smallhobbit

Marylebone Monthly Illustrated

Lonely Hearts’ Column

MY DEAREST ANGEL – Return to me for I miss you dreadfully.  If you can no longer commit, please tell me why and I will understand.  MS

BECAUSE I LOVE YOU – The most beautiful inspector in all the world. XX

LOOKING FOR LOVE – Lonely bachelor, seeks heiress.  Will consider even an American.  RSS

COMPANIONSHIP REQUIRED – Anyone sane, thoughtful, and with no tendency to set fire to soft furnishings. MH

GENTLEMAN SEEKING COMPANY with a view to marriage.  Keen cyclist.  Home in countryside, within reach of railway station. RC

CAN YOU HEAL A BROKEN HEART? – If so, you will be rewarded by music and dance from a well-dressed super-hero.  TF

LOOKING FOR COMPANY – I could be your ideal man.  Interested in books, painting and Chinese pottery.  Also horse racing and polo. AG

COMPANION SOUGHT – Red-headed by preference.  Excitement promised.  Could get dirty. JC

Dr Watson peered over Sherlock Holmes’ shoulder as he read through the entries.  “All the usual sorts of message,” he said.

“Yes,” Holmes replied, pointing to an entry.  “I see Mouselet’s slipped one in again, without the Sloth noticing.”

Watson laughed.  “And Mrs Hudson still hasn’t forgiven you for the minor conflagration last week.”

Holmes shrugged.  “It could be worse.  She could be advertising for new tenants.”

“If I were you, I’d check the rest of the small ads before you sound too confident. Oh, and it appears the Ferret’s latest affair lasted as long as the others.”

“Nothing unusual there.  Ah, now that is interesting.  You see the last entry; it looks like our old acquaintance John Clay is planning on resuming his activities.  Scotland Yard will not be happy about that.”

“Using ‘red-headed’ is slightly obvious as a code word though.”

“I don’t imagine he expects Sherlock Holmes to be reading the Lonely Hearts’ Column.”