Title: (i could never give you) peace
Fandom Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Pairing: Rupert Giles/Buffy Summers
Rating: PG
Length: 2,167 words
Content notes: Canon typical violence
Author notes: Set post-series but ignores comic canon. I chose the word kawaakari for this fic. Title comes from Peace by Taylor Swift
Summary: A fight with a yuki-onna leads to some revelations for Buffy and Giles.



Buffy took a deep breath as she walked out of the inn she was staying at. A few short years ago, she never would have thought that she would be standing here, in Japan of all places. Now, here she was, in a city that had interested her since her second year in Sunnydale. Granted, that had been due to a prevalence of figure skaters in Nagano at the time, not a demon.

Well, a yōkai, as Giles had explained, which were not quite the same thing as demons apparently. Not how the Western world viewed them.

She felt a gentle hand on her shoulder. Looking up, she saw that the man himself had come out to join her.

“It’s lovely isn’t it?” Giles asked, looking out at the water in front of them.

Buffy looked back out at the Chikuma River. It was hitting dusk in Nagano and the nearly set sun was still reflecting on the surface. The pinks and purples glowing on the water were absolutely stunning.

“I believe the Japanese have a term for this exact phenomena,” Giles continued, “They call it kawaakari which directly translates to ‘river light'”

Buffy smiled back at her Watcher. Technically, Giles had been the Head Watcher of the newly formed Council for awhile now, but she still liked to think of him as hers.

Which was a whole other can of worms she didn’t want to open.

Somewhere along the way, her feelings for Giles had changed. Buffy couldn’t pinpoint where or when it had happened, but standing here in Nagano, watching the river’s glow, it made her want to do things. Things that she wasn’t sure Giles would be receptive to.

They’d reconciled in the past couple years since Sunnydale’s destruction and working together in London, they’d become closer than ever before. Yet, Buffy was terrified of ruining the small little bubble of peace they’d carved out.

“Ready to go?” Giles asked, breaking through Buffy’s thoughts.

“Lead on, Macduff,” she replied with a grin.

Giles opened his mouth as if to speak, but Buffy cut him off.

“And before you say it,” she added, “I know that’s not the actual line.”

Giles grinned in response. Then, Watcher and Slayer headed towards the mountains and to the reason behind their visit.

No, Buffy couldn’t tell Giles how she felt about him. Peace was far too fleeting in their line of work.

———

They were a couple hours into their so far fruitless trek through the mountains when the snow began to fall. It started slowly but quickly grew in intensity. The fire of the torch Giles had been carrying quickly extinguished.

Living in London had certainly bolstered Buffy’s appreciation for winter-y weather. Still, a chill ran through her. Looking over at Giles, Buffy could see that it was affecting him as well.

“I think our yōkai knows we’re here,” Buffy said.

As if on cue, through the haze of snow appeared a dark haired woman in a long flowing white kimono. She floated through the snow towards the pair.

”A yuki-onna,” Giles had explained when he’d first asked Buffy to accompany him, ”They’re rather malevolent and like to prey on unsuspecting mortals.”

Buffy found herself frozen in fear by the look in the yōkai’s eyes. It reminded her of that encounter with Dracula so many years ago. It had terrified Buffy that a vampire could have so much power of her. It had led her to ask Giles to be her Watcher again. Thinking about it, Buffy realized that even during the whole fight with Glory, her feelings for Giles had started to change.

Then she’d gone and sacrificed herself.

“Buffy!”

She turned to see the yuki-onna descending upon Giles a little ways away. Clearly in her frozen state, he’d been able to lead the spirit away. Giles was fumbling for a lighter to try and sparks up that torch again, but she saw him freeze with the same fear that had filled her mind.

“So lonely,” she heard the yōkai croon as she circled Giles, “So much pain."

Buffy rummaged through her bag desperately, searching for the "secret weapon” Giles had insisted on. Gripping her hand around the glass neck of a bottle, she quickly began putting it together.

“You could be happy here with me,” the yōkai continued, “You could finally have the peaceful life you crave.”

The yuki-onna was leaning towards Giles, as if she was about to kiss him. A strange glowing stream was starting to flow out of Giles’s now open mouth and towards the yōkai.

”Some legends say that yuki-onna are rather similar to vampires,” Buffy remembered Giles saying as they’d discussed the dangers of the threat they were travelling to face, ”Apparently they can suck out the blood or even the life force of a person.”

Her eyes widening, Buffy knew she had to act.

“Hey Snow Hag,” Buffy called to the spirit, holding up a rag filled bottle in one hand and a lit lighter in in the other, “Keep your gross cold lips off of my Watcher.”

The yuki-onna turned angrily and began to float towards Buffy. She used the opportunity to light the rag inside and throw the bottle towards the spirit once it was a safe distance from Giles. A scream rang out as the yuki-onna began to burn.

“Danger lives in you,” she cackled as the flames consuming her flowing kimono, “You’ll never know true peace.”

“Maybe not,” Buffy replied, “But I’ll take what I can get.”

The last bit of the yōkai burned and erupted into a brilliant blast of light that threw Buffy backwards. She felt her body hit solid rock and she crumpled. The injuries plus the cold on the mountain made it impossible for her to move.

“Buffy!”

Her grip on consciousness was waning, but she’d know that voice anywhere. Buffy tried to hold on. She could give him that at least.

“Buffy,” he repeated, a lot closer now.

She could see him hovering over her now. The moonlight and the snow behind gave off a glow, not unlike that of the river earlier, and it made him look positively heavenly. He cupped her cheek gently, and Buffy thought that is if this was the last thing she ever saw, she was glad it was him.

“I’m sorry Giles,” she apologized weakly as the darkness overtook her.

——

Warmth

That was the first thing Buffy felt. Wherever she was now, it was warm. She remembered the chill of the mountain, the yōkai that had attempted to take Giles from her, the last admonishment as she had burned.

You’ll never know true peace.

Buffy remembered the hazy vision of a moonlit Giles above her, his hand softly on her cheek. She reached her hand up to hold his there, not wanting to lose the sensation.

“Buffy?” she heard him call softly.

Her eyes fluttered open slowly. Giles came into view. He wasn’t glowing under the moonlight anymore. Fluorescent hospital lighting was surrounding them now. Still, she was holding his hand cupped to her cheek.

“Giles,” she croaked out.

He pulled his hand from her cheek and she felt an immediate sense of loss. Giles reached for a plastic cup filled with icy water and offered it to her.

“You should drink something.”

She reached for the cup shakily and slowly sipped the water.

“Ah Miss Summers. You’re awake,” came an accented voiced from the doorway.

Buffy looked over to see a dark haired man in a lab coat.

“I’m Doctor Toriyama,” he said, “I’ve been looking after you for the past three days.”

Buffy turned to Giles with a look of shock.

“Three days?”

Giles said nothing but nodded tersely.

“It was touch and go for a bit,” the doctor continued, “But we managed to get you stabilized.”

Buffy realized then just how close she’s come to dying.

Again.

Doctor Toriyama began checking some of the various machines in the room. Despite the amount of time she and the other Scoobies spent in hospitals over the years, Buffy had never really cared to learn what most of the equipment was for.

“You should be careful in the mountains,” he said as he wrote down some of the readings, “Don’t want to anger a yuki-onna.”

Buffy and Giles looked at each other with the same expression of pure shock and dread.

“Oh don’t worry. Yuki-onna are just a legend. There’s not really any angry snow spirits around.”

The Slayer and Watcher relaxed as the doctor finished his readings and left the room.

“Giles?” Buffy asked, “Did you get any sleep while I’ve been here?”

He turned to her and she already saw the answer to her question in the dark circles she saw under his eyes.

“Go get some sleep.”

“Buffy, I-“

“No 'buts',” she admonished, cutting off his protests, “I’m okay. I’m alive.”

Something shifted in his demeanour then. He grabbed her hand in his.

“Thank goodness for that,” he said.

Buffy smiled and gently squeezed him hand.

“Go,” she said, “I’ll be safe here.”

Giles relented and let go of her hand. Then, he got up and left the room. But not before placing a gentle kiss on her forehead. She could feel the slight scratchiness from the three days of stubble that had formed on his face. It wasn’t unpleasant.

Buffy sighed. Despite being unconscious for three days, she still felt tired. Soon, she found herself drifting off with thoughts of kissing Giles in far less innocent ways.

———

“I heard she woke up this morning.”

“Oh good! I bet her husband was so relieved.”

The voices of the two nurses in the room had awoken Buffy. Her ears had perked up at the word ‘husband’ knowing that they definitely meant Giles. She decided to keep her eyes closed and listen to them chatter.

“Did you see the way he was when he brought her in?”

“Yes. I don’t think I’ve ever seen someone look that desperate.”

“He carried her all the way down the mountain.”

Buffy’s heart thumped in her chest. She thought back to her first year in Sunnydale when Amy’s mother had attacked her and how Giles had so gently carried her into the lab.

“And the way he kept talking to her,” the first nurse gushed, “Telling her how much he needed her. How he couldn’t be without her.”

“I know,” her companion swooned, “I wish I had someone who loved me that deeply.”

Buffy had known Giles loved her for years. To what extent that love stretched was where she got confused. Hearing these nurses talking though gave her the hope that maybe he did love her as more than just his Slayer. More than just his friend.

The nurses shuffled out just as she heard another familiar set of footsteps enter the room.

“I know you’re awake Buffy,” he chided gently as he took the spot by her bed.

She opened her eyes then. Giles looked a lot more rested. He had a fresh change of clothes and had shaved.

“Can’t get anything past you can I?” She joked.

Giles smiled.

“Not when we’ve known each other this long.”

A silence fell between them.

“Giles?”

“Hmmm?”

Buffy paused at the sight of Giles’s face. His eyes were always so expressive. She’d recognize them in a crowd or even on a Fyarl demon. Right now, his eyes seemed to be reflecting the feelings she had kept hidden in her heart.

“Did you really carry me all the way down the mountain?”

Giles gave her a look of confusion.

“The nurses were talking before you came in,” she explained.

“Ah.”

Another moment of silence fell between them.

“Well,” Buffy pressed, “Did you?”

“Did I what?” Giles asked.

“Carry me down the mountain!”

Giles sighed and removed his glasses.

“Yes, I did,” he answered.

“Why?” Buffy asked quietly.

Giles looked at her incredulously.

“Why?” He repeated, “Because I didn’t really see another option. It was carry you down the mountain and try to get you some help or -“

He stopped, pressing his face into his hand. Buffy could see his eyes starting to glisten.

“I couldn’t leave you up there,” he continued, “I couldn’t…Not without -“

Once again, Giles stopped himself. Buffy could feel her pulse quicken. This was it.

“Without what?”

He looked at her and she saw it in his eyes. Through the layers of pain and tears, she saw it.

Love.

Summoning every bit of her Slayer strength, Buffy managed to pull herself up. Giles scrambled to help, but he stopped when she gently placed her hand on his cheek.

“The yuki-onna told me I’d never find true peace,” she said, "But she was wrong.”

Buffy leaned forward and softly pressed her lips to his.

“You’re my peace Giles,” confessed Buffy as she pulled back.

“Oh Buffy,” Giles sighed.

He pulled her into his chest and she clung there. The scent of books and sandalwood and everything that was Giles surrounded her.