Title: i never thought the whispers were true 'til now
Fandom: House MD
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Greg House/James Wilson, Robert Chase/Greg House
Wordcount: 750
Content notes: Sexual humor, nothing else.
Author notes: Also for the "needless" prompt in the fffc Mixed Prompts Table, and for the square "The Rumour Mill" in my genprompt_bingo card.
Summary: Everyone thinks House and Wilson are together, including Chase. This leads to... shenanigans.

Wilson is used to the rumor mill. He's used to everyone going around, theorizing about his life in one way or another— especially in regards to his relationship with House. But it's still horrible when one of his patients asks about who that handsome doctor he talks with is, if they're together. What is it about him that makes so many people think he's gay?

Of course, it's not that big of a deal. But it still peeves him. Needless rumors about his sexuality and his relationship with House are, well, needless, as much as they may be right on a few counts. He's still not with him, though, or married to him. All of that is just baseless fabrications.

House seems to be having a similar gripe today, because he comes to him with a long-suffering sigh as he walks into his office.

"Chase asked me if we were in an open marriage today," he says as means of explaining.

He nearly chokes at that. "He what?" he breathes out. "Wait, why did he ask that?"

House gives him a half-hearted shrug and a smug smile. "I'd suppose it's because he wants to get in my pants."

Wilson lets out a long breath. "Of course," he replies. "Of course he wants to get in your pants."

"Yeah, the way he clearly tries to gain your approval throughout any means possible was pretty obvious."

He snorts. "Yeah, right. So I thought. But still, he thinks we're married."

Wilson huffs and goes to look through his calendar. "What did you say to him about it, though?"

"Oh, I told him that of course we're in an open marriage."

"What?!" Wilson exclaims. "You said that?! We're not even married!"

House laughs at him. "Perhaps we should be," he offers. "Certainly would make our relationship make a lot more sense to other people."

"I don't care if it makes sense to other people," he replies. "What I want is for both of us to be, you know, happy! And we're pretty okay as friends."

"Are we?" House wiggles a brow. "You know, if you want to get on the action, all you have to do is say it."

"I am not—" He sighs. "Fuck off."

He gives him a victorious smile. "I'll tell you about my adventures with blondie later."

"I don't need to know about that," he replies, raising his voice so House hears him as he leaves his office. It may be too late, though.

---

As it turns out, he does need to know what Chase and House got up to— or at least House thinks he does, because he dilligently goes over to his office a week later to tell him about it.

"Well," he starts, getting comfortable on the chair. "Let's just say that blondie has a talent with his mouth."

"House—"

"I'm just being honest here," he says. "You'd definitely like him. Would pull you away from all that repression you've got going on here."

"I don't —" He sighs. "I'm not repressed."

"Sure you're not." He hums. "There must be some other reason for your wonderful track record with committed relationships with women."

"I just.... House."

He smiles at him petulantly. "Yes?"

"Shut up," he says. Before House can reply with how he knows he's going to reply (make me), he pulls him forward into a sloppy kiss. It's messy and ridiculous and he's not used to the sensation of kissing another man, House's stubble against his cleanshaven chin, but it does feel nice. Perhaps on behalf of it being House.

When he pulls away, he's slightly breathless. "Okay," he says. "You may have a point."

House huffs, grins lopsidedly. "Chase will be thrilled when I tell him I caused you to finally break and kiss me."

"Doesn't he still think we're married?"

"Oh, I'll explain the situation to him, he'll understand," he replies. He hums and looks at his cane, as if in deep thought. "So, threesome?"

"No!"

He laughs and gives him a shrug. "It was worth a try, you have to admit that much."

Wilson rolls his eyes. He pauses for a second. "I may grant you that little fantasy of yours... after we do more than sloppily making out like a bunch of high schoolers."

House dramatically puts his hand over his chest. "Your wish is my command." He pulls him into a kiss this time around, eagerly.

Yeah. Maybe Wilson doesn't quite mind the rumor mill, just this once.