Title: Worth Dying For
Fandom: Babylon 5
Author: badly_knitted
Characters: Marcus Cole, Susan Ivanova.
Rating: PG
Word Count: 577
Spoilers: Endgame.
Summary: Susan is dying, but Marcus is determined to save her life, even if it means sacrificing his own
Content Notes: None needed.
Written For: Challenge 339: Amnesty, using Challenge 271: Heart.
Disclaimer: I don’t own Babylon 5, or the characters. They belong to J. Michael Straczynski.



Almost from the moment he’d first met her, Marcus had known she was the one. He’d never met a more beautiful woman, and she was spirited, fiery, easily as stubborn and intransigent as he was. The kind of woman who’d keep him on his toes, someone he could match wits with, argue with, and love with an all-consuming passion. Susan Ivanova was the woman he’d remained pure for all these years, the one he’d been waiting his whole life to find.

He’d entertained such hopes, imagined the life they might someday have together, and now all his dreams were nothing but ashes. War was like that, and yet, Susan had always been so vibrantly alive that Marcus had foolishly believed her as unkillable as he thought himself, in his most reckless moments.

But now she’s dying, he can no longer deny that. Not even all the skill of the finest Minbari healers can repair her broken body. At best she has a few more days, immobile and suffering, and yet Marcus cannot, will not, let go, because without her in his life, nothing matters. They’ve never so much as kissed, and he’s only told her he loves her when she’s been asleep or unconscious, unable to hear his heartfelt admission, but it doesn’t matter. As Delenn has said, the heart does what the heart does, and his surrendered itself to Susan without a moment’s hesitation.

He has to believe there’s still some way to save her, to heal her, so he searches for one, basing all his hopes on Lennier’s slight slip of the tongue. If the answer to his hopes and prayers can be found on Babylon 5, he’ll find it.

And after hours of combing Stevens medical files, he does.

An alien device, designed as a means for capital punishment, extracting the life force from one person to heal another. A life for a life.

“It should have been me anyway. I’m the one who should be lying there dying. You are so much more, so much better, than I could ever be, and you’re still needed while I’m not. It’s a fair exchange. I’ve always been willing to lay down my life for you, and now I can. I’ll live on in you, my life force healing and sustaining you, the ultimate melding of two people. It’s such perfect symmetry I could almost cry.”

With those words he hooks them both up to the device, lays his head on the bed beside Susan, and begins the process. It doesn’t hurt, not much, not really. He’s endured so much worse in his time with the Rangers; the beating inflicted on him by Neroon comes to mind. Mostly this is just making him feel tired, weak, drained, which makes sense. His essence, that which makes him alive, is being gradually siphoned out of him and into the woman he loves. It’s not the passionate joining he’s yearned for since they met, but in some ways it’s better. He’s giving her all that he is. She’ll be angry about this, and she’s never more beautiful than when she’s angry, but she’ll always remember him.

What more could a man ever hope for than to become one with the woman he loves in such an intimate and enduring way?

“You and I, together, ‘til death us do part. Don’t mourn for me, not that you would. Live and be happy, Susan. I love you. I have no regrets.”

The End