfect fit for a man who was more bat than human. Neither of them would ever be accepted by normal people, but they could learn to live with and love despite, if not actually embrace, each other's idiosyncrasies.

"Milk," Bruce murmured.

"Cream. I'm feeling a bit peckish." Selina glanced at Alfred. "And perhaps a small bag or something?"

"Quite right, milady." Alfred set the tray down and removed Bruce's coffee, placing it onto the nightstand beside his ward, who was now grown and not nearly the lad he had been when he had first come underneath Alfred's protection. "Will that be all?" Only now did the very edge of his dark and wiry mustache twitch.

"Yes." He hurried from the room but not in such a manner as to reveal that he was rushing or to decrease his grace in even the slightest. He was quick to return, too, but when he did, he was glad to see that the bird was gone without a single trace of its corpse left behind, and the mistress of the manor had returned to her rightful place beside the lord.

He set out the coffee, cream, and a tray of sushi before moving, with some considerable, if indiscernible, cautiousness, to the window. He started to pull the curtains apart, but Bruce's firm but gentle voice stopped him. "That's all right, Alfred. You can leave them. I believe the Missus and I will be spending a day together," Bruce announced, gently squeezing Selina's growing waist.

"Very well, sir," Alfred said. "Her appointment is tomorrow, correct?"

"You can ask me, Al," Selina said with a mischievous grin, "and yes, it's tomorrow. Bruce has that meeting unfortunately, but I was thinking, perhaps, you wouldn't mind..."

He turned quickly from the window, but not before he spotted three of her rather large tomcats ravishing the remains of the poor swallow. "You would like me to attend the appointment with you, my lady?"

"Very much so." Selina placed a hand on her belly underneath the linens. "You are the closest thing our child will have to a grandparent."

Alfred's blue eyes twinkled. "I would like that," he acknowledged. "It will very much be my honor."

"And mine to have you with us."

Alfred inclined his head in a respectable nod to the lady of the Manor, collected his tray, and left husband and wife to themselves behind closed doors. He found himself humming as he returned to the kitchen. The good Lord above knew they needed to do something about Selina's hormones soon, but the honor he was to be graced with tomorrow was one of the grandest for which he could have ever hoped. He glanced at a picture of Thomas and Martha Wayne standing and embracing together and nodded to them in honor.

"I told you she would be good for him, Master Wayne. Only one such as she could truly understand our boy." What was more, he thought with a pleased sigh that hinted of his relief as tension lifted from his thin shoulders, she clearly had no intention of removing him from the Master's life. Their family was growing, in more ways than one, and if he had to move the birdfeeders again... Well, it was of little consequence in the large scheme of things and certainly a small price to pay to see his ward happy in a life with a love he knew would care for him long after Alfred himself was gone.

He sat alone to eat his toast, but not before bowing his head in great respect and praying both for guidance and patience for them all in the coming future and for protection for every one of them, both two-legged and four, and including those of them who were getting older and grayer in their senior years, those who still had many years ahead, and those who had quite yet to be born and come into the world that the rest of their family was trying so hard every night and day to make a better place for them, for theirs, and for all involved.

"He's learning too," he said, nodding his head towards Martha Wayne in the photograph. "He's actually taking today off." He could almost hear her chiding him to take the day as well, but he laughed merrily. "That shall be tomorrow, madam, while I take a day for the family." It was hardly a day off -- he would still wait on Selina hand and foot and wake them both with breakfast in the morn --, but it would be the best day he'd had in a long while. Tomorrow, too, he realized, was when they would learn the sex of the baby, but he had a feeling he already knew. Besides, they'd all love the child just the same, no matter the gender. He swept his dishes away and actually broke out into song as he began to clean.



The End