Title: An Honorable Confession
Fandom: Modao Zushi
Pairing: Lan Xichen/Nie Mingjue
Rating: PG-13
Length: 1,484
Content notes: claustrophobia and a discussion about dying/death.
Author notes: written for Amnesty #54 - Challenge: Trapped
Summary: “There’s something else I should tell you,” Nie Mingjue admits.

Maybe the most important thing. Nie Mingjue has always prided himself on speaking his mind, but there is one secret he’s kept from Lan Xichen since they became friends.

*

Nie Mingjue never thought he’d die like this.





Nie Mingjue never thought he’d die like this.

He’d imagined his death would be an honorable one: maybe fighting to defend Huaisang, maybe rescuing Huaisang from trouble, maybe being poisoned by paint fumes after Huaisang created one of his fans and forgot to open the apartment windows. He thought his demise would indirectly come at the hands of his brother—whom he loves very much, of course, even though he does entertain throwing Huaisang into a lake sometimes—and not…

“Yes, hello, Lan Xichen here,” Lan Xichen speaks into the elevator interphone, his fingers pressed to the emergency button. “The elevator is stuck between the sixth and seventh floors.”

They are trapped.

Trapped.

In an elevator.

Nie Mingjue does his very best to press his back to the cold metal wall of the elevator and hold still. Maybe if he closes his eyes and refuses to move, he will be able to pretend this isn’t happening.

Nie Mingjue avoids small spaces and elevators at all costs, when he can, but he’s never had any issues using the elevators at Lan Xichen’s fancy office building when he’s visiting Lan Xichen. The Cloud Recesses, the Lan family publishing house, is a modern and sleek building with the best technology has to offer.

And they’re trapped in one of its elevators.

“We will call for maintenance right away, sir,” a man replies. “Are you by yourself?”

“No, I am with a friend,” Lan Xichen answers. He sneaks a glance to Nie Mingjue, his usually serene expression shifting into concern. “It would be best if this issue was resolved quickly.”

“Of course, of course, right away, sir.”

Lan Xichen moves away from the elevator panel and to Nie Mingjue. “Mingjue?”

“Yes?” Nie Mingjue says, voice gruff.

“Are you okay?”

“Yes.” Nie Mingjue swallows hard. “Why would you think otherwise?”

“You are sweating.”

“It’s hot in here.”

“Your eyes are closed.”

Nie Mingjue opens one eye and focuses on Lan Xichen. He’s smiling kindly at Nie Mingjue, though concern is clear in his gaze. “Not anymore,” Nie Mingjue says.

Lan Xichen’s smile widens only an inch. “It’s me,” he says. “You don’t have to hide from me.”

Nie Mingjue’s heart constricts in his chest. He knows that, has known ever since he and Lan Xichen met five years ago after Huaisang decided to throw a party at their house for his coworkers and Lan Xichen showed up. Nie Mingjue remembers his surprise at seeing Lan Xichen, thinking it weird—but also very nice—that someone with such high standing in the company would come to a party thrown by one of the assistant editors. And yet Lan Xichen had been there with a soft smile and a surprisingly low alcohol tolerance.

That’s how their friendship started, really: with Nie Mingjue stopping a drunk Lan Xichen from smuggling one of Huaisang’s birds into his coat so he could take it home with him.

Nie Mingjue takes a deep breath and says, “You have to promise me you’ll take care of Huaisang.”

Lan Xichen’s mouth parts in surprise. “What?”

“I love my brother, but you know what he’s like,” Nie Mingjue continues. “You have to promise me you’ll make sure he’s okay.”

“Mingjue—”

“Promise me.”

“Of course I promise.” Lan Xichen frowns. “I don’t understand why you’re asking me.”

Nie Mingjue raises a hand and wraps it around one of Lan Xichen’s wrists. He can feel the steady beat of Lan Xichen’s pulse under his palm. “I’m going to die,” he says.

Lan Xichen startles so hard he flinches back before leaning forward into Nie Mingjue’s space, bringing his free hand to clutch at the front of Nie Mingjue’s shirt. “What?”

“I’m going to die,” Nie Mingjue repeats. “That’s what’s going to happen.”

“Are you sick?” Lan Xichen asks in a shaky voice, eyes searching Nie Mingjue’s face.

“I’m not sick.” Nie Mingjue shakes his head. “I’m trapped.”

Lan Xichen stills. “What.”

“I’m trapped. We’re trapped.”

“I—”

“In a very small space,” Nie Mingjue continues, throat clicking when he swallows. “I don’t like small spaces.”

Lan Xichen blinks several times. “So you think that… because we’re trapped… you’re going to die?”

Nie Mingjue nods. “I can feel my heart,” he gestures to his ear, “here.”

“Mingjue,” Lan Xichen murmurs. He loosens his grip on Nie Mingjue’s shirt and rests his hand flat on Nie Mingjue’s chest. “Your heart is beating very fast.”

Nie Mingjue nods, glad that Lan Xichen understands. “It’s because I’m going to die.”

Lan Xichen lets out a small huff and digs his fingers into Nie Mingjue’s pec. “You’re not going to die.”

Nie Mingjue smiles at Lan Xichen. “You were always the hopeful one out of the two of us.”

“We’re going to get out of here alive, both of us,” Lan Xichen reassures him. “I promise.”

“You shouldn’t make promises you can’t keep.”

“I can keep this one,” Lan Xichen says, stubborn. “The Cloud Recess is very proud of its facilities. An elevator issue will be solved in no time and, after that, we will make sure it never happens again.”

Nie Mingjue lets go of Lan Xichen’s wrist so he can grab Lan Xichen’s hand and give it a squeeze. “I promise Huaisang won’t sue you because of my death.”

“Mingjue,” Lan Xichen says in a puff of air. He’s sounding a little exasperated now.

“There’s something else I should tell you,” Nie Mingjue admits.

Maybe the most important thing. Nie Mingjue has always prided himself on speaking his mind, but there is one secret he’s kept from Lan Xichen since they became friends. Now that he’s surely going to die, it’s time for him to come clean.

“Yes?” Lan Xichen prompts. He still has his free hand on Nie Mingjue’s chest. Nie Mingjue covers it with his own.

It’s better if he just says it, right?

Be brave.

Confess.

So Nie Mingjue does.

“I’m in love with you,” Nie Mingjue tells his best friend, committing to memory the way Lan Xichen’s face goes slack and his eyes widen. “I have been since you woke up in my apartment after Huaisang’s party, hangover as hell, and insisted on cooking me breakfast as an apology for trying to steal one of Huaisang’s birds.”

Lan Xichen makes a tiny choked up sound in the back of his throat.

“I didn’t want to say anything out of fear of ruining our friendship,” Nie Mingjue continues, “but I also don’t want to die without you knowing how I feel. I love you, Xichen.”

Lan Xichen’s cheeks are pink. “Mingjue, I—”

The elevator jolts. Nie Mingjue pulls Lan Xichen to him and wraps his arms around him before he turns them around and presses Lan Xichen against the elevator wall, doing his best to cover Lan Xichen with his body. At least this way Nie Mingjue will go knowing he did everything he could to protect Lan Xichen.

Nie Mingjue lets out a heavy breath and feels Lan Xichen shiver in his arms.

This is an honorable death, after all.

“Sirs, the elevator is back in service,” the same man who spoke to Lan Xichen before says. “It will take you to your desired floor in seconds. We apologize for the inconvenience.”

There’s a buzzing in Nie Mingjue’s ears. He’s suddenly hyper aware of Lan Xichen’s body pressed against his, Lan Xichen’s breath against the skin of his neck, Lan Xichen’s hands clutching at his hips.

Nie Mingjue blinks. “Oh.”

Lan Xichen pulls in a sharp breath and turns his head. His nose bumps against Nie Mingjue’s cheek. “Mingjue.”

Nie Mingjue stands very still for one second before pulling back just enough so he stare down at Lan Xichen’s face.

Lan Xichen’s cheeks are still pink. He’s smiling. Nie Mingjue blinks at him when he feels Lan Xichen’s hold on his hips tighten.

“I love you too,” Lan Xichen says.

Nie Mingjue’s entire body warms. “Am I dead?” he asks. “Did I die?”

Lan Xichen laughs and rests their foreheads together. “You’re not dead.”

“So you really told me you love me?”

“And you told me you love me,” Lan Xichen confirms.

“Huh.” Nie Mingjue didn’t see this coming. “I didn’t see this coming.”

“What about this?” Lan Xichen asks and then closes the distance between them and plants a kiss on Nie Mingjue’s mouth.

“No,” Nie Mingjue murmurs when Lan Xichen pulls away. “I didn’t see this coming either.”

Lan Xichen laughs, but Nie Mingjue quickly muffles that sound by kissing him again. They’re still at it when the elevator dings as it arrives on the tenth floor and the doors slide open.

Not that it matters.

Not when Nie Mingjue can push a button to slide the doors closed so he can keep kissing Lan Xichen.

Maybe being trapped isn’t the worst thing, in the end.