Title: fuzzy, fizzy, and festive
Fandom: Marvel Comics (West Coast Avengers)
Characters: Team! : Gwen Poole, Kate Bishop, Quentin Quire, Noh-Varr, America Chavez, Clint Barton, Johnny Watts
Length: 575 words
Rating: Teen
Warnings: intoxication
Summary: Gwen’s been drinking, shenanigans occur.




“Welcome True Believers, it’s a brand new year here at the West Coast Avengers Headquarters,” Gwen says as she climbs on top of the kitchen counter, champagne glass in hand. “Oh hey everyone come up here, we should take a picture and use it to send out cards or something.” The champagne glass tips and slowly drips its remaining contents onto the floor. “Like festive family photo thingies that people mail out every year.”

“That’s for Christmas not New Year's, weirdo,” America says. She’s leaning against the doorframe looking both cool and casual at the same time.

“Is she intoxicated?” Noh-Varr asks.

“I’m not drunk, my head just feels fuzzy, deliciously fuzzy.”

Clint shakes his head. “Deliciously fuzzy? What does that even mean?”

“She’s definitely drunk.” Quentin is holding a champagne bottle upside down and nothing comes out. Not even a drop.

“You didn’t drink the whole bottle, did you, Gwen?” Kate asks.

“I like the bubbles, they’re all fizzy.” Gwen slips off the counter, somehow lands on her feet, and takes a bow.

“Oh no,” Kate says. “Are you okay, Gwen?”

“She’s fine, everything’s going to be fine, right Gwen?” Quentin takes a few steps closer and holds out his hands. “Someone brew some coffee, stat.”

“Coffee doesn’t make you sober, Quentin. That’s just a myth.” Gwen pulls a katana out from seemingly nowhere and swishes it around in the air, her other hand still holding the now-empty champagne glass. Quentin takes several steps back and the rest of the team does the same.

Gwen teeters for a moment, steadies herself, and stabs the box of fruity cornflakes that was sitting on the kitchen table.

“God help us all,” Clint mutters.

Kate glares at Quentin. “Do something, Quire.”

“I’m trying,” Quentin insists.

“Well try a little faster,” Kate says.

“What do you want me to do, put her to sleep?”

Clint raises his hand. “I vote yes for Gwen taking a nap.”

“Maybe not with the sword in her hand, we don’t want her falling on it,” Johnny says.

“Speak for yourself,” America says.

“Hey, Gwen, why don’t you put down the big sharp pointy thing and we’ll order a couple of pizzas and some of that cheesy bread you like,” Kate says.

Gwen swings the katana above her head and everyone ducks.

“Perhaps I should get my restraints,” Noh-Varr suggests.

Gwen giggles. “Kinky!” She places the glass down on the counter but doesn’t release her grip on the katana.

“I’ve got, um - official Avengers business to get to? You kids have fun,” Clint says as he turns around and walks out of the room.

“Coward,” Kate calls after him.

“I bet a threesome with space boy and Quentin would do wonders for my popularity. I might even get my own series again.” Gwen does a cartwheel and somehow manages to keep from cutting herself or anyone else.

Noh-Varr looks Quentin up and down appraisingly. “I would not be opposed to this.”

Quentin shrugs. “I’d do you.”

“What the hell is going on here?” Johnny shakes his head.

“This is too much even for me. Sorry, Princess, I’m out of here.” America kicks open a portal and jumps through.

“Wait for me!” Kate grabs Johnny’s hand and follows her best friend. “Sorry Gwen, enjoy your threesome.,” she calls out just before the portal closes.
Kate turns to America. “She’ll be fine, right?”

“I don’t think it’s Gwen you should worry about,” America says.