Fandom: Torchwood

Characters: Jack, Ianto

Author: m_findlow

Rating: M

Length: 2,929 words

Content notes: Spoilers for audioplay "Ghost Train"

Author notes: Written for Challenge 14 - Performance anxiety

Summary: Ianto is discovering that keeping secrets has its own problems.


'I'm so sorry I'm late,' Jack apologised, hanging up his coat on the hook as he slipped through Ianto's front door whilst Ianto was still lounging about on the sofa half asleep.

'That's okay,' he replied drowsily. 'Not like I was going anywhere. Amazed the world hasn't decided to end while I've been waiting.'

Jack smiled but it was strained as Ianto's attempt at humour. 'Feels like a it's giving it a damn good try,' he replied. How did you go with those viruses, anyway?'

Ianto sighed. 'Two down, one to go. The doctors think they've got a vaccine that will work for the last one, so I left them to it. Pretty sure they know more about epidemiology and medicine than I do.'

'I'm sure they appreciated the help all the same. Not everyday that people start sprouting antennae when they sneeze.'

Ianto nodded in agreement. 'It certainly surprised me.'

Jack's eyebrows flew up at the comment. 'You got infected?'

'There are no pictures if that's what you're getting at, and yes, I was being careful. To say it was highly contagious before we isolated it was something of an understatement, although it did stop them from catching the second more virulent strain which turned people blind. I know which one I'd prefer.'

Jack groaned just thinking about it. One alien virus on the loose was bad enough but three all in the same day?

Ianto studied his lover's weary looking posture. 'What about you?'

'Turns out they weren't real dragons, which is lucky. I was starting to think they might burn down the whole city if they got really annoyed. Instead they just stomped anything less than twenty feet tall into dust. Only a few fires to speak of and most of them were handle by local firefighting crews. And you don't want to see the damage they caused to the Millennium Stadium. No one's going to be playing rugby there for months.'

Ianto leaned his head back against the sofa and sighed. Viruses were far better than dealing with giant lizard creatures that wanted to destroy everything in their path. He didn't even have the heart to ask Jack if he'd at any point been killed in the process. He couldn't remember the last day Jack had gone without dying. Nearly three weeks now and it just wasn't ending. God only knew how Gwen was handling it. He hadn't spoken to her since late afternoon and at the time she'd been busy shooting at... something. He wasn't sure what, only that it had come off second best.

'You look exhausted,' Jack said, coming to stand in front of the sofa, parking himself on the edge of the armrest.

'No more than anyone else.' At least he'd had dinner. He couldn't remember how he'd managed the energy to cook and why he hadn't just called out for takeaway. Probably because half the takeaway places in Cardiff had either been shut up on account of their staff being infected with highly contagious viruses, or their establishments trampled into little bits by alien dragons. Not real dragons, he reminded himself, so at least he couldn't be disappointed on that front. He'd have been gutted if he'd missed real dragons.

Jack reached down a hand to help Ianto up off the sofa. 'Come to bed.'

Ianto raised an eyebrow at him. He was tired, but not so much that he was going to waste the one night they'd managed to coordinate their chaotic, save the city from everything the rift could throw at it, calendars. 'Promise you'll make it worth my while?'

Jack grinned. 'When have I ever let you down?'

Ianto smirked. 'Loaded question.'

He let Jack pull him up and found Jack's arms immediately snaked around his waist, tugging him just as close as he could be, before leaning it to steal a kiss. Jack reeked of smoke and concrete dust from the red zone where the dragons had been. He didn't care though, letting his tongue slide into Jack's mouth and pressing closer. After the hellish day he'd had, all he really wanted was to lose himself in Jack and pretend that tomorrow wasn't going to be even worse than today. In the back of his mind he recalled something about a rain of fire, but couldn't remember if he'd heard it on the radio, which wasn't to be believed given current events, or if maybe he'd gotten something from their rift predictor program. It was very specific if it was, yet he couldn't dismiss the idea that he was certain about it. Rain of fire tomorrow, definitely. What the hell kind of umbrella did you pack for weather like that?

He decided it didn't matter. Jack's own tongue in his mouth was a far more enjoyable thought than worrying about what to pack for inclement weather with deadly intent. He wrapped his arms around Jack's neck and pulled him just as close as was physically possible, all the while slowly stepping expertly backwards navigating furniture and corners so that he could eventually lead Jack back to the bedroom without having to actually remove himself from Jack's lips.

No sooner than they were in the bedroom than Jack pushed him backwards onto the bed. His tongue began lavishing Ianto's chest, working this way down towards his belly button. When had Jack managed to remove both his tie and unbutton the front of his shirt? God but that man had devilish fingers! Not that he was complaining, but at this rate he was going g to be undressed well before he'd even managed to slip Jack's braces from his shoulders.

He pushed himself back up and seized Jack's lips once more, forcing Jack to sit next to him on the bed where he could get his own dexterous hands working away at Jack's clothes. Nothing would make him happier than having a naked Jack splayed over the top of his duvet, just ready to be ravished.

Jack's hands were still running up and down his sides, in between the folds of his open shirt which made divesting Jack's own shirt difficult. Ianto growled into his mouth and went lower, knowing that would get Jack's attention immediately as he tugged roughly, undoing the belt, buttons and zipper. He got Jack's attention alright, and soon with a bit of handiwork, he had Jack standing at attention. Jack shrugged off his shirt and Ianto pulled his t-shirt up and over his head, now all skin from the hips up. He shoved Jack onto his back and removed his trousers, tugging them off with a desperate need, leaving him there on the bed just as he'd pictured it in his head. He straddled over Jack's hips, grinning at the man beneath him.

'You're so predictable,' Jack said, grinning back.

Predictable? Yes, in many things he was, and quite proud of that fact, but he did not want to be predictable in the bedroom. Predictable was boring and boring was, well... Jack could have boring and predictable from anyone. He didn't have to stay with Ianto for that. He'd been about to carry on with their usual routine, reaching down to kiss Jack and let that carry on for a while as Jack was slowly allowed to undress him completely. More kissing and touching and rutting would follow until Ianto finally relented and let Jack go top, sliding himself inside. He let Jack take the lead because he trusted Jack and he knew that Jack would make sure they both enjoyed it. But if Jack wanted unpredictable, he could do that too.

He moved further up Jack's chest, massaging it all the way, loosening the tight knots in his torso and shoulders, working out any residual tension, until he was sitting on Jack's chest, his crotch practically in Jack's face, just as he intended.

'I have a present for you, Jack. I know how much you love to tear the wrapping off.' His thrust his hips a little closer as Jack grinned and began quickly undoing his belt. The lack of preamble didn't bother Ianto - he was ready. He wanted Jack to take him like this, or more to the point, to force Jack to take him like this.

Jack's hands and mouth were were all over him and he moaned at Jack's ministrations, louder than he usually was. Jack matched him for volume and in between mouthfuls of flesh said, 'louder' .

Ianto complied, giving full voice to every touch, finding that it was actually making him even more aroused. He'd always been very conscious that he had neighbours above and below him but tonight he decided that he didn't care. If they heard him and Jack that was just too bad. They never worried about him when they were clopping about their kitchen in high heels or vacuuming at seven am when he'd been up all night and just wanted a few hours sleep. Tonight he didn't care. He was Ianto Jones and he was having a night of passionate lovemaking with his boyfriend who just happened to be the sexiest man in all of Wales, and right now he was going to be as loud as he liked because he was so far down the back of Jack's throat that he couldn't even comprehend how Jack was making as much noise as he was. There surely wasn't any room left in his mouth for making noise. Ianto moaned loudly again and pleaded with Jack to take him. This was his reward for saving the world from three different viruses today, and tomorrow he'd go out there again and save them all from the rain of fire and-

The bottom fell out of his stomach as Jack sucked down on him hard. Oh, God! Now he remembered why he knew tomorrow was the rain of fire! Rhys had told him. Rhys, who was actually not Rhys, but Rhys from the future. Rhys who had been sent back in time by Jack to help prevent the world from ending. Rhys who was instructed to turn to Ianto for help. Rhys who had been the one that had cooked the dinner he couldn't remember making himself. Rhys, who was currently bunking and supposedly asleep on a camp bed in the laundry right on the opposite side of his bedroom wall! Rhys who had no doubt heard every moan, groan and plea for more that had left his lips as he begged Jack to take him and make love to him like the world really would end tomorrow!

All of his desire and hunger fell away in an instant. Just a few feet away, tucked behind what he knew was an impossibly thin wall, was Rhys. He couldn't even sleep when he had the tumble dryer going in there. He knew now why he couldn't remember things clearly. It was that bloody retcon he'd taken to try and take the edge off living a split life - one where he had to pretend that the world wasn't trying to end in about a weeks time and at the same time make sure Rhys didn't bungle it, or there really wouldn't be any world left. What other vitally important things had he forgotten? He must have been mad to think that a little bit of retcon could fix things! How could he forget that Rhys was there?

Jack noticed his change in demeanor straight away. 'What's wrong?' He said it with such sincerity, yet it was hard to take him seriously when he still had Ianto in his hand only inches from his lips eyes glazed over with wanton lust. Ianto rolled off of him and slumped against the bedhead next to him. His ragged breathing was the only sound left now, and he was pretty sure Rhys could probably hear that too.

Jack sat up and pressed himself against Ianto, rubbing his arm gently. 'Hey, we were having fun, weren't we? I definitely was.'

'I'm sorry.'

Jack wrapped a hand around Ianto's and squeezed it tightly. 'I know we haven't talked much since that whole Field of Despair thing.'

Ianto gripped at the excuse with both hands. He hadn't been there when it had first began, but by the time he did, Jack was well and truly caught in its grip. He was ranting like a madman, waving his gun around and telling Ianto that he realised he liked watching Jack die over and over again - that he'd even manufactured instances where Jack would throw himself into danger just so he could watch him suffer and die. It was all complete nonsense of course. That's what the field did. It took your most vulnerable worries and fears and manipulated you into thinking people were out to get you and that trying to fight on was pointless. He'd hated seeing Jack that broken and without hope, thinking Ianto wasn't one hundred percent there for him. And now Jack seemed to think maybe it was finally starting to nag at him as well.

'It's fine,' Ianto replied, resting his other hand over Jack's. 'It just took a while for it to catch up with me. It hasn't entirely gone away yet. It was on the radio again this morning. I just kept thinking...'

Jack silenced him with a finger to his lips. 'You don't need to worry about me. Or us. We're good. Really.' He kissed Ianto's shoulder. 'Now, how about we put all of that behind us and just pick up where we left off?'

Jack's hand drifted down into Ianto's lap, attempting to rekindle their earlier passion. His kisses drifted from Ianto's lips and along his jawline and then he began to ramp up his efforts. His hands were still trying to elicit a reaction from Ianto down below, but it was Jack's tongue that was doing all the dirty work. How Jack had ever thought that delving it inside Ianto's ear was something that would turn him on was beyond comprehension, yet it did. Of course he didn't just go straight in for it. He teased Ianto first by flicking it around the edges and then getting in right behind his ear, which was another unusually arousing spot. A tiny moan of pleasure escaped his lips before he remembered once more their captive audience. Jack was doing all the right things, and he wanted nothing more than to let Jack take him, but there was simply no way they were going to be able to do this in silence. Especially not when he'd just discovered how much more enjoyable it was when he vocalised his pleasure.

Jack persisted, and Ianto gripped the bedsheets in his fists from frustration and arousal in equal measures. He wanted it - needed it - but just couldn't get his body to cooperate now that he'd broken the fragile spell that the retcon had cast over him. All he could picture was Rhys with his ear pressed against the wall, listening to their every move, even if he knew Rhys was far more likely the type to have his pillow over his head and his fingers jammed tightly in his ears, eyes squeezed as tightly shut as possible and quietly repeating the words "dead puppies" over and over.

Ianto was most definitely not looking forward to the conversation over toast tomorrow morning. Perhaps he could leave early with Jack and at least put it off until tomorrow evening, assuming he came home at all. It was quite tempting to think that he could camp out at the hub permanently until this was over and then just never look Rhys in the eye ever again. Of course if Rhys ballsed things up, he'd carry that guilt around with him forever, presuming they lived. His home was beginning to feel like a prison - meals prepared for him, hard labour from six am to six pm and visitation rights, but no congugal activities allowed.

Ianto pushed Jack gently away, trying to discourage his noble attempts to please Ianto. 'Sorry, Jack. I guess I'm just more tired than I thought it was.' He couldn't very well admit he was suffering from performance anxiety from their spy in the laundry. Jack might have sent Rhys back in time, but even he couldn't know what he'd done in the future lest it ruin everything. Wasn't this why Ianto had taken the retcon in the first place?

To his credit, Jack wasn't annoyed or mad at him. He wasn't even mildly frustrated. Ianto was frustrated enough for both of them. He just pulled Ianto back down under the covers with him and cuddled around him, nuzzling his face into Ianto's shoulder. Ianto turned over and wrapped an arm back around him, settling into his warmth. This at least didn't cause any noise, and though Ianto wasn't getting what he wanted, it wasn't the worst concession in the world. Rhys might finally fall asleep now that things had gone quiet, and Ianto for his part might be able to forget about everything other than Jack for a whole ten minutes before his exhaustion took him off to sleep as well.

'I promise I'll make it up to you,' he murmured against Jack's cheek. And he would. He was going to make sure Rhys sorted out this mess he gotten himself into. He needed the world to keep turning so that Ianto could kick Rhys out of his flat and get back to normal life. A new kind of normal where he could make as much noise as he liked.