Title: The Ability To Dream
Author: Katya Starling
Fandom: Batman
Characters/Pairing: Batman/Catwoman, Joker/Harley
Rating: PG/K+
Challenge/Prompt: FFFC r:20.01: City Lights and Fan-FlashWorks 286: Box
Word Count: 1,656
Date Written: 4 January 2020
Warnings: None
Summary: Selina's falling back into the old trap.
Disclaimer: All characters within belong to their rightful owners, not the author, and are used without permission.









She arched upwards, like a cat yearning to be stroked, when the city lights started to come into her view. Her sleek, black car pulled noiselessly closer to the city, and as she entered her old territory, her emerald green eyes searched the streets and the faces, both familiar and new, whom she passed by. There were always the rich and elite, and always the poor and hungry, and constantly various faces and lifestyles in between. But of them all, tonight, there was only one in which she was interested.

Only one who had pulled her back here yet again after she had, as she always did before leaving and right after, swore she'd never return. Only one who haunted her every dream. Only one who made her everything within her yearn, purr, and sing each time he touched her. Only one who still had power over her.

Selina's gaze flicked to her rearview mirror. She'd been so happy to leave Gotham behind, so relieved to leave him behind, and yet here she was again. Here she was once more drawn to the enemy, one more being a silly, foolish kitten unable to leave home alone, unable to leave what she knew she was better off without alone.

She shouldn't have come back. She should turn around right now, leave, and stay true to her word this time -- stay gone. She should take her own advice. How many times had she told her girls this place wasn't good for them? How many times had she begged and pleaded with Harley to leave her cherished Mistah J behind and keep him from ever having power over again? How many young girls had she taken in off the streets and taught to never give a mere man that kind of power?

Yet he had power over her. He had since the first time they'd met. He would, she knew, bristling inside, until the day she finally died. Some nights, she yearned for that moment, for that sweet release of death. Tonight wasn't one of those nights, not yet. She didn't think it would be -- as long as he stayed to his territory and she to hers. She wouldn't lie to herself. The problems she had with that great, big, bad Bat were most often what led her to those kinds of thoughts.

But not tonight, she swore. Not tonight. She knew better. She always did. She was stronger this time, however, brighter, and braver. But then, she always believed herself to be all three of those things every time she relented and let herself come back here. She shouldn't have come, but to not return to Gotham also meant never seeing him again.

"Damn it, Bruce." Her lips curled as she hissed the words underneath her breath. If she'd had a tail, it would be lashing, but though she named herself after cats, those elegant animals were far better, and most especially wiser, than she'd ever be. You never saw a queen tying herself down to a single tom, after all.

But he was all she wanted. She could distract herself with elegance and riches, with diamonds and endless cash, with the causes of young girls and street cats, but in the end, her mind, and most especially her heart, always came back to him. He was all she really wanted. Yet, if she was honest with herself, she also knew that he was the greatest danger to her -- to her freedom, to her wilds, to her survival, even to her own sense of peace in mind and heart.

He looked at her as the enemy. He always would, no matter how many lives she saved or how hard she tried to change. He would always see her as the enemy. Either he or time or old or new enemies would always test her, and eventually, each and every time, she failed. And each and every time that he locked her away or told her to get out of Gotham, another piece of her died. There was no peace there between them, no love in his heart for her, but she still couldn't stop the way she felt for him. She still couldn't stop loving him.

She never would. She'd come to terms with that knowledge quite a number of years prior. She would never stop loving him, not the man, Bruce, or the hero, Batman. She would never be able to shut him entirely out of her heart, her mind, or even her dreams. He was her master, even though he didn't know it or perhaps simply wouldn't admit it, and he wielded the power grandiosely.

She jumped as another light, this one far brighter, bolder, and more golden than the rest, lit up the busy night sky. Emotions warred within her, sounding out in a harsh growl that ended in a weary sigh. Well, at least she knew where he'd be tonight, saving Gotham again, this time from a true foe, one that was not herself. That meant she knew where to stay away from.

She knew where to stay away from, all right. Her eyes flashed. This time, when her growl sounded, it filled the car and was aimed entirely at her own stupid self. Yeah, she knew where to stay away from all right, but she was still too naive, still as badly and sillily as "in love" as that naive, little Harley Quinn, for her own good. That was why she kept coming back to this same, damn litter box time and again, and why, despite everything in her reminding her that she knew better than to make this mistake, she was staying in this place again.

She just wasn't heading after that light, not tonight, not tomorrow night, or even the night after. She would have plenty to do as she emerged back into the seedy life of this rathole, plenty of lives to save, plenty of credible villains to have to fight again. She'd be able to keep busy, and he'd find her. He'd always find her. He'd find her. They'd love; they'd fight. He'd break her heart again, and leave her again, probably behind bars once more.

Selina sighed, her thin shoulders sagging, and shook her head. Yes, in her own right, she was every bit as fool as Harley Quinn. She slapped on the brakes as bodies were hurled into the street before her car. Men got to their feet and scampered away, and for the first time in weeks, Selina smiled genuinely. The corners of her mouth turned up and kept turning up until she looked not just like any, old cat but like the Cheshire Cat himself.

"AN' YA BETTAH KEEP RUNNIN'!"

Selina stopped her vehicle and rolled down her window. "Is this a private party," she called out, "or can anyone join?"

Her girls looked so happy to see her. Harley jumped for glee and clapped her hands. Her hyenas, circling around her, yipped their excitement. Even Ivy beamed from where she bounced on top of a giant Venus flytrap. "It's about time, Cats. It was getting lonely. This is a three-woman city, after all."

Selina sighed again, but this time, she didn't let it sound aloud. She kept it muffled, not wanting to upset the two people she could come the closest to calling actual friends. She didn't have friends -- friends, true friends such as were written about in stories and depicted in movies, didn't exist --, but these two had come to mean quite a bit to her over the years. Perhaps, at the very least, they could distract her from the big, bad Bat for a while, and maybe, while they were distracting her, she could distract Harls and keep her safe for a while longer.

She cast a glance back at the Batsignal still lighting up the sky in her rearview mirror. Yeah, the man of her dreams, and her nightmares too, could wait a while. He'd break her heart again, and her spirit too, soon enough. Maybe she could live a little while while she was waiting on him this time. Maybe she could somehow learn to hope again.

Her reverie was shattered as her doors were opened unexpectedly and slammed shut. "You're just in time," Ivy told her, her voice sounding almost as fatigued as Selina felt. "Tell this twit, Sel, that she does not need Joker. No woman needs a man."

No, Selina thought wistfully. No woman needed a man, but some women couldn't stop the feeling that they did, herself included.

Harley stuck out her tongue at the back of Pam's red head. "So where to, toots?"

"You tell me. My night's open."

Ivy started filling her in on their latest plan, and Selina listened with rapt attention, though she did keep glancing back at the Batsignal until it finally disappeared. This was exactly the distraction she needed. She'd meet him again one night that would be both too soon and not soon enough, but maybe this time, it would be on her turf, on her discretion. Maybe somehow she'd turn the tables on the Bat this time, and make him see her for all she was, not just another villainess who was passionate in the bed. Maybe this time she could teach him to love her.

She sighed inwardly and glanced back at Harley, who was lost in her own imagination and doodling the Joker's name in a heart. Yeah, maybe this time, he'd be the idiot and not her. She batted away the tears that rose in her emerald eyes, but not the gloved hand that came to rest on top of hers. Ivy knew why she was back. They all did, though none of them voiced it. Maybe she wasn't the idiot. A girl could still dream even in this nightmare of a town and life . . . couldn't she?

The End