Title: Rules of atonement
Author: m_findlow
Rating: PG
Length: 2,194 words
Content notes: None
Author notes: Written for Challenge 392 - Forgive and forget
Summary: Ianto is displeased at the arrival of an unwanted guest.
Ianto settled the mug of coffee on the desk and gave a contented sigh. Peace and quiet at last, he thought, having Gwen finally leave him to sort out things at the hub whilst she was off liaising with her friends in the police force. Add the that the fact that Jack was also out of his hair, unhappily attending UNIT’s latest conference, there was some small hope that he might finally catch up on some of the enormous backlog of things he hadn’t done. If not now, it was never going to happen. Not to mention that the rift planned on behaving itself. He was never going to get a better opportunity.
Just as soon as he was finished enjoying his coffee and croissants. Even with a backlog of work there was still enough time to enjoy brunch. Particularly brunch, uninterrupted.
The hub's computer system’s however had other thoughts, bleeping angrily at him just as soon as he bit into that first divine buttery mouthful of pastry.
‘Balls,’ he complained, forcing the lump of croissant down, not even properly chewed. ‘What now?’ It wasn't a rift alert, but the computer was upset about some intrusion. He reviewed the data, trying to ascertain the precise location, surprised to find that it was right over the top of the hub. If it was right there up on the plass, the local CCTV would show him what he was dealing with.
He opened up a new window and tapped a few simple commands to log into local CCTV, flicking from one camera to the next to get the best angle of whatever was up there. When he spotted it, his mouth went dry, seeing the blue police box parked just a few feet from the water tower. All around, no one seemed to take any notice of it, very obviously sitting there as if it had tethered itself to the chameleon circuit qualities that the flagstones around the water tower themselves had, marking it as invisible, or at least not noticeable. Ianto noticed it alright, though, and he knew it was bound to bring them trouble. He growled under his breath, pushing back from the desk. ‘Not today,’ he told it in no uncertain terms, already walking towards the invisible lift and activating it from a program on his phone.
Ianto scowled at the police box as it entered his line of vision, rising upwards towards the plass until the flagstone beneath his feet clicked into place. He was unarmed, but that didn’t deter him from bridging the few steps and walking right up to the door and rapping his knuckles sharply on its wooden surface. If the Doctor thought he was going to get mild-mannered, can-do Ianto Jones, he was sorely mistaken. The world wasn't ending today – Ianto would make sure of it – and so being nice wasn’t high on his list of priorities.
He only had to wait a second before a familiar face poked its head out through a gap in the door as it opened inwards. The hair was just as haphazard, and the suit just as crumpled as Ianto remembered, noting that it was still paired with dirty sneakers, which was about as much of a crime as anything.
‘Yes? Hello,’ the Doctor said, seemingly not recognising him at first. He frowned. ‘How’d you…oh, wait, hang on. I know you. One of those little Torchwood people.’ Ianto bristled at the description. ‘Jack’s friends,’ he added, hardly improving relations as far as Ianto was concerned. ‘Oh, what's it? Funny name.’
Ianto’s jaw clenched as he forced himself to reply. ‘Ianto.’
The Doctor snapped his fingers. ‘That's it!’ He paused and considered it for a second. ‘Hmm… Welsh don't normally have vowels. How'd you end up with three? That must be like the national quota. Do they have laws about that sort of thing in the twenty-first century?’
Ianto narrowed his eyes at the scruffy but all too familiar man. ‘What are you doing here?’
The Doctor took a step out of the police box. ‘Oh, nothing much. Just popping by. And your rift here is handy for refuelling my TARDIS.’ He pointed back over his shoulder. ‘The police box,’ he added, as if Ianto was so stupid as to not know what he was referring to. He skipped up the flagstone and folded his arms leaning against the water tower far too casually for Ianto’s liking, bringing him up to an equal height with Ianto. It was one of those times when he quietly wished that someone from the council would run some tests on otherwise pre programmed settings for when the tower would switch itself on, sending a sheen of water down its length. Mostly Tosh's old programs overrode it so that the team wouldn’t be inconvenienced when they needed to use the invisible lift. Any attempts to override it now using the link from his phone would take far too much of an overt move on Ianto’s behalf.
The Time Lord peered over Ianto’s shoulder and looked around the plass. ‘Jack about?’
‘He's out of town,’ Ianto replied, glad for the fact. ‘Attending a UNIT conference in Nantes.’
‘Oh that,’ the Doctor replied casually, waving away the explanation. ‘Got the invite of course. Never bother, though. Too much politics. Didn't peg Jack as the type to tow the administrative line.’
Ianto tensed at the inference that Jack would have to be dragged there kicking and screaming – even if it was true. He didn't like them but he went nonetheless, grumbling about it for days leading up to it. ‘It's part of the job.’
The Doctor nodded. ‘Ah, the new responsible Jack,’ he mused, driving Ianto's irritation up a notch. ‘Shame.’
Ianto wasn't sure if the comment was disappointment at Jack's absence or his sense of duty. ‘Guess you'll just have to wait until next time. Whenever that might be.’
The Doctor stepped off the flagstones with a spring in his step more akin to that of a child. ‘I'm sensing a tone.’
‘I don't know what you mean,’ Ianto said, remaining coolly coy.
‘Yep, definitely a tone. Am I interrupting something?’
‘Other than a perfectly quiet Cardiff afternoon? No. Torchwood doesn't get many of those.’
‘Hmm... Torchwood. Still don't think I approve of all this.’
It was Ianto’s turn to fold his arms. ‘You don't get a say.’
‘Ah, there's that tone again.’
‘It's not a tone!’ he huffed, growing annoyed by their exchange.
‘Have I done something to upset you?’
Ianto let his scowl return. He might not ever get a chance like this again, here on his own where he could really say what was on his mind without worrying about whether Jack would be upset with him. ‘Take a guess. Perhaps you need to refresh your memory. Unless of course you're in the habit of just abandoning your friends and leaving them behind.’
‘Oh that,’ he replied, using such a dismissive that Ianto wanted sorely just to throw a punch at him. ‘We're good now.’
Ianto didn’t believe it for a second. There was nothing good about it. ‘You told him he was wrong. Like a misspelt word on a chalkboard at school.’
The Doctor's cadence went from one of causal amusement to a darker, more unsettling coldness. ‘He is wrong. He's an impossible thing that shouldn't exist.’
The words hit Ianto as intended, riling up his anger. ‘He isn't wrong.’ He was a lot of things, and far from perfect, but Ianto loved him with all his heart. Jack had tried so hard to gloss over the time he'd been away with his Doctor, but eventually the troubles found their way home and into their bedroom, reaching a tipping point where Jack's nightmares threatened to destroy them both. It had taken a long time for Jack to open up and tell Ianto everything, but like so much of Jack's past, it remained hidden only for so long before the weight of it threatened to crush him.
Ianto knew Jack still had plenty of secrets from him, but he was slowly peeling back the layers, learning more about what had shaped Jack into the man he was today. A big part of that was his immortality, how he'd come to be that way and the agonisingly long wait he'd had to get answers as to how it had happened and how it could be fixed. Ianto saw how much those long years of life burdened Jack. Though he said he was reconciled to his existence now, Ianto also knew that if Jack could only have had just one life, he would have taken it, even if it meant that his life might be cut short, just as it was for so many Torchwood agents.
Selfishly, Ianto would have loved the idea that they might both survive Torchwood and might grow old and grey together. He didn't want Jack to watch him die young, any more than he wanted a perpetually young Jack to watch him grow old and die. Whatever happened, he wanted them to do it together. Jack deserved happiness and freedom as much as the next person, probably more for all he'd already suffered.
‘He means everything to me. He isn’t perfect; none of us are, but one thing he definitely isn’t is wrong. He was here to save the planet when you weren’t. He doesn't just swan off on some brand new adventure when he gets bored with a place. He stays, because he feels a duty to us. We never asked him to, but he does it, and all because he’s just trying to prove to you that he’s a better person than when you first met him. He’s done all this for you and all you can do is stand there and tell me he’s wrong.’
The Doctor returned his displaced countenance. ‘You can’t change the facts just because you don’t like them.’
‘You said you couldn't fix him,’ Ianto replied, challenging him to prove that was really the case.
‘He didn't want it. Not really. It's Jack. He loves being the centre of attention.’
‘You’re the one who’s wrong. He lives with it because he has to.’
‘And your dedication to him is admirable, but just remember something. If he wasn’t how he is you never would have even met.’
Ianto despised having serendipity thrown in his face. ‘That's hardly the point. If I could help him I would.’
The Doctor closed the gap between them, fixing Ianto with his intense brown-eyed gaze. ‘And if I could undo what the TARDIS did, I would. He shouldn't exist. He should have died up on that game station when the daleks shot him.’
The Doctor knew he'd misstepped the moment he said the words. Ianto's fists balled at his sides. ‘I love him. His existence is everything to me.’
‘Question is, does he love you back?’
Ianto felt like he’d been slapped in the face. ‘Of course he does! He had a hard time showing it, but Ianto didn't kid himself that there was at least some love reciprocated. Perhaps not all of it, but it was enough for Ianto. It was only that Jack was afraid of getting too close to anyone, knowing he’d have to say goodbye one day, and in all likelihood, far sooner than he liked. ‘Maybe if he had more people who showed that they cared, he wouldn't feel nearly so scared of showing them the same. He’d sacrifice everything for you and all you can do is stand there and judge us. Maybe we’re not powerful, all knowing, all seeing Time Lords, but I’d rather be a nobody if it comes down to that.’ He stood a little straighter before speaking again. ‘Now, I'm going back downstairs to finish my coffee and sort out a backlog of paperwork. Be gone by the time I’ve finished them.’
‘And if I'm not?’ the Doctor challenged.
‘Then you might find out the hard way just how little Torchwood has changed. Jack might be able to forgive and forget, but I'm starting to think that Queen Victoria had some very good reasons why she set up this place – to protect us from you.’
The Doctor scowled back at him. ‘I’m not your enemy. Saved twenty seven planets, remember? Including this one.’
Ianto nodded. ‘I remember. But that doesn’t make us friends, either.’
The Doctor appeared to brush off Ianto’s words, as if he done nothing more than comment on the likelihood of rain. ‘Well,’ he said, sliding his hands deep into his brown pinstripe pockets, ‘tell Jack I said hi.’
‘I won't,’ Ianto cordially replied. ‘It would only disappoint him to know you'd been here and he'd missed you. Better he didn't have to live with that. Not from you.’ He turned on his heel and walked away, preferring to take the long route back to the hub, which had the added impact of forcing the Doctor to watch him stalk away.
‘Think you’ll have forgiven me next time I’m in town?’ the Doctor shouted at his back.
‘Until you admit you’re the one who’s wrong I very much doubt it.’

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