title: pay me what I'm worth
fandom: Guardian
characters: Zhao Yunlan & Da Qing
length: ~350 words
contents: banter, almost entirely dialogue, completely spoiler-free

Summary: Da Qing discovers his calling.

Note: This was supposed to be for a prompt about Zhao Yunlan working for a professional cuddle business. As usual, I fail at prompts! Also, for people who don't speak accountant, a notice about acceptable payment methods is an advice.




Da Qing strides into Zhao Yunlan's office and tosses a sheet of paper onto his desk with a grin. Annoyingly, the cat then proceeds to sit his butt on the page and resist Yunlan's efforts at retrieving it.

"What's this?"

"It's a bill. For my services."

Yunlan manages to wiggle half the page into view and taps a line of large print. "It literally says This is not a bill."

Da Qing pulls his feet up on the desk, too, which does nothing for the rest of Yunlan's paperwork but does manage to free the paper in question. "It lists my hourly rates and the services I'm willing to provide."

"What services? All you do is lounge around and sleep on my laundry."

"There's a rate for that."

There are a lot of rates listed on the page, and a lot of potential services. Sleeping is, in fact, listed. It's one of the more expensive items. There's also a paragraph describing the business itself --

"Professional Cuddling? How is that even a job?"

Da Qing clutches a hand to his heart. "It's not a job! It's my calling."

Yunlan hums, skimming the rest of the page. Hand-holding, hugging, head-petting (Da Qing's only), with or without purring...

"All you poor, touch-starved humans --"

"... they specifically welcome Dixingren and Yashouren clients?"

"I can help heal your sad, troubled souls with positive physical contact!"

"And make money."

"Artists should be fairly compensated for the joy they bring to society."

Yunlan smothers a laugh. "You've been listening to Lin Jing again."

Da Qing sprawls further on Yunlan's desk. "You understand that I can't lounge around here for free any more."

"Oh, of course not."

Da Qing pauses, rightly suspicious at how readily those words come out of Yunlan's mouth.

"I'd be willing to offer you a discount?"

Yunlan waves a hand. "Wouldn't hear of it! You're an artist, after all."

"Great!" Da Qing scuttles off the desk, headed for the door as fast as he can --

"Now you can finally start paying your share of the rent!"

Yunlan's laughter chases him down the hallway.