Title: Realization
Fandom: Critical Role (Campaign 1)
Rating: G
Length: ~ 700 words
Author notes: Written for the prompt Clue. Set during Episode 64: The Frigid Doom after Vox Machina returns from the Feywild.
Summary: After the return from the Feywild Percy figures out some things even though his memories of their time there are gone for a time.



What finally clues him in, is the temporary loss of memory – Vex'ahlia’s furrowed brow while she thinks they are pulling an elaborate prank, which she should know is somewhat beyond Grog at least, then her wide eyes, and her expression turning anguished as she realizes that truly neither Grog nor Percy remembers their trip to the Feywild. Right then Percy can’t put it all together when Keyleth says: “You titled Vex'ahlia.”

Why would she want that? he scoffs. She’s already all she needs to be in his eyes.

But between Scanlan putting the weirdest possible non-memory in his head and between Vex’s still anguished face as she searches for a paper he’d given her to prove that he did indeed give her a title and Keyleth suggesting he look at his sketchbook, things slowly fall into a very weird place.

He’s embarrassed at the idea of Vex finding him in a compromising position with a bunch of nymphs and slightly appalled at himself for trying to bribe her with a title of all things. But the paper says he granted the title of Baroness of the Third House of Whitestone and Grand Mistress of the Grey Hunt and it seems important to her to keep it.

Right then he just blushes and nods as he realizes it’s true and he has lost all memory beyond those nymphs of the Feywild. And while Vex seems to be anguished by the idea that she could have lost the title he has bestowed, she still looks sad somehow now that he remembers his embarrassment.

And that’s how he ends up going through his sketches while everyone else is talking a little too loudly, wondering why there are no notes about nymphs. There are many sketches of Syngorn and there’s a little sad and a sketch of what he knows must be a nervous-looking Vex at the bottom of a page that stands out to him. There’s also a sketch of threshold crests and elves and many interesting things before there’s another Vex, this one smiling radiantly at him from the page. Percy had written “Mistress of the Grey Hunt” right under it.

All clues add up but one – there’s no nymphs, only sketches of Syngorn surrounding that picture of Vex.

And there’s a hint of something else in the sad eyes of Vex’ahlia who is standing close-by watching him.

Finally, it all falls back into place when Pike appears and Percy’s memory of the Feywild returns.

Ah, he thinks, that makes more sense.

He had rarely seen Vex so nervous and insecure, he’d rarely seen her doubt she mattered. But this city that has rejected her and her twin, this father who even now seems unable to show pride in his two oldest children, reveals a side of the usually proud ranger, that makes Percy angry at all of it. The snotty elves and their preconceptions… He knows the type.

He looks at Vex across the table and her eyes are a soft hazel as she watches him – he smiles at her; she smiles back.

He remembers giving her the title not just out of kindness but to make others look at her the way he does, the way she deserves. As part of a ruling family, he understands the power of titles – and their inevitable mask-like meaninglessness. It’s the person who wields power that decides if it’ll be used for good or bad or selfish reasons.

He looks through his sketchbook again later.

Sees the sketches of Vex.

Remembers the different things they’d learned about her through the journey and realizes he wants her to shine, to smile the happy smile whenever possible.

“It was a kind thing you did,” Keyleth says, looking over his shoulder.

“Perhaps it was a selfish thing I did,” he answers, finding he knows his motivations better now than he had before.

Keyleth squeezes his shoulder. “If you mean you wanted to make her happy – then that’s not selfish.”

He ponders that and laughs. No, he realizes it's selfish, giving Vex a reason to smile by tying her firmly to Whitestone. He knows his own thoughts and feelings a little better now, and he knows he hasn’t dreamed of a life beyond revenge. He still isn’t done and Vex deserves better than the darkness that still sometimes lingers in him. But he can make her smile at least…

And even if that is selfish, if it helps Vex stand tall even among people who look down on her, then it's at the very least not doing harm.