Title: Hat to Hat
Fandom: Bungou Stray Dogs - Nakahara Chuuya/Dazai Osamu
Rating: G
Length: ~1100
Content notes: fluff, references to Fifteen
Summary: Dazai looks far, far too pleased with himself, so why shouldn't Chuuya be suspicious as he's handed a present?

Author notes: For the fan_flashworks challenge pin or pen, and the bingo square new - and with that I have my bingo! Thanks to ldybastet for the beta! :)



Chuuya glared with deep suspicion at the clumsily wrapped package Dazai was holding out to him. “What the hell is that?”

“It’s a present. Go on, take it. It’s not going to explode.”

The thought hadn’t occurred to Chuuya, but now that Dazai had said that, he suspected it probably would. Why shouldn’t he be cautious though? It wasn’t his birthday (or at least, as far as he knew it wasn’t), it wasn’t a special occasion or anywhere near any kind of event that required presents… Not to mention Dazai wasn’t exactly known for his generosity, unless you counted the way he’d happily dump his work on other people, so there had to be some kind of catch. The question was, what.

Chuuya reached out, letting his fingers brush against the wrapping paper and catch the sticky edges of the tape, before pulling his hand back. Dazai looked far too pleased with himself, grin wide enough to reach the edge of the bandages he habitually wore over his eye. Something was definitely up. “No way. Not unless you tell me why first.”

“Do I have to have a reason to give someone a present? Honestly, Chuuya, I’m starting to think people don’t just give you things very often. Ah, but I guess all the Sheep did was take…”

At the mention of his old gang, Chuuya snatched the package out of Dazai’s hands. He didn’t open it right away, instead feeling carefully around the shape within in an attempt to figure out what it might be. It didn’t seem sharp, or obviously explosive, although he still didn’t quite trust Dazai on that front, it was something long and thin, with a weird bulge at the end…

Seriously, what the hell was it?

Dazai folded his arms and started tapping his foot, letting out a long sigh. “Will you just hurry up and open it?”

With a growl, Chuuya did. The wrapping paper was quickly and messily ripped away to reveal… a pen. A mostly ordinary looking pen, with a plastic hat reasonably similar to his own crowning one end.

“What the…”

Dazai clapped his hands together. “It’s a hat pen! It’s so awful and tacky, as soon as I saw it I knew it was perfect for you.”

What would be better, Chuuya wondered to himself, if he threw the pen at Dazai or tried to stab him with it? His fingers wrapped around it a little more tightly, his arm tensed… But then Chuuya paused. Hadn’t he been saying to Kouyou just the other day how he wanted a hat pin? Something a little decorative, to help hold his beloved hat in place and disguise the fact that it was just slightly too big for him? Dazai had been there too, but it hadn’t seemed like he’d being paying any attention to the idle conversation. It could just be a coincidence…

Then again, it was Dazai he talking about. Probably not. And wasn’t it nice to know even he could get things wrong sometimes?

Apparently, he’d spent too long in thought. Dazai was pouting at him, obviously upset at Chuuya’s lack of reaction. “Aren’t you going to praise me for my amazing gift-giving skills? If you don’t like it, I’ll just take it back.”

“Hey!” Chuuya pulled back, clutching the pen to his chest in an effort to keep it away from Dazai’s suddenly flailing arms. It was surprisingly difficult, Dazai’s limbs contorting in ways Chuuya didn’t think possible as he tried to pick holes in Chuuya’s defence. “No way can you just take a present back! I’m keeping it!”

“Really? Good, good, it’s important for a dog to appreciate it when their master gives them something.”

Not that Dazai let up in his assault. Instead, he switched targets, trying to pat Chuuya on the head just as Chuuya took a step back. Dazai missed, hand glancing off the side of Chuuya’s hat and sending it tumbling down to the ground. The gravity of what he’d done didn’t escape him, judging by the way he nervously met Chuuya’s eyes. They stared at each other for a long minute before Dazai turned tail and ran laughing down the hall, coat flying out behind him.

Maybe, Chuuya thought as he picked his hat up and dusted it off, he should have stabbed Dazai with the pen after all…

***

One thing Chuuya hadn’t quite got used to yet as part of the Port Mafia was the sheer number of meetings he needed to attend, both with and without Kouyou. He’d taken to writing them down, endless pages filled with his messy handwriting detailing dates, times, and important facts he’d need to remember. One day he was sure he’d be able to remember it all off the top of head, but until then…

It was almost comforting, really, the familiar routine of sitting at a table in one of Kouyou’s rooms, scribbling down what he needed as she elegantly paced the room giving him advice on both the meetings and the etiquette he’d need for them.

“And then we have the dinner with Tanaka Holdings at…” Kouyou trailed off, eyes suddenly focused on Chuuya’s hand. “What exactly is that in your hand, lad? I haven’t seen it before.”

Chuuya’s hand immediately went to cover the other, palm over the hat on the end of his pen. He’d taken his own hat off when he’d entered her rooms – was this another etiquette thing and he should’ve taken it off the pen too? “It’s… it’s a pen.”

Kouyou drifted over, tapping him on the back of the hand until he revealed the pen in all of its tacky glory. “It’s certainly appropriate. And where did you get that from?”

“It was a present.” Chuuya lowered his gaze, suddenly not wanting to look Kouyou in the eyes. The last thing he wanted was to tell her exactly who he’d got it from. Because then he’d have to try and explain just why Dazai had given him a present, and he still wasn’t sure of that himself…

“I see.” Kouyou’s finger moved to the edge of Chuuya’s chin, gently pressing upwards until he met her eyes again. The corner of Kouyou’s lips twitched, although if it was from annoyance or amusement, Chuuya wasn’t quite sure. Then suddenly she let go and resumed her usual position. “So, back to tonight’s meeting…”

With a sigh of relief, Chuuya went back to writing. He’d need to be more careful about where he used it in future, that was for certain. The last thing he wanted was for it to get back to Dazai that his stupid present was actually useful…