Title: in a curtain of light
Fandom: Guardian
Rating: Teen
Length: ~1700 words
Notes: Shen Wei/Zhao Yunlan, first kiss. Set during ep 22. Also for the 15kisses prompt, Spirit. Much thanks to trobadora for beta. No Warnings.
Summary: Zhao Yunlan and Shen Wei find themselves—and each other—in Hallowspace.


Zhao Yunlan stands where Shen Wei puts him and waits. He can feel the team’s focus, sense their tension. None of them has said so much as a reproachful word since he came back from the last visit to Feng Qubin, blind again, but it’s obvious they’re as worried as Shen Wei.

None of them are taking into account that Zhao Yunlan is best friends with a cat: he knows how to land on his feet. Added to that, he’s the Lord of the Guardians and has the Black-Cloaked Envoy on his side. Everything will turn out all right in the end—how can it not?

Crisp footsteps approach and someone takes his wrist without ceremony—Shen Wei, and yes, there’s that faint spicy incense scent Zhao Yunlan used to think was his aftershave. Zhao Yunlan wiggles his fingers, and Shen Wei links their hands, fingertips curled to palms, with the cool, roughly engraved handle of the Longevity Dial pressed between them.

“All right?”

“Of course.” Zhao Yunlan smiles. In his heart, the Longevity Dial is a dangerous, unpredictable thing that has left him nauseated and migrainey multiple times now, but he’s curious if this will work, knows Shen Wei won’t let anything go wrong. “Let’s do this.”

Shen Wei’s grip tightens fractionally. “Close your eyes.”

“Does it make any difference?” He can’t see either way, but he does what he’s told. A shudder runs through their clasped hands. Shen Wei or the Dial itself? Zhao Yunlan focuses.

A golden spark rises into the dark of his non-vision, then another. There’s a tugging, rushing sensation, and then the balance tips and spills, and a whirling upward cascade of sparks start to twine around him. He squeezes Shen Wei’s hand, just to make sure he’s not alone in this, and Shen Wei squeezes back.

Everything spins and Zhao Yunlan’s ears pop, and his sense of place changes abruptly. He opens his eyes. He can see.

Shen Wei is facing him, eyes closed, frowning in concentration. He’s still holding Zhao Yunlan’s hand with the Dial between them, but they’re in a dimension of purple and blue, filled with stars and galaxies and those same golden sparks that—what? Brought them here?

Zhao Yunlan drinks in the sight of Shen Wei—his sweater vest and sleeve garters, his glasses and the determined set of his mouth—then laughs. What mischief is the Longevity Dial up to now? “Shen Wei.”

Shen Wei blinks and looks at him, and the next moment, the dancing stream of light widens into a moving curtain that encircles them.

“Ha! Did you do that?” It seems likely. Shen Wei is the most private of people. Even here in this alien emptiness, he might be inclined to draw a cloak around himself, obscure himself from non-existent prying eyes. But if it was Shen Wei, that means his secrets aren’t shutting Zhao Yunlan out. They’re together in the dancing light.

And Zhao Yunlan is turning into light himself. The subtle weight of his dark energy corruption is lifting. His energy seems to flow through his fingers into Shen Wei and back again, his heart a steady, hypnotic drum keeping time with Shen Wei’s until they’re one body, two hearts, one pulse. It’s excruciating to be so intimate and hold himself back. And he’s sure now— Before he lost his sight he’d doubted the extent of Shen Wei’s feelings, wondered if it was even possible for a being as ancient as the Envoy to know bodily desire, but in the dark, everything Shen Wei keeps pushed down had been revealed, the timbre of his voice by turns sharply possessive and tinged with longing.

The time for Zhao Yunlan to respect the last of Shen Wei’s boundaries has passed. In this strange dimension, this Hallowspace, Zhao Yunlan tells his legs to bring him closer. They won’t take his commands. He’s immobile. So he speaks, his voice a rasp of breath. “Hei Lao Ge.”

An invitation. A plea.

Shen Wei must hear that. His gaze flies to meet Zhao Yunlan’s, and Zhao Yunlan has never felt so exposed. He deflects, more out of habit than anything. “Is it working?”

It’s an effective ploy. Shen Wei’s eyes drop to their hands, trying to divine what the Hallow is doing. “I can’t be sure.”

Regretting the diversion, impatient with himself, Zhao Yunlan tugs, and Shen Wei looks up again, steps forward. Apparently, unlike Zhao Yunlan, he can move freely. Zhao Yunlan’s heart races—no, not his. Shen Wei’s pulse is kicking up, taking Zhao Yunlan’s along with it. “Ah, I can feel you.”

“Yes.” The corners of Shen Wei’s eyes crinkle. But he doesn’t make a move.

There’s so much at stake here—everything they’ve become to each other, everything Zhao Yunlan hopes for. The last thing he wants to do is make things awkward between them. But he can’t hold it in anymore. “Show me I’m right about this.”

Shen Wei’s reply isn’t even a frown. Just a question with his eyebrows.

“About us.”

“Zhao Yunlan, we’re removing the dark-energy corruption from your body.” Official business, says his body language firmly, even as he moves closer.

“So? We can multitask.” If they don’t connect now while they’re connected, maybe they never will. Maybe Shen Wei will find reason after reason to sidestep this moment. To recuse himself out of duty or for Zhao Yunlan’s own sake. Zhao Yunlan doesn’t want that sacrifice. There’s no duty they can’t face together. He rushes on. “We’re alone in a weird Hallows dimension, and—” He looks away, swallows his pride, looks back and makes himself spell it out— “and I hope you want to kiss me as much as I want you to.”

“You’re not taking this seriously.”

“I take you seriously.” Zhao Yunlan refuses to back down. “I’m not kidding around, I swear. But if I’m wrong—”

Somehow that’s the key. Shen Wei’s expression softens, his free hand comes up to cup Zhao Yunlan’s jaw, and the Dial almost leaps from their grasp. The pulsing between them intensifies until Zhao Yunlan is trembling with it. Cool light streams around them. The sense of being one is almost claustrophobic, and then Shen Wei’s lips meet his, careful and brief. “You’re not wrong.”

His gaze is steady, no more evasions. Later Zhao Yunlan’s going to figure out why what he said made the difference. Later. Right now, Shen Wei looks so sure that any last shred of doubt disappears, whisked away with the dancing sparks. Zhao Yunlan curls his hand around Shen Wei’s neck and urges him into another kiss, this one still gentle, but full of passion building and growing, bound to consume them both. The connection between them widens and Zhao Yunlan can’t tell where he ends, where Shen Wei starts. Desperate gratitude flows through him—is it his own or Shen Wei’s? Maybe there’s no difference now.

It’s blissful and terrifying. Shen Wei is mountains and oceans, and while Zhao Yunlan isn’t lacking in self-confidence, he’s only human. But there’s no time to worry, the kiss fills his senses, Shen Wei’s mouth taking him, seeking out his true self behind the postures, games and teasing. Peripherally he’s aware their joined hands are mashed between them, and Shen Wei’s still cupping his jaw, but Shen Wei’s mouth on his is the only thing that matters—

Gradually the sparks thin out. Shen Wei pulls back, dark-eyed, glasses smudged and slightly askew, lips red. He presses his forehead to Zhao Yunlan’s. “Never doubt.”

“You neither.” Zhao Yunlan is breathless and full. He shuts his eyes. “Even if I don’t get my sight back, when we go back—”

His ears pop again, cutting him off, and he gasps. They’re back in their original positions, Zhao Yunlan with his head slightly bowed. Someone on the sidelines exclaims and is shushed.

Shen Wei tugs at Zhao Yunlan’s hand like he’s startled not to still be right up in Zhao Yunlan’s space. Instinctively Zhao Yunlan does the same, a balancing force. This sudden gap between them is jarring for both of them, it seems, with the ghost of their kiss lingering on both their lips.

The Dial is glowing fit to burst, visible through Zhao Yunlan’s eyelids, and then it dies away until it’s only harmless, inert metal.

Has it worked? Can Zhao Yunlan see again, here in the ordinary world? And are he and Shen Wei still joined? This tension and concern he’s sensing in Shen Wei mingled with elation at the kiss—perhaps he’s just projecting. And can Shen Wei tell what he’s thinking? What has the Dial done to them? Are their spirits bound forever now?

Zhao Yunlan opens his eyes, raises them slowly, looking for answers. The sweater vest, the blue shirt, the darkness of Shen Wei’s gaze. Joy floods him at the sight—can Shen Wei feel it through their connection? Does he share it? His expression is hopeful, intense. Zhao Yunlan can’t help himself—he has to test to make sure. He blinks, feigning blindness, and assumes a crestfallen air. “Let’s forget it.”

“No, we’re trying again,” says Shen Wei, immediately, and bends his head to the task.

So he doesn’t know. He can’t feel Zhao Yunlan’s emotions or read his mind. It’s a loss, that intimacy of the heart, but it’s a relief too. Zhao Yunlan’s all in with Shen Wei, no going back, but he’s not quite prepared to forego his self, his autonomy, or the carefully constructed face he shows the world. Shen Wei already sees through it half the time as it is. This way, at least Zhao Yunlan can still surprise him now and then, can take risks if need be without the Envoy knowing his plans and interfering. And he can still tease Shen Wei, just for fun. Heart brimming with affection, he does that now. He eyes Shen Wei’s bowed head with affection, then looks over his shoulder at the rest of the team, bringing them in on the joke with a wink—secure in the knowledge that afterwards, when he and Shen Wei are alone again, he won’t have to pretend at all.



END