Title: Lost in Translation
Fandom: Guardian
Characters/Relationship: Shen Wei/Zhao Yunlan
Rating: 15
Words: 783
Summary: It's not quite a meme, but it's the next best thing as an answer.
Notes: The note is blatantly borrowed from a post somewhere on tumblr that, alas, I can no longer find.



"Well," Shen Wei commented as they studied the scene. "I don't think this is part of our case."

"What gave it away?" Yunlan replied, eyeing the one-wheeled bike in resignation. No other damage to either the bike or the surrounding area, it was looking more like someone had just nicked the wheel and left, though why anyone would bother was beyond him, than actually being related to their case. Ah well, it had been a slim lead anyway. He also didn't need to look to know exactly what Look Shen Wei was giving him.

"For one thing there's a note."

"A note?" Yunlan's head swivelled to where Shen Wei was crouching - pausing along the way to appreciate the view - hand hovering over a piece of paper, dark energy floating above it before it was apparently deemed safe to touch.

"I suppose it could be a confession." Shen Wei sounded dubious and Yunlan didn't buy it either.

"What's it say?" he asked, delighting in the way Shen Wei's eyebrows drew together in bewildered almost confusion.

"'Jesus took the wheel.'"

Yunlan blinked. "What?"

"Jesus took the wheel," Shen Wei repeated, passing the note over. And yup, that was indeed what it said. "I suppose if we found this person we could-"

Yunlan couldn't help it, the laughter spilling out of him and leaving him holding his side as he wheezed.

"Zhao Yunlan?"

Yunlan tried to pull himself together, he really did, but Shen Wei looking at him with such a cutely disgruntled expression set him off again. He clearly realised he was missing something but didn't understand what and it was fucking adorable. When it he managed to get it together again he briefly considered trying to explain the meaning behind 'Jesus take the wheel,' and decided he was better off not going into that much detail.

"It's a meme," he said eventually. Exposure to the SID in general - and Lin Jing in particular - meant that Shen Wei had at least a basic understanding of what memes were, even if seeing them in action was a continual source of bewilderment that was best left firmly alone. Unless it was funny, anyway.

"Ah." Shen Wei nodded and pushed his glasses further up the bridge of his nose in his own personal way of facepalming. "Not a confession, then."

"Nope," Yunlan agreed, stepping closer and draping an arm across Shen Wei's shoulders. "And considering this isn't anything to do with us, I suggest we call it a night." He waggled his eyebrows in an obviously seductive mannner that- that Shen Wei clearly wasn't paying attention to. "I suggest your place!" he continued, tugging him back towards the car, something that only worked because Shen Wei allowed himself to be moved. "No Damn Cat to interrupt us."

Shen Wei's eyebrows rose in what was probably supposed to be a stern expression, but the corner of his mouth quirked up which totally ruined it and Yunlan couldn't resist pressing the briefest of kisses against that curl. Only brief because even though there was no one around they were, technically, in public and public displays of affection were hit and miss with Shen Wei.

"Zhao Yunlan."

It wasn't a protest. Possibly it was meant to be one but Shen Wei's voice had gone too husky for that, the kind of husky that could undo him oh so easily and it was giving him ideas. "Mm?"

"The car."

"Excellent suggestion! We can make out in the car much better. You have the best ideas, Xiao Wei."

Shen Wei drew in a sharp breath, but didn't pull away. "Absolutely not."

"Oh, come on," he wheedled. "It'll traumatise Da Qing next time he's in there."

"Is that supposed to be encouragement?"

"He'll smell you all over me," Yunlan continued, toying with the barely visible shirt cuff at Shen Wei's wrist. "How you pushed me against the seats and ravished-" A portal flared open and Yunlan found himself dragged firmly through into Shen Wei's bedroom. "This works, too," he finished, landing on the bed with a laugh and sprawling out to put himself on display. "Is Hei Lao Ge going to have his way with me?" Because Shen Wei was most definitely channeling 'Black Cloak Envoy' more than 'Professor Shen' right now.

"Yes," Shen Wei told him, kneeling on the bed and getting right up in Yunlan's space, his gaze burning as it travelled up the length of his body and Yunlan preened under the attention. "I certainly am."

"Excellent! I-" The rest of what he was going to say vanished out of his head as Shen Wei's mouth claimed his.

------------------

"My car!"

"We'll get it in the morning."

"But-"

"In the morning."