Fandom: Torchwood

Characters: Rhys, Gwen, Jack, Ianto

Author: m_findlow

Rating: M

Length: 3,000 words

Content notes: Warnings for slightly kinky, slightly cracky themes

Author notes: Written for Challenge 314 - Nightmare

Summary: Rhys hasn't quite adjusted to working for Torchwood.


Rhys looked up from the mountain of paperwork on his desk with a small amount of relief. The cogwheel door lights flashed and rung out its alarms, signalling the return of the team. He’d been worried but not overly so. They were extremely capable. There just weren’t real good at keeping him in the loop and letting him know they were okay.

'You’re back I see,' he remarked, giving all three of them the once over with his eye, looking for signs of injury. Apart from a little dirt here and there they all appeared to be fine. Even Jack looked like he’d managed not to get himself killed. Seeing him arrive in various states of blood covered mess was becoming the norm, even if it meant more work for Rhys. The bloody dry cleaners were getting to know him on a first name basis these days.

'We’re back,' Jack confirmed, delivering a trademark smile. 'Another vicious alien bites the dust, thanks to some very amazing teamwork.' He grabbed Gwen and pecked her on the cheek, rather too close to her lips for Rhys’ liking and then gave Ianto the same treatment. 'The body is in the back of the SUV ready to be incinerated. No need for an autopsy on this one.'

'You make it sound boring,' Rhys observed.

'Oh, it was touch and go there for a while,' Jack confirmed. 'We almost didn’t make it out of there alive. Of course, I can’t remember all of it, not after getting whacked in the head, but it was that or let it lop off Gwen’s.'

'You always have to step in front of someone and play the hero, don’t you?' Gwen said. 'Not that I don’t appreciate it. I promise to make it up to you. And as for you,' she said, turning to Ianto. 'You were so brave, facing down that thing with only your handgun. It was very sexy.' Gwen wrapped an arm around his neck and drew him in for a kiss which Ianto happily obliged.

'Oi!' Rhys yelled, face filling with unspoken fury.

'Oh, don’t be such a prude,' Gwen scolded. 'You’d think we were having victory sex right in front of you.'

'That comes later,' Jack promised. 'I think we’ve earned it. Nothing says a job well done like a bit of threesome action.'

Rhys was almost speechless. 'You and Gwen and Ianto?'

Gwen frowned at him. 'You make it sound like this is something new. I know you’ve only been here a year but still...'

Jack added his own frown. 'Rhys, are you sure you’re feeling okay?'

Rhys sputtered. 'Me? You’ve got the cheek to ask me if I’m feeling alright?' He pointed angrily at Ianto. 'I’m not the one snogging someone else’s wife.'

Jack burst out laughing. 'Wow. Now that’s a faux pas if ever I heard one! Freud would have an absolute field day with you.'

Gwen reached out a placating hand on his arm. 'Oh, Rhys. It was only a couple of dates. I thought we talked about this and were okay. It was lovely, don’t get me wrong, but I just don’t think you and me are, well... right for each other. I mean, I’m flattered that you would fancy me enough to want to marry me, but let’s be sensible about this. We’re just friends. Good friends. The best.'

If Rhys' jaw could have dropped all the way to the floor it would have. How could she say that? A few dates? Not married? What the hell was going on?

Jack gave Rhys a sympathetic smile. 'There's only one married couple around here.' He wrapped his arm around Ianto’s waist. 'Isn’t that right?'

Ianto beamed back at him. 'Very happily I might add.'

'What, you two? Since when?'

'Coming up five years in May,' Jack said, beaming with pride. 'Have you been living under a rock all this time?' Then he shrugged. 'I suppose we don’t wear our rings very often. Don’t want anything to happen to them out in the field.' He squeezed Ianto a little closer. 'Do you think we should tell them now?'

Ianto wrapped his own arms around Jack, resting one protectively on Jack’s belly. 'Not going to be able to hide it much longer. There’s already a bit of a bump happening here. Gwen I’m amazed you haven’t noticed it yet.'

'We’re having a baby!' Jack announced. He looked across at Gwen. 'And yes, before you ask, it’s definitely Ianto’s. There’s a whole other kind of sex to make this happen. Not that we need to stop having all the other kinds,' he added, leaving the door open. 'I mean, if you decide you’re still interested in starting a family of your own. Ianto and I are more than happy to help.'

Gwen closed the gap between them and kissed Jack, before turning and kissing Ianto. 'Congratulations! That’s wonderful news. A baby. Rhys, isn’t that wonderful?'

'Aye. Bloody brilliant,' he muttered without much enthusiasm. He was still seething from the offer from Jack to get Gwen up the duff.

Ianto’s hand was absently stroking Jack’s belly. 'Of course that is going to mean a few changes around here. Jack will be off field duties for while, both before and after the birth, so we’re going to need someone to step up and take on an active officer role.'

Rhys’ ears pricked up at the comment. With Jack out of action for a while that left him right in pole position to move up. Maybe this wasn’t such a bad turn of events after all. He’d finally be able to show them what he was really capable of. And maybe, just maybe, Gwen would come to her senses and see him for what he really was.

'And that’s why I’ve asked Detective Sergeant Andy Davidson to join the team,' Ianto finished.

Rhys felt the bottom drop out of his stomach. 'Andy?'

'I’ve been having conversations with him for the better part of a year now, trying to convince him to join the fold. This time he felt he couldn’t turn me down. I think he’ll be a really great asset. All that former SAS training is wasted on the police force.'

Jesus Christ. Andy a member of the SAS? Rhys wasn’t sure he knew which end of a gun to point. 'But... what about me?'

Ianto’s smile was bordering on apathetic. 'You’re a key part of the team, Rhys, but your role here is very different. We need someone like you who can keep the place clean and organised. Your self defence skills are coming on nicely but it’s a big leap to go from making the coffee to being out in the field. Perhaps in a few years time.' And with that one slightly condescending reply Rhys felt his future crumble into dust.

'Speaking of,' Jack interrupted. 'Can we get some coffee? And not that swill you served up yesterday, either. Do I have to show you how to do it again?' He sighed. 'Ianto, I think perhaps you should take back making the coffee.'

'I don’t have time for it, Jack, you know that. What with everything else that’s going on, running Torchwood, keeping the Prime Minister happy...'

'Better you than me. Didn’t I always say you’d make the best boss ever?'

'It’s does have its advantages,' he said, smiling first at Jack and then at Gwen. 'Not that I have to do a lot of ordering around.'

'We like being compliant,' Gwen agreed.

'But if you’re still struggling, Rhys,' Ianto said, returning to the subject at hand, 'we can probably find some time to go over it all again.'

Rhys bristled at the insinuation. 'There’s nothing wrong with my coffee.' He couldn’t help it that these three were the most finicky people in the world when it came to the one drink most people were happy with when it came out of a jar. He’d spend all morning getting it right just to show them.

Ianto nodded. 'Good. And those reports you were tidying up for us?'

'Almost done. I got interrupted by that research Jack wanted on the psychotropic side effects of Argranian Grade Five sedatives.'

'Yes. Very important. We don’t want to be tinkering with our current retcon formula if that turns out to be a significant factor.'

'I never had a problem with them,' Jack insisted. 'We used them all the time when I was at the Time Agency. They swore by them.'

'Yes, but they weren’t dealing with twenty first century physiognomy.'

Jack’s eyes rolled theatrically. 'If you insist. Now can we go? And coffee?'

'Yes to both, but just the one for you. Don’t want our little one becoming addicted. Rhys, think you can make sure Jack doesn’t get more than one coffee a day? Boss’s orders. If he plays up, you can send him to my office.'

Gwen smirked. 'Any excuse to give him a paddling for being a naughty boy.'

Ianto smirked. 'Why else do you think I keep a hockey stick?'

'Can we maybe get back to work?' Rhys pleaded, desperate for a way out of having to listen to them any more. He didn’t think he could take it, and he wanted to be able to go and sulk somewhere he wouldn’t be disturbed for a long time.

Everything was such a mess. His attempts to woo Gwen had failed, Andy was coming in to be the next best thing since sliced bread, and for some reason he couldn’t shake the idea that he and Gwen had been much more than friends and a few failed dates. Perhaps Jack has been secretly testing those grade five sedatives on him. Whatever it was, it was cruel and unfair.

He had what it took, he knew that. He’d begged Gwen to let him join Torchwood and she’d finally relented, but it wasn’t panning out how he thought. He imagined being out on the streets with the team, stopping dangerous aliens from taking over. Not sitting here at the hub all day, taking phone messages for Ianto and shuffling papers for Jack and Gwen. Not to mention the endless task of keeping the place clean and all its residents fed, supplies stocked and weapons primed. That was about as close as he got to the armoury except for basic firearms training with Jack. He knew how to shoot a gun but he’d never had to use one to defend himself.

He sighed at the pile of boxes on his desk. More things to put away that the team had taken from the archives, mostly without telling him what and where from. Things down here were in absolute disarray. He used to think Ruth’s system for the filing cabinets at Harwood’s had been bad but this place was atrocious. It was amazing anyone ever found anything.

Was this really better than driving lorries all across the country? He got to be nearer Gwen but that wasn’t really working out when she was spending most of it out on the job or otherwise shacked up with Jack and their boss. They did have an awful lot of sex, even if he tried to avoid seeing or hearing about it, now that he stopped to think about it. He wasn’t sure why he’d been so surprised by it earlier. He must have just dreamt that there was an alternate universe where he and Gwen were exclusive. And how embarrassing to lose it in front of the team like that. Married. He shook his head. What had he been thinking?

He rifled through the box, looking at the tags and the notes clipped to the front of the files, trying to figure out what was the best order to tackle them in when he heard a thud and a muffled cry. He looked up to find Jack stumbling backwards and running into the ends of the rows of shelves, one after the other as something drove him backwards. It was easy to see why he’d run into them when his face was completely smothered by Ianto’s as they grabbed desperately at each other.

Rhys coughed loudly. 'Ahem?'

Ianto broke off long enough to look over Jack’s shoulder and raise an eyebrow at Rhys. 'Oh, we were wondering if you were down here.'

Rhys tried not to sound vexed. 'Well, here I am. Working,' he emphasised.

'Could you maybe come back and finish that off later?'

He felt like saying no. A whole hub they could choose from and they wanted to invade the one spot Rhys might get a bit of peace? 'Why here?'

'Why not?' He said it with a tone that clearly suggested Rhys shouldn’t question his boss.

'Ianto likes it down here because we can be as loud as we like and no one can hear us' Jack leered. 'And I do love it when Ianto is loud.'

Ianto blushed slightly which seemed at odds with his openly sexual manner in everything else. 'Perhaps you could go finish those files up in the tourist office? Oh, and while you’re up there, you might fix the place up. Those brochures are half out of date now and we are trying to ensure the place appears genuine. It’s not much of a front if it isn’t.'

Rhys bit the inside of his lip until it hurt. 'I’ll do a full inventory and order fresh ones. Anything else?'

'Maybe order some dinner. Say around six?'

'Seven,' Jack corrected.

'Okay, seven. Laksa maybe? Just leave it in the kitchen and we’ll grab it when we’re done. Oh, and don’t worry about dinner for Gwen. She’s catching up with Andy to given him some initial briefings before he starts tomorrow. You can sort him out a desk and some security credentials before you go tonight, can’t you?'

Rhys sucked in a breath and counted to four. 'I’ll add it to the list.'

Ianto stepped away from Jack’s reach. 'You are okay, aren’t you? You’ve been a little off today, so it seems to me.'

'I’m fine,' Rhys insisted. It was the rest of them that were a prop short of a rugby team. He supposed he should be used to it by now but for some reason he really never had gotten used to how weird Torchwood was.

'I know it’s been a day of big news but we really do appreciate you being here,' Ianto insisted. 'And I know you always said you weren’t interested, but if you change your mind, we’re open to letting you join us.'

Rhys felt his forehead crinkle in confusion. 'Join you?'

Ianto traced a hand down his arm and it was all Rhys could do not to shudder at the obvious intimacy of the touch. 'The rest of it,' Ianto replied, as if that explained everything. 'You really don’t know what you’re missing.' He leaned in and pressed his lips to Rhys’, letting his tongue slip inside his mouth.

Rhys started awake and Gwen’s head nearly collided with his.

'Sorry! Sorry!' Gwen said, cupping his head in both her hands to prevent him from head-butting her as he flinched. 'I was trying really hard not to wake you. You were just so adorable lying there.'

Rhys blinked and found himself lounged half upright on the sofa. He was in their flat. Their flat, he reminded himself, looking around and seeing all the familiar photo frames and knick-knacks from their life together. It was all exactly how he remembered it, right down to the battered sofa both of them knew was ugly but which neither of them was willing to give up on account of how comfy it was.

'I thought I told you not to wait up for me, sweetheart,' Gwen said, settling down beside him and running a hand through his hair. 'We knew it was going to be a late one.'

Rhys blinked again, trying to make sure he wasn’t imagining things. This was real, he was certain of it. That other place had just been all inside his head. 'I wanted to. Only didn’t do a very good job of it, did I?' The telly was still flickering in the background, but it was on mute and the only thing on it at this hour were home shopping ads for things nobody needed. He didn’t remember muting it or falling asleep.

She smiled at him and he melted at the sight of it. God he loved that smile. 'It’s the thought that counts. You looked like you were far off in dreamland. I was going to grab you a blanket and leave you be rather than try and wake you and drag you off to bed.'

'Dreamland?' He rubbed a hand down his face. 'More like a bloody nightmare,' he said. He didn’t want to think about where it might have lead if Gwen hadn’t come tumbling into their flat when she had, trying to wish him goodnight.

She frowned and continued to stroke the side of his hair. 'A nightmare about what?'

'Doesn’t matter,' he said, brushing it off. He wasn’t sure he could explain it to her. Not without having her laugh in his face at how ridiculous it was to be so jealous of all the other men in her life. Deep down he knew she only wanted him, no matter how bloody handsome Jack was, or Ianto for that matter. He wasn’t sure he’d ever be able to look Ianto straight in the eye ever again. What did it say about him that he’d been dreaming of some bizarre four way relationship that was mainly sex and not much else. And as for PC Andy... At least he knew for certain Gwen didn’t fancy him.

'Can I have that kiss now?' Gwen asked. 'The one I was trying to steal from you while you were asleep?'

Rhys wrapped his arms around her and pulled her down on top of him. 'Aye, you can have that and more.'