Fandom: Torchwood

Characters: Ianto, Yvonne Hartman

Author: m_findlow

Rating: PG

Length: 1,160 words

Content notes: Major spoilers for Big Finish audioplay "Torchwood One - Before the fall"

Author notes: Written for Challenge 321 - Amnesty & Challenge 17 - Win or lose

Summary: Ianto is brooding over his love life in the aftermath.

'You're brooding again,' Yvonne said in no uncertain terms.

Ianto looked up from the indistinct swirling pattern the milk froth made over the top of his cappuccino and sighed. He hadn't managed a proper fern leaf in days. 'Sorry. You're right.'

'You're thinking about Rachel again, aren't you?' Yvonne folded her arms across her chest. 'You could always ask her out. I know that you two were-'

'Please don't say it,' he begged her. He didn't want to be reminded about the time they'd spent together and what they'd gotten up to after hours.

She'd seemed so nice at the time. Now he knew that all she'd really wanted was to get him on her side so that he'd be too blind to see what she was really up to. That wasn't how Torchwood agents were supposed to act. He'd thrown professional skepticism out the window for a couple of nights of shagging. The worst part was that it hadn't even lasted. They'd just sort of… stopped. It was a bit hard to carry on after Rachel had moved up to being leader of Torchwood and all. Dating the boss just didn't seem appropriate. He was, for all the special projects and assignments, still just a cogwheel in the great big machine that was Torchwood. He still had lunch with Guleraana and Dave and Pippa where they gossiped and talked rubbish. God, poor Pippa. He still felt awful about that. Where in her bloody horoscope had it said “go out with your mates on Torchwood's away day and you'll end up dead”?

Ianto stared back down into his coffee. 'I wish I didn't have to look her in the face and lie all the time.'

'She's an asset, Ianto. Torchwood doesn't throw away valuable assets. You know that.'

Death or retcon. The old adage came back to him once more. That was how it always was. You either left Torchwood in a pine box or… well, he'd seen what the alternative was now. He and Yvonne were the only two left now who remembered how it had really been. Everyone else had been given a light sprinkling of retcon in their celebratory champagne. Just enough to erase two months worth of memories. Enough to wipe out Rachel Allen as if she'd never existed. Except that she did, only now she was the newbie around Torchwood once more. A harmless, slightly clumsy girl from Hull who was easy to like simply because she was so completely harmless.

If only they knew. She'd tried to take over Torchwood - no, succeeded in taking over Torchwood, Ianto reminded himself - to use it to start a war with the alien race that had accidentally killed her father. The whole thing had been masterfully executed. Start at the bottom, win over the grumpiest thorn in everybody's side, stitch him up for a relapse in his alcoholism and then keep moving on up. Frame the head of Torchwood for the murder of a key employee and the sabotage of alien enhanced technology, take over as leader and then turn Torchwood into a military stronghold, ready to wage war against their alien enemies.

Right before the very end he'd seen the malice in her eyes. She wasn't just going to stop there. She'd wipe them all out. One by one. Assuming one of those alien races didn't put up a decent fight and wipe out planet Earth first. She'd needed stopping and the only one who could do that was him. Well, him helping Yvonne to restore Torchwood to what it had been. He hadn't really done all that much, just facilitated Yvonne's plans. She really was a remarkably resourceful woman. Ambitious, yes. Slightly egomaniacal, sure. Looked good in a Saville Row suit, always. But she was here to protect Earth, not to go picking a fight they might not win.

Now Torchwood was back on track, not trying to instigate all out war with the galaxy, just doing its bit to protect their little patch of the galaxy. Why then did he feel so guilty about it all?

'You won't pierce the memory layer we inserted, if that's what you're worried about,' Yvonne said. 'The deep retconning went rather well. And let's be honest, even if it hadn't, I doubt you were so spectacular in bed that it's likely to trigger an old memory and turn her back into a vengeful psychopath.'

'Thanks.'

'This is what we do, Ianto. Now isn't the time for getting squeamish. We're through the worst of it. Rachel's happy, Torchwood is back under the control of someone who had its best interests at heart… everybody wins. I'm even prepared to let your promotion stand. I think we can safely say you've earned it.'

He twirled the cup around on the desk, as if trying to divine meaning out of the froth by viewing it from a different angle. 'I think I preferred it when I was just your executive assistant.'

'Oh, tut. You're wasted on answering phones and taking memos. You're my eyes and ears around here. Everybody likes you. You're my man Friday, Ianto.'

'I think maybe I should just stay out of Rachel's way, in any case.'

Yvonne patted him non-committally on the shoulder. 'Probably for the best. And you know, Lisa's down in Acquisitions these days. I could put in a good word for you, if you like. I know you two haven't really hit it off, but I think you'd make a nice couple. Since you seem to be sworn off Rachel now.'

Ianto huffed. 'Can we please stop talking about Rachel?' Things would have been so much easier if she'd just been sent away to go and live her life somewhere else. Instead he had to smile and wish her a good morning every day, knowing what had happened and what she'd done. Perhaps she wasn't that person anymore because the memories that had driven her to do what she'd done no longer existed, but he couldn't shake those memories himself. Perhaps it would have been better if he'd accepted retcon along with everyone else. But no, he wouldn't. People like Pippa didn't deserve to be forgotten, no matter what the circumstances.

'One little relationship with a secretly psychopathic woman goes tits up and you're ready the throw in the towel.'

Ianto threw a murderous look at her.

Yvonne threw her hands up. 'Alright! Henceforth we shan't discuss Rachel Allen except in a purely professional capacity.'

He let out a little sigh of relief. 'Thank you. I think life would be a lot easier without any Torchwood relationships.'

'Oh, nonsense.' She waved off his negative outlook. 'One little date. Lisa isn't nearly as ambitious. You'd make a nice fit.'

'Really, Yvonne. I don't think-'

'I'll make it an order if you like. I might even team you up to supervise one of their little projects.' She beamed at him. 'Come on, what have you got to lose?'