Title: not a mess
Fandom: Station 19
Character: Jack Gibson
Length: 200 words
Rating: Teen
Warnings: suicidal thoughts, alcohol use, pills mentioned, depression, coarse language
SPOILERS!!! - through Episode 6x03
Written for: fan_flashworks #389- Amnesty #64 - Challenge #102 “disaster”



What kind of man is he? What kind of question is that? Jack runs his hand through his unwashed hair, tugging a little harder than he strictly needs to. The pain steadies him.

The beer tastes bitter on his tongue. What the hell is he still doing here? Living in a dead man's house, using his tools, and fucking his wife? What is this? When was the last time he showered? Even the idea of stripping off his clothes, turning on the water, and stepping under the nozzle, feels overwhelming. It's all so pointless and stupid. He can't do this anymore. Shaking his head, he takes another swallow of beer. He's a mess. No, wait, not a mess. A fucking disaster.

He's not a firefighter anymore. He's not anything. He can't even fix a roof. "Idiot," he mutters. No one wants him. No one cares. He knocks back the rest of his beer and glances at the bottle of pills. Is there enough left to do the job? Gathering what courage he has left, he takes a step forward, and that's when he hears them. He turns, sees Andy and the others through the broken window, and can breathe again.