Title: Swallowed it all and feeling fine
Fandom: New Girl
Rating: PG-13
Length: nigh on 600 words
Content notes: Vague spoilers through "Bully". Apocafic with very little detail given to present violence or threat. Hints at Jess/Cece but otherwise femgen with zombies.
Author notes: N/A
Summary: Five objects they found useful at the end of the world.

1.

"Girls' weekend," Jess shouts, the words ending with a trill as she wiggles against the door of Cece's car, aggressively rubbing her derriere against the passenger side. Cece, hoping to save them some embarrassment (she loves Jess, she really does, but) rolls the window down with a high-pitched whine. Jess tilts, gasps, wobbles, ends on a high note and her tip-toes.

"Get in already, won't you?" Cece scowls, ready to set to the horn if Jess doesn't quit with the theatrics. She's not the only one who's excited.

Jess unlocks the door from the inside and flops onto the seat.

2.

Shelby isn't really sure why she was invited to this little shindig, but she figures there isn't any harm in a wilderness weekend with Winston's friends. Or, the friends of Winston's friend. And Nick's ex. Which isn't awkward at all, apparently?

The point is: camping. Or close to it. Pulling up to the cabin, Shelby realizes that Jess wasn't very forthcoming with the details at all and while she's happy to avoid an outhouse, this place doesn't exactly scream starter log.

Not that many places do.

She lifts her hand in a wave when Jess's face appears in a window.

3.

They wake up to the sound of...

...growling?

"Just outside the window," Jess hisses, scrambling under the pillow for her crocheting needles.

"I could have poked an eye out!" Cece whispers back, too scared to stay silent but genuinely concerned for the disregard Jess holds for her face.

Jess holds up a single finger -- I'll deal with you, and your face, later -- and rips the curtains back revealing an unnerving darkness and just inside of it, the figure of a man. "Shitshitshitshit!" she shrieks, scrambling backwards and grabbing for Cece, who is amazed, again, that she escapes unscathed.

4.

"Oh, this?" Sadie looks up, mildly irritated with the way they're all just staring at her. Aren't there more important things to be doing, like canvassing the cabin or disposing of this... thing? "I've carried this for years."

"Yeah," Julia mouths, her jaw refusing to make the journey closed. "But you were like. Serious." She gestures, thrusting her own fist upwards, sharply to the left, imitating the movement Sadie settled on, instinct and training gutting the decaying intruder before she could shout a warning.

"Pretty serious," Shelby confirms, checking Cece's pulse, though Jess might be more in need of it.

5.

It turns out that Cece is kind of a beast with a shotgun. (They found it, along with shells and powder, over the mantle. "My dad's," Cece said, touching the barrel.) Julia scrambles for the driver's seat, and they pile in.

"This is really not cool," Jess explains, sighing. "Girls' Weekend is practically ruined. I had plans! Pictionary!"

Cece cocks the gun. Locked. Loaded. "This is kinda fun, though. Don't you think?"

Shelby stares her down, her camping supplies fueling the funeral pyre for a growing pile of zombie corpses.

"Okay, okay," Cece concedes, smiling when Jess lunges out the car window, crochet needles in hand, leaving their pursuer with a gash across his forehead.

She finishes him off.

(They regroup, grab Pictionary and the gasoline, packing the trunk with substances and weapons that could normally get them pulled over or worse, and drive South. "I always wanted to go to Mexico," Julia mutters. Sadie puts her knife back in her boot and agrees.)