Title: Performative Incompetence
Fandom: Weki Meki
Rating: G
Length: 875 words
Content notes: The idea came from Weki Meki's Crush MV
Author notes: I had fun with this one.
Summary: It was easy to distract the men by playing into what they expected from a team of women.


It all started when Doyeon backed into the alarm button on the panel they were going past, alerting the owners and the security that they were there. As soon as the men appeared, surrounding them, they put their hands and their weapons up, looking ashamed, lost, disgusted with each other.

Of course they were arrested.

Suyeon knew exactly what they saw. Eight girls in shorts, short skirts or tight pants, all in pink and black, made up and cutesy, even with YooJung's collar.

Exactly what they wanted those men to see.

Even after they got out, as they'd expected, the security forces followed them back to their base. Suyeon grinned at her team, winked, and they went in.

Of course each area looked cutesy. On purpose. They put on the absolute performance of a lifetime. All their preparation came to utter fruition.

Suyeon knew her setup well enough that she could record the others, check on the men watching, and pretend to get lost and be playing Galaxy Attack all at once. She did enjoy the game. She enjoyed even more pretending that she couldn't play it at all, swearing at her computer.

Doyeon's driving - she couldn't do much without hurting herself, but posturing with the gun - and then flinching when it went off? Absolute perfection. As was hearing the men's laughter at her stunned face, especially when she grabbed the helmet off the bike to hide behind.

All Rina had to do was make sure not to hit the target with her knives, which she did perfectly. Her aim was no joke, and she could easily hit wherever she aimed. She just didn't aim at the bullseye. The icing on top? Pretending to nick her finger, and grabbing a nice cartoon Band-Aid to put on it, all while pouting.

Elly and Lucy played their parts to the hilt, including the stickers on the welding mask - they'd had so much fun decorating it! - and the fire in the car. Little did the men watching know that they could easily make it look like the car was on fire, and five minutes later, it'd be purring like a kitten, smooth as anything, and ready to take on a street race or a high speed chase, and win. Having them cowering in the back seat just added to the veracity of everything.

Not laughing took everything Suyeon had.

Yoojung at the shooting range was amazing. Not hitting a single bottle, not even hitting the huge teddy bear - why would they think that was a bad idea? Seriously, it was perfect - so they didn't notice the perfect line up of the bullet holes behind it all. They were too distracted by the way she kicked over the bear to pretend she'd hit it.

The last pair, Lua and Sei, put on quite the show. The men watching would probably see just how deadly that pink bat was - why did it matter what color it was? It would still take out a man's head - never mind the other weapons around her. And Sei's gun with stickers on it. They didn't see how she kept looking up at the camera, pretending to be engrossed with making her gun look right.

Hah. It was their greatest performance yet.

When they broke into the warehouse the second time, up against the same men that had spied on them, those men had no idea what they were up against. And their smirks turned to shock when Lua's pink bat put the first one down. The rest followed in quick succession. Suyeon knew they'd all feel like complete idiots - even more than they already did? - when they checked the cameras and saw the car that had been "blown up" running smoothly and almost silently on its approach to the warehouse.

Suyeon took care of the safe easily and quickly, pulling out the envelope they wanted as the rest of the women stood around on guard. In all, it might have been the longest thing they'd done, but it was also definitely the funnest. They walked back out, taking care of any other guards they came across. Not that they found many, as most had been taken care of on the way in. Suyeon enjoyed every single widened eye, stunned look, and utter humiliation as they easily took down each of the guards they met.

When they finished, the guards down from being tased and sedated, their goal reached with an ease most men couldn't understand, Doyeon took Rina, Yoojung rode with Elly, and Lucy drove the car with the other three, engines near silent on both bikes and the car, purring like contented cats. No over dramatic flair, no loud noise to show where they were.

The woman who greeted them when they arrived at their meeting place looked pathetically pleased when they handed her the documents they'd gotten. She had already paid them, added her deepest thanks, and then got in her own car to disappear.

"Well done, ladies," Suyeon said with a smile. "How about we go get something to drink?"

"Milkshakes?" Rina asked brightly.

When the rest of the chimed in, Suyeon didn't try to dissuade them. They knew better than to go get drunk. And besides, she liked milkshakes, too.