Title: From Elsinore to Verona (and back again)
Fandom: Hamlet/Romeo & Juliet
Rating: G
Length: 546
Summary: Claudius has come up with an excellent way to get rid of Hamlet for a month.
Note: I do not share Lady Montague's views

"Excellent," Claudius said, looking up from the letter he was reading.  “I believe I have the solution to what we’re going to do about Hamlet.”

“I hope it’s nothing too extreme,” Gertrude replied.  “I know he’s behaving strangely, but he is still mourning his father.”

Claudius sighed.  “He’s simply enjoying being the centre of attention.  He needs to get out and about more, and this will ensure he does.  Lord Montague has agreed that Hamlet can go and stay with them for a month in Verona, which will give Hamlet something entirely different to do, together with lots of sunshine, which should help to brighten his mood.”

“And in return?” Gertrude asked dubiously.

“We have their son Romeo, for the following month.  Montague is keen to get him away from some of his disreputable companions, plus an entirely unsuitable girlfriend.  I can see no problem there.”

“There’s always Rosencrantz and Guildenstern.  Lord Montague may not approve of them.”

“That pair are incompetent and a waste of space, but not what you’d term disreputable.”

“And what about Ophelia?”

“She’s not disreputable!”

“No, I was thinking more in the line of unsuitable girlfriend,” Gertrude said.

“Is she actually Hamlet’s girlfriend?  It’s really hard to tell with that pair.  And she’s suitable in her own way.  Anyway, that’s irrelevant.  Polonius is going on a tour of Italy for the next couple of months and taking Ophelia with him, so she won’t be here.”

“I suppose in that case, it’s worth a try.  After all, what could possibly go wrong?”

***

To Gertrude, Queen of Denmark,

Madam,

I thought it best to write to you, before word reaches you from another source, so you may have the facts before you.

We received your son, who we understood to be a reserved, scholarly young man cordially.  And indeed, for the first few days, things seemed to be going well.  Romeo took Hamlet to see the sites and seemed to be ignoring his old companions.  The two seemed to be getting on very well together – rather too well as we were subsequently to discover.

Then Polonius, who I believe you know, and his family, arrived in Verona and at the same time Prince Escalus arranged a ball, to which we were all invited.  As were the Capulets, which meant that their daughter Juliet would be present.  This could have been managed, but unfortunately matters did not go in a way we expected at all.

Part way through the ball we realised Hamlet and Romeo were dancing together.  They might have been discretely ushered out, had not Laertes challenged Hamlet, on behalf of his sister, Ophelia.  At the same time, Tybalt, Juliet’s cousin, challenged Romeo.  Insults were exchanged and duels threatened.

While all this was happening, Juliet and Ophelia took the opportunity to run away together, aided by one of the friars.  Such things may happen in Elsinore, but do not have a place in Verona.

We returned to our house, bringing both young men with us.  We had intended on sending Hamlet back to you the following morning, under armed guard if necessary, but in the night, he and Romeo left the house and have not been seen since.

I trust, madam, you understand my extreme displeasure at this situation.

Bianca, Lady Montague