Title: Prize-worthy
Fandom: Torchwood
Author: badly_knitted
Characters: Ianto, Jack, Owen, Gwen.
Rating: G
Word Count: 763
Spoilers: Nada.
Summary: Gwen and Owen are not quite themselves, and Jack takes advantage of the situation.
Content Notes: None needed.
Written For: Challenge 316: Prize.
Disclaimer: I don’t own Torchwood, or the characters.



Unfortunate things can happen to the people who work for Torchwood. These days, under Jack’s management, it’s not quite as bad as it used to be; at least in some ways it’s not. The employee death rate has gone way down and life expectancy has gone up to the point where Torchwood now has a pension plan.

Things still happen, that’s sort of Torchwood’s unofficial motto; they’re just usually not fatal, or permanent, although some take longer to remedy than others. Torchwood agents just have to accept that there will inevitably be times when they’re… not quite themselves. Being confined to the Hub for the duration is not uncommon, and neither is being locked in one of the cells, or kept in a tank or cage of some description. It’s a matter of safety, usually that of the afflicted. No one wants to get accidentally stepped on, or eaten by Myfanwy.

At present both Owen and Gwen have been affected, which is bad because it puts the team two agents down, not to mention without a medic. Still, life goes on, work has to continue, and with the expanded team they’re not as understaffed as they would have been back when Torchwood Three was only five people trying to deal with everything the Rift spat out.

Unfortunately for Ianto, Jack is out somewhere and not answering his phone, while Owen and Gwen are unaccountably no longer in the cage where Ianto put them while Tosh tries to figure out how to turn them back into themselves. When he went to check on them he found the cage door hanging open, and despite scanning every area of the Hub he‘s able to, he’s not picking up any trace of them. The only good thing is that Myf is locked in her aerie at present so she’s not responsible for their disappearance. That’s not absolute proof that they haven’t been eaten, there are other creature around the Hub, but the odds are in favour of them both still being among the living. Somewhere.

It’s a huge relief when Jack finally answers his phone.

“Ianto! What’s up?”

“I’ve lost Owen and Gwen!”

“No you haven’t, they’re fine; they’re with me.”

“With you? You took them out of here in their condition? Are you insane?”

“Calm down, we’ll be back soon and I’ll explain everything then. Gotta go; the judges are about to announce the winners.”

“Judges? What’re you on about?” But it’s too late; Jack has already hung up.

An hour and a half later, Jack comes breezing in from the underground garage, carrying two shiny black painted cages with clean white interiors, containing the missing members of the Torchwood team. Jack is beaming happily from ear to ear, and coloured rosettes are fluttering from the cages. Ianto ignores them for the moment in favour of glaring at his errant lover.

“Where the hell have you been?”

“Hello to you too, gorgeous! Look at this!” Jack holds up the ribbon-bedecked cages. “Owen took first in his class and just got pipped for best in show. Gwen got a third place and an honourable mention.”

Ianto looks at the two budgies that are normally his teammates, one a large, handsome blue and white pied, the other a pretty yellow lutino.

“You took them to a bird show?”

“I’ve been a member of the Newtown Cage Bird Society for years; used to show zebra finches back in the Seventies. When I remembered the annual show was today… Well, seemed like fate. Besides, it did Owen and Gwen good to see and hear other birds; they’ve been looking a bit fed up the last couple of days so I picked up a few things for them at the show, some different seed, millet, iodine blocks, and cuttlefish. Got to keep them in good shape until Tosh can fix the device that changed them.”

“Why didn’t you tell me? I’ve been worrying myself silly half the day!”

Jack shrugged. “I thought if I told you what I wanted to do you wouldn’t let me. Here, you take them now while I get their seed and Owen’s trophy from the car. It’s only a little one, but he won it fair and square.”

Ianto isn’t too sure how their medic, once he’s back to his normal self, will take knowing he’s been a prize-winning budgie at a bird show, but he suspects Jack mostly wants the rosettes and trophy for his own collection of prizes and awards. With his competitive streak he’d enter every contest he could if Ianto let him!


The End