Title: The Trip to Madrid
Fandom: Sherlock (BBC)
Rating: G
Length: 534
Summary: Seb and Jim are visiting the Royal Palace in Madrid.

Sebastian Moran quite liked Madrid.  Although he thought he preferred Barcelona, or even Valencia, rather than being so far inland.  And there weren’t the really old buildings he’d seen when travelling with Jim Moriarty to other cities in Europe.  However, he supposed whether or not he liked a place wasn’t really of importance, since they were there on one of Jim’s ‘shopping’ expeditions. 

They were currently visiting the Royal Palace.  Jim had expressed an interest in acquiring something in gold and Seb had pointed out some rather flamboyant pieces, but Jim had declared them too ostentatious.  Seb had been of the opinion that if you’d got it, you should flaunt it.  Jim had pointed out that Seb had a very recent state of the art sniper’s rifle, which he certainly shouldn’t be flaunting.  Seb thought that was probably different but couldn’t quite work out why.

Suddenly, Jim picked up his pace, and Seb, who had been looking at some dark red velvet chairs and wondering whether they would suit Jim’s apartment, had to hurry to catch up with him.

“Now, this is the exhibition I was looking forward to,” Jim said.

Seb looked at the description, which said The Other Court.  “But it’s about monasteries and nuns,” he protested.  “There’ll be nothing there worth seeing.”

“Ah, but various queens have been involved with these monasteries.  And where there are Hapsburg queens…”

“I thought we met the Hapsburgs in Austria.”

“We did, but I’m not going to explain the complicated European monarchy to you at the moment,” Jim replied.  He mentally added, ‘or ever’.  He still regretted telling Seb that George I of England came from Germany.  Especially as this had resulted in Seb’s singing ‘You’ll Be Back’ from Hamilton.  Jim later realised Seb thought there were two King George’s, one of whom covered the whole of the eighteenth century and into the nineteenth, and the other was the king between Victoria and Elizabeth, and therefore on the throne for both world wars. 

So he hurriedly said, “And queens give valuable gifts to monasteries.”

Fortunately, Seb nodded and they were able to enter the exhibition without any further questions.

They walked slowly through the rooms, Jim consulting the booklet he had bought, while Seb looked at the articles and occasionally said, “That’s pretty.”

In the third room, Jim stopped and looked at a gold chalice decorated with coral, which had originally come from Sicily.  “I quite like that,” he said.

“Just say the word, Boss,” Seb replied.

“I’ll keep looking for the moment.  As William Morris says…”

“Do I know him?”

“No!  Morris said that an item should be both beautiful and useful, and that chalice is beautiful, but I wouldn’t really have a use for it.”

“Fair enough.”

“Now that,” Jim pointed to a small tortoiseshell and gold casket, “fulfils both roles.  Ready, Seb?”

“Ready!”

By now, they had perfected the technique of distract and grab, and by the time the guards were aware that anything was missing from the exhibition, Jim and Seb had strolled out of the Royal Palace and were sitting, drinking coffee in a neighbouring café enjoying a grandstand view of the security services trying to locate the stolen casket.