Title: From Bad Seeds
Fandom: Black Butler
Rating: T
Length: 555 Words
Content notes: No Spoilers and doesn't follow a particular canon, so can be read as a standalone piece.
Author notes: Borrows canon from Demon Slayer that wisteria is toxic to demons lol.
Summary: Ciel buys a Chinese wisteria tree from Lau, much to Sebastian's disgust and dismay, and has it planted smack dab in the center of the garden just to offend and nauseate his insufferable butler.

Sebastian’s eyes widen and he shouts, “Finnian, what are you carrying that thing around for?”

The tree clutched in the gardener’s right fist is tall and slender with cascading flowers that drape him like a curtain. He regards Sebastian with a grin and motions to the man trailing behind him.

“Mr. Lau brought us a present!” he chirps. “It’s a…What’s it called again?”

“Chinese Wisteria,” Ciel pipes up for him, rounding the corner of the building just on Lau’s heels. His one good eye is fixed upon his butler and he delights in the slight squirm in his perfect posture. “The garden could use a little color, don’t you think, Sebastian?”

The demon offers no response and continues to eyeball the tree with a look of disgust that neither Ciel nor Lau have ever witnessed upon that cruel, lovely mien of his.

“Over here!” calls Barderoy to Finnian, waving to him near the gazebo at the rear of the garden. “The Young Master wants it in view for afternoon tea, right? This is the perfect spot! Hole’s already dug, too!”

Sebastian’s shoulders slump a half centimeter and he sighs. “My lord, really, you should have consulted me first before making such a rash decision. Wisteria can be…an invasive species.”

“It’s so pretty, though!” chimes in Meyrin, sprinting past them to watch Finnian and Barderoy plant the tree firmly into the ground. “I think it’s a wonderful addition, young master!”

Ciel smiles breezily and nods. “I’ve also heard that its seeds can be quite the potent toxin to a particular variety of vermin.”

“Alas, some vermin are too either strong or stubborn to exterminate outright,” Lau lends his voice to the discussion, leaning oer Ciel’s shoulder to flash his own grin at Sebastian. “At the very least, it should render them more docile or nauseous, though!”

Knowing full well that wisteria can be toxic to his kind, Sebastian concedes to his master’s ingenuity and heaves another sigh. While he admires just how jagged Ciel’s jests can be, the wisteria’s strong presence is an affront to his senses.

“Oh, and should any vandalism befall our newest addition,” Ciel adds with a tap of his cane against the tree’s slender trunk. “I have the East India Trading Company on standby for additional orders if necessary.”

Sebastian surrenders with a weary smile and takes the hand dealt to him, intending to make the most of it until his prey is ripe enough for feasting upon. “Very well, my lord.”

“The wisteria’s effects work quickly it seems,” Lau remarks and laughs afterwards, catching a glower for his comment. “Well, about that afternoon tea? I’m famished after the ride over here.”

“Of course,” Ciel agrees and snaps his fingers at his butler. “We’ll have it on the gazebo today, Sebastian.”

Taking a deep bow, Sebastian turns on his heels to head inside and start preparing tea. As he walks into the kitchen, he suddenly remembers the dried witch hazel and belladonna stored in the cellar. A wicked smile alights upon his face and he’s much more like the cheery bastard he normally is as he whistles on his way down to the cellar.

Surely, a pair of young, healthy mortals could handle a slight dosage of their own toxin.

“Ashes, ashes,” he sings in a quiet voice. “We all fall down.”