Title: What It's Like
Fandom: High Rollers: Aerois campaign
Rating: G
Length: 1734 words
Content notes: Modern/Human AU, Quill/Lucius.
Author notes: For the "crush" challenge. Inspired by a the first prompt of this "friends to lovers ideas" tumblr post.
Summary: Lucius admits to the group that he's never kissed anyone. Quill has an idea.

Quill wasn’t entirely sure how Nova had got onto the topic of her first kiss, which she was excitedly telling all of them about - well, all except Aila, who had got up to mix more cocktails at some point partway through Nova’s ramble. He’d already had a few drinks, and things were becoming somewhat vague. As Nova fell silent at last, Quill looked over at their host. Lucius had been listening to her with an odd, wistful sort of smile, and Quill wondered if he was remembering his own first kiss.

“What about you, Lucius? What was your first kiss like?” he asked.

“Ooh, yes, tell us!” Nova chimed in.

Quill hadn't been quite sure how Lucius would react to that - would he laugh, or blush, or look thoughtful? He did blush a little, but not in the embarrassed-but-pleased way Quill had thought he might, he just looked… ashamed?

“It… wasn’t,” Lucius said, looking down at the floor. “I’ve never kissed anyone.”

“Oh - sorry - I - ” Quill stammered, while Nova also started to babble an apology. He wished the floor Lucius was still staring at would open up and swallow him. Why had he ever thought of asking that?

“That’s all right, Lucius, you don’t have to ever kiss anyone if you don’t want to!” Sentry said - stepping in to save the situation, Quill knew, bless her. “I haven’t kissed anyone either, and I don’t want to.”

Lucius looked up and smiled at her. “Thanks, Sentry. I do want to sometime, but… I spent pretty much all my adolescence at boarding school, and I wasn’t what you’d call wildly popular,” he said with a snort.

Quill - who was fairly certain, from small things Lucius had let slip, that that was an extreme understatement for years he’d spent being bullied - winced, hating himself for reminding Lucius of that time.

“Anyway,” Lucius went on, “since leaving school it’s just been one thing after another - I started uni, I met all of you, there was the fire at home and Mummy and Daddy moving to New Zealand… I haven’t had any time for dating, really!”

He sounded light and breezy, as if he didn’t care one way or the other, but Quill wasn’t convinced. Before he could say anything, though, Aila interrupted.

“Okay, Rusty Nails for everyone - don’t look at me like that, Lucius, there aren’t actually rusty nails in it!” she said, placing a tray on the table and handing glasses out.

“If you say so,” Lucius replied, looking at his drink dubiously. He took a careful sip, then looked back at her. “This is great, Aila!”

“No need to sound so surprised,” Aila teased him, as she dropped back into her armchair. “Shall we have another round of cards?”

Ignoring everyone’s protests that they were too drunk to play, Aila began to shuffle the pack, and the conversation dropped. Quill didn’t forget it, though. He hadn’t meant to hurt or embarrass Lucius, but he knew he had, and he wouldn’t be happy with himself until he’d apologised. He just needed to find a moment to do so privately, without embarrassing him yet again.

An hour later - or maybe two? Quill had lost track of time by now - he found his chance. It was an astonishingly mild night, and Lucius had stepped out onto his balcony for a moment. Quill glanced over at the girls. Everyone was beginning to get hungry, and Nova had announced she’d make snacks, which had led to Aila and Nova now arguing about some recipe (as far as Quill could tell, Aila wanted to add whisky to it but Nova was unconvinced) - that would probably keep them busy for a while. Sentry was hovering anxiously around them, presumably to make sure Lucius’s kitchen didn’t end up on fire, and the balcony made her nervous in any case. No one was paying any attention to him or Lucius. Perfect. Before he could lose his nerve, he slipped out onto the balcony too, walking over to Lucius and leaning on the railing next to him.

“Hey, Birdie,” Lucius said, turning to smile at him.

“Hey,” Quill replied, smiling back. “Are you all right?”

“Oh yes, I’m fine, I just wanted some air. And look at the stars! Aren’t they lovely?”

“Lovely,” Quill agreed, looking less at the sky than at Lucius. “Lucius, I - I wanted to apologise. I - I’m sorry I asked that, about your first - first kiss - I didn’t mean to embarrass or, or upset you!”

“It’s fine!” Lucius said. “I know you didn’t mean to. And it was silly of me to be embarrassed about it, anyway. You’re my best friends, if I can’t talk to you about things like that, who can I talk to?”

“Well, I’m still sorry. I shouldn’t - shouldn’t have asked.”

“It’s fine, Quill, really,” Lucius told him, reaching out to squeeze his arm. “What about you? What was your first kiss like?”

“Oh!” Quill thought back. “It was a girl from school - Aur, she was called. I asked her to a school disco, and we kissed after it… It was kind of awkward, honestly,” he admitted with a laugh. “We went on a couple of dates, but it didn’t last long… The first guy I kissed was about a year later, I think? He was called Salleek, we were in the same Scout troop. That was a bit more serious, but we drifted apart eventually.”

“Sounds like you were a bit of a heartthrob in those days,” Lucius said with a chuckle. Then, clearly worried he’d accidentally insulted Quill, he rapidly added, “Not that you’re not attractive now - you’re very handsome - I mean - what did Aila put in those drinkies?” he wound up, blushing brightly.

Quill laughed. “Whisky. Lots and lots of whisky. And - thank you, I appreciate the compliment,” he said, beginning to blush himself. Lucius was just being polite, surely, it didn’t mean anything… “I don’t know about heartthrob, I was just - just more confident then, I think, before…” he trailed off, gesturing at his prosthetic arm. Then, annoyed at himself for that moment of self-pity, he quickly said, “Anyway, I’m sure you’ll find someone you want to kiss soon!”

Lucius gave him a thoughtful look at the mention of his arm, but didn’t push it. “I worry sometimes, you know. You said your first kiss was awkward; I worry that I’ll be bad at it through having no experience, and ruin things. Or that… whoever it is… will think it’s weird.”

“It’s not weird, and I’m sure you won’t ruin things. Anyone who’s even half good enough for you will understand,” Quill said softly. His throat felt tight at the thought of some idiot making Lucius upset about this.

“Well… maybe you’re right. You’re so smart.”

Lucius still looked doubtful, though, and Quill was struck with an idea. Probably a terrible idea. Undoubtedly a terrible idea, the sort of idea he wouldn’t contemplate for even a second if he was even half as smart and wise as Lucius liked to call him. Unfortunately, he seemed to have lost any shred of intelligence and wisdom several drinks ago.

“I could - could kiss you, if - if you want. Just - just to show you what it - what it’s like,” he offered, trying to sound nonchalant and sure he was failing horribly.

Lucius stared at him, wide-eyed, for a moment. Then, just as Quill was beginning to contemplate several possibilities such as laughing it off as a joke, or running away and pretending not to remember anything tomorrow, or faking his own death - and refusing to contemplate others such as actually acknowledging his feelings - he said, “Okay. Yes.”

“Oh - okay - great -” Quill cut himself off, afraid he'd give too much away if he said anything more.

“What should I do?” Lucius asked shyly.

Quill pulled himself together. He had to do this right, for Lucius. “Just… just follow my lead.”

Lucius was still leaning on the balcony railing, so he wasn't towering over Quill for once. Taking a deep breath, Quill stepped closer. Lucius was still looking at him, odd-coloured eyes still wide, and it was overwhelming.

“Close your eyes,” Quill murmured.

“Oh! Of course, silly me,” Lucius replied, doing as he said, and Quill tried to take comfort in the hint of high-pitched nerves in his voice. “Better?”

It was both better and worse. Better, because Quill no longer needed to be afraid his feelings would show so evidently on his face that Lucius would notice them. Worse, because Lucius trusted him enough to be so vulnerable with him… If he kept thinking about it he wouldn't do it, Quill realised, and Lucius would be so, so hurt.

Without giving himself any longer to think about it, Quill leaned forward, pressing his lips to Lucius's, his own eyes closing. Gently, gently, this was no place to go too fast. Even then, Lucius breathed in sharply at the first touch. Slowly, Quill increased the pressure just a little, feeling Lucius hesitantly respond in kind. Then Quill shifted slightly, ever so gently catching Lucius's bottom lip between his own before pulling away. Not far - as soon as he made to move back, Lucius reached out to cup his cheek, and how could Quill resist? He couldn't, he kissed him again. Lucius was already less hesitant, moving a little instead of standing frozen, tugging at Quill's lower lip just as Quill had done to him. At last, Quill pulled away again, resting his forehead against Lucius's.

“You know,” Lucius said softly, eyes still closed, “I always hoped my first kiss would be with someone I really cared for.”

Quill's heart felt like a stone in his chest. Was Lucius regretting this already? He should say something funny, make light of the whole situation, tell him it didn't really count or something. He should do that.

He couldn't. “Will - will someone who cares very much for you do instead?”

“Oh, Quill! Really?” Lucius asked, opening his eyes at last and looking at him with - delight? It couldn't be, but Quill couldn't make any other sense of it. Then he frowned. “Wait, what do you mean, instead?”

“You - you said -” Quill began, but Lucius cut him off.

“Quill… Why do you think I said yes?”

Quill frowned over that for a second, then the realisation finally hit him. “Really, Lucius?” he whispered.

“Really, silly Birdie,” Lucius said fondly - and kissed him again.