Title: Fix It
Fandom: Transformers (Cartoon G1)
Characters: First Aid, Ultra Magnus
Warnings: None
Length: 612 words
Summary: Sometimes even medics have doubts (and know they have to fix themselves)

“I can fix it.” First Aid repeated over and over in his head. He didn’t dared to speak these words out loud. The irrational fear that he couldn’t fix ‘it’ aka the injuries had taken over him. First Aid knew that he was a capable medic who had saved many lives. Sure, he had learned from the best of the best, but this hadn’t been a guarantee that he would end up doing his job as good as he had done.

Everything was surreal starting with who was laying on the medical bank, the injuries and the circumstances. It was as if there was something at odds, but no matter how often he repeated what Optimus had told him, it always somehow made sense.

“I know you can fix it.” First Aid looked at Ultra Magnus, pretty certain that it was obvious from his body language  that he hadn’t expected these words. He wondered if he had spoken his mantra out loud but that was the only thing he was certain about: he hadn’t said anything.

“I’ll do my best.” First Aid replied evasive, trying to break optic contact but it was as if some unknown force was preventing him from breaking said optic contact with Ultra Magnus.
“You always do your best, First Aid. Don’t make yourself small, okay?” Despite the pain he was in, he managed to smile quickly at the medic, who in return murmured a “thank you” but nothing more.

Silently he continued his work. Ultra Magnus noticed that First Aid was trying to avoid any optic contact. If only the pain would decrease, so it wouldn’t could his conscious anymore. Luckily the injuries weren’t of any dangerous severity but most of them were located on sensitive areas.

“This will hurt.” First Aid spoke a fair warning, for which Magnus was thankful for. Gradually he lost all feeling for time and it seemed like mega-cycles had passed when First Aid announced that he was finished.
Against what his subconsciousness wanted to make him believe, he had fixed everything.

“You should rest and it would be beneficial if you wouldn’t jump into the next battle as soon as you leave the medical area.” First Aid looked at him and gave him a nod.

“Thanks, doc.” Ultra Magnus laid his servo on First Aid's shoulder. “You should believe in yourself. I’ve sensed that you’ve doubted yourself.”

“But … I …” First Aid began, realizing that it wouldn’t be of any use to tell Magnus a lie. He would probably detect it right on the spot. “Easier said than be done.”


Once Ultra Magnus had left the medical area and he was alone again, First Aid began to clean up his tools. His thoughts drifted back to the old dilemma he thought he had overcome. There were still days when he envied other medics who had been also brave soldiers on the battlefield. Sure, he was part of a Combiner and he knew that he was as useful as the others but in the end he was always glad when he didn’t had to be present on the battlefield.  

“It’s stupid to think about this again. I know there is no reason why I should waste my time with this kind of thoughts but here I am.” First Aid scold himself, scrubbing his tools feverish.

It was one thing to fix injuries on the body, another to fix electronic systems either with tools or programming but it was something completely different to try to fix anything connected to the memory box and the parts which were responsible for emotions.
That was laborious work, not impossible but definitely a long term exercise.