Title: such a space to cross
Fandom: Guardian
Rating: G
Length: ~3000 words
Notes: pre-relationship, set during episode 14. Many many thanks to trobadora for wonderfully insightful beta! Thanks also to mergatrude for asking just the right question when I got stuck. Title from Sylvia Plath's The Night Dances. Also for the FFW Bingo prompt, Glue. No warnings apply.
Summary: Already Zhao Yunlan can feel him wanting to retreat, to put his walls back up and pretend this will all go away. It makes Zhao Yunlan hold on tighter, push closer, get right up in his face. If those walls have to be rebuilt, they can encompass both of them this time.


Zhao Yunlan leaves his arm slung across Shen Wei’s shoulder as they leave the Department of Supervision after their first official meeting with Minister Gao, and despite his po-faced expression and the tension in his frame, Shen Wei doesn’t pull away. Zhao Yunlan counts that a win.

Shen Wei is still annoyed. It’s not clear yet exactly what’s eating him—whether it’s having his identity revealed, the manner in which Zhao Yunlan revealed it, being cornered into joining the SID, or frustration at himself and the whole chain of events that led to his all-powerful self-sufficient Envoy act being undermined. But other things are coming into focus: that for all his irritation, he’s not pushing Zhao Yunlan away; that he just agreed to accompany him to dinner with Vice-Minister Guo this evening; that Shen Wei’s so used to working alone, under a veil of secrecy, it’s reflexive.

I’m just an ordinary person, he’d started to say in the car this morning, as if he’d already forgotten Zhao Yunlan is in on his secret. Forgotten it’s something they share now.

Was it the inclination to fly solo that stopped him from joining the SID sooner? What else is he denying himself in the name of self-reliance?

Already Zhao Yunlan can feel him wanting to retreat, to put his walls back up and pretend this will all go away. It makes Zhao Yunlan hold on tighter, push closer, get right up in his face. If those walls have to be rebuilt, they can encompass both of them this time.

That’s the other reason he’d been so insistent Shen Wei join the team—as well as making sound strategic sense, working together can only bring them closer, and Zhao Yunlan wants so much to get closer. For Shen Wei to let him in.

All the same, they don’t have to be glued at the hip—especially since Zhao Yunlan’s next meeting is likely to be a difficult one. It’s Shen Wei’s first day on the job; let him enjoy the honeymoon, focus on the positive. So when they reach the car, he gives Shen Wei’s shoulder a pat and drops his hand. “I’ll give you a ride to the university.”

Shen Wei’s gaze follows him as Zhao Yunlan walks to the driver’s door, and okay, yeah, maybe that was a shade too obvious. He’s not usually one for giving Shen Wei space.

“Where are you going?” asks Shen Wei.

“It’s nothing.” They climb into the jeep, and Zhao Yunlan pulls away from the curb. He won’t make up a cover story, now the lies are finally behind them, and he doesn’t want to set Shen Wei a bad example by stonewalling, but he has to call on the Li family, and if he can shelter Shen Wei from the fallout of his misguided attempt to handle the Zheng Yi situation alone, he will. It’s not a lesson Zhao Yunlan’s going to let him forget, but there’s no need to rub his face in the resulting tragedy either. “I have an appointment, and you have a post-graduate seminar in half an hour.”

Shen Wei doesn’t comment on Zhao Yunlan’s knowing his timetable. “I’ve already cancelled it and set the students extra reading instead.”

“How did you do that? Sent your students an email? Oh no, wait.” Zhao Yunlan throws Shen Wei a teasing grin.

Shen Wei doesn’t react to the joke. “I could accompany you to your appointment.” He looks forward through the windscreen, diffident or pretending to be. “That is, if you’d like.”

Zhao Yunlan’s grip tightens on the steering wheel. It’s an unsolicited offer, an olive branch. Inconvenient, but even so, Zhao Yunlan wants to grab it with both hands. He softens his voice to acknowledge the gesture, but can’t help grimacing as he explains, “The Li family have requested a meeting. Specifically, Li Jiaqi.”

It’s not going to be fun. Minister Gao has warned that the magnate’s daughter is deeply upset about the attack at her wedding and distraught at the death of her father. Zhao Yunlan’s job is to smooth things over and make sure the wealthy Li family, who happen to own the largest private security firm in Dragon City, don’t go looking for private revenge.

Or besmirch the SID’s name to the Xingdu Bureau, where they no doubt have contacts.

“You don’t have to come,” says Zhao Yunlan.

But Shen Wei sets his jaw, apparently determined to face his mistakes head-on. “It’s all right.”

“Okay, your—” funeral, Zhao Yunlan cuts off just in time. “—call.” He takes a left turn, steering them away from the university and towards the Li house.


*


They’re directed to the room that a few days ago had been decorated for the society wedding of the year. Now the flowers, balloons and streamers are gone, and the space, like the rest of the house, is hushed and sombre. Bodyguards flank the doorway, but they let Zhao Yunlan and Shen Wei pass when Zhao Yunlan shows his ID.

Inside, Li Jiaqi and another young woman are sitting on the couch, talking in low voices. Li Jiaqi is wearing a black business suit with a white blouse, a mourning armband, a wide black scarf around her neck and sunglasses. The other woman, all in white, murmurs something, touches Li Jiaqi’s hand and leaves.

“Chief Zhao Yunlan of the Special Investigation Department. This is my consultant, Professor Shen.”

“I know who you are.” Li Jiaqi takes off her sunglasses, leaving her pale-faced with dark smudges under her eyes.

Zhao Yunlan hovers, waiting for an invitation to sit or an offer of tea, but apparently it’s not that kind of meeting. After a moment he takes the armchair across from their host anyway, leaving Shen Wei standing, safely out of the line of fire.

The last time they were here, Zhao Yunlan had been seething with frustration and making no effort to hide it. Is Shen Wei remembering that or the violence that preceded it?

“We’re here to extend our condolences,” says Shen Wei, and there’s a sincerity beneath the rote phrase that reminds Zhao Yunlan that this isn’t about him or them. Makes him wonder for the first time how many families the Envoy has had to inform of the loss of a loved one, over his long career, and whether any of those losses had been at the Envoy’s own hand.

Zhao Yunlan hates notifying families. It’s absolutely the worst part of the job, the only time his deliberately casual manner and clothes sit wrong on his skin. This isn’t quite that, and he’d have spared Shen Wei the meeting if he could have, but he’s glad to have someone at his side, for once, and even more glad it’s Shen Wei.

“Is it over?” asks Li Jiaqi, locking gazes with Zhao Yunlan as if she can sense his attention wandering.

Zhao Yunlan focuses. “Is what over?”

“Did you catch whoever’s targeting my family?” she says, impatiently. “Your department is in charge of preventing these kinds of crimes, isn’t it?”

“That’s right. Our investigation is ongoing.” Zhao Yunlan clasps his hands loosely in his lap and tries not to be distracted by Shen Wei’s moving an upright chair from its place against the wall and sitting next to him, close but slightly back. Zhao Yunlan appreciates the gesture of presenting a united front, but if Shen Wei’s going to do more than observe, he wishes he’d put himself where Zhao Yunlan can see him. “Do you have reason to believe you’re still in danger?”

“I’d think so, since you haven’t caught them, and you haven’t done a damn thing to protect us!” She grips the sunglasses in her hands, the frames bending, her knuckles white. “First my fiancé and I were kidnapped from our baths by that water ghoul—”

Zhao Yunlan bites his tongue and forces himself not to check Shen Wei’s reaction to her calling Wu Xiaojun a ghoul.

“—and then everyone at our wedding went crazy at once. Something made us crazy. My fiancé tried to murder me, and my father—my father is—” She swallows, her mouth pinched.

Her wealth and the scornful note in her voice notwithstanding, she is genuinely grieving, and Zhao Yunlan feels sorry for her, but he still has to keep his guard up, his front professional. “I know it’s upsetting, and the consequences have been tragic, but the incidents aren’t related.”

Li Jiaqi glares. “You think it’s a coincidence, Chief Zhao? You think I’m just unlucky? That I’ve been attacked twice in completely bizarre ways at random?”

Her words seem to echo around the room. Zhao Yunlan digs his thumbnail into the ball of his index finger till it hurts. “Not at random,” he allows, “but not connected. The kidnapping was motivated by revenge against your and your husband’s fathers, and high profile social occasions like your wedding are always potential targets. The kidnapper has been caught and dealt with, and the person who instigated the situation at the wedding is just an opportunist.”

“An opportunist and a monster, and obviously he knows where I live—”

She’s talking about Zhu Jiu, and if anyone deserves it, he does, but even so, Zhao Yunlan can’t completely suppress a wince at monster, acutely aware how it must sound to Shen Wei. He opens his mouth to divert the conversation, but Shen Wei gets there first.

“You said fiancé,” he interrupts politely. “Did the marriage not proceed—?”

“Not yet.” There’s a tremor in her fingers as they go to the scarf around her neck.

“I’m sorry.” Shen Wei takes it all in, as if tallying the cost of the tragedy is some kind of penance.

Zhao Yunlan can’t help picturing the bruises hidden by the scarf. The prospect of marrying someone who’d tried to strangle her must be unnerving, regardless of the circumstances. “You should know it wasn’t Huang Linqi’s fault. The attacker deployed a mind-control device.”

“And Huang Linqi was weak enough to let himself be affected,” she says. Her gaze flicks to Shen Wei. “Not everyone was.”

Zhao Yunlan reclaims her attention before she can make a play for Shen Wei, either as another, more specialised bodyguard or a replacement candidate for husband. “Ah, I wouldn’t hold that against Huang Linqi—it was very powerful technology. Anyway, as I said, we know the identity of the culprit, and we’re closing in on him. If you’d like, I can arrange for my technical specialist to liaise with your security company and make sure your alarm system is up-to-date.”

Li Jiaqi has recovered her poise. She holds her head proudly. “There’s no need. My father had new, top-of-the-line alarms installed at home and at the office not long ago, and I have experienced bodyguards. As a matter of fact, that’s the primary reason I asked to see you—since you’re working within a government budget, my family would like to supplement your resources.” She sounds entitled and bitterly resolved. This is where the whole meeting has been heading. “We will provide additional personnel and cutting-edge technology for as long as it takes to capture and punish those responsible for my father’s murder.”

Zhao Yunlan swallows his instinctive No fucking chance and holds Li Jiaqi’s gaze. He can feel Shen Wei’s eyes on him.

Zhao Yunlan would turn down the offer anyway, can think of nothing worse than trying to wrangle a bunch of trigger-happy wannabe action-heroes with no understanding of Dixingren, who would indiscriminately consider them a threat regardless of the actual danger they posed. But knowing that the Black-Cloaked Envoy would never countenance working with them, that it would be just the excuse Shen Wei needs to back out of their new arrangement and go back to working alone, means it’s no choice at all.

He puts on his best politely stubborn expression. “That’s an extremely generous offer, Ms Li, but police work and private security don’t mix. Rest assured, my team are handling it. We’ll capture those responsible and ensure they’re dealt with to the full extent of the law, I promise you.”

Li Jiaqi’s expression turns icy. She’s clearly used to getting her way.

Zhao Yunlan has to nip this in the bud. If Li Jiaqi sends her private vengeance squad blundering around, Zhu Jiu will obliterate them, and that will only result in more anger and panic. The Xingdu Bureau might send in troops. Zhao Yunlan keeps his tone respectful but firm, and hopes like hell Minister Gao hasn’t promised her anything behind the SID’s back. “I’m sorry to have to say this, but if I find anyone involving themselves unofficially in the investigation, I will charge them with obstruction.”

She looks at Shen Wei again and raises an eyebrow. “What’s your opinion, Professor Shen? Is the Special Investigation Department capable of dealing with this on its own?”

Shen Wei doesn’t hesitate. “Yes.”

She stares at him, clenching her jaw, then deliberately slides her sunglasses back on. “Keep me updated,” she tells Zhao Yunlan.

That’s not how investigations work, of course, but Zhao Yunlan nods anyway. Perhaps she’ll be easier to deal with once the initial grief and shock have receded.

“We should get back to work.” He stands up to leave. “Once again, we’re very sorry for your loss.”


*


They sit in the car outside the Li house. Shen Wei is silent in the passenger seat beside him, and when Zhao Yunlan glances across, he’s facing straight ahead, lost in his thoughts. Zhao Yunlan’s gaze traces his eyelashes, the line of his cheekbones, the stubborn set of his mouth, trying to see the Black-Cloaked Envoy in the Professor’s face and finding him there surprisingly easily.

He’d joked to Shen Wei about his heartache at being lied to, but there’d been some truth behind the teasing. He does feel like an idiot for not figuring it out sooner. For fussing over Shen Wei’s pricked finger, and rescuing him from human muggers, and dragging him in to be interrogated like the ordinary person he kept claiming to be. For wanting him so desperately, and believing that Shen Wei wanted him too.

He’s the Envoy. His sole concern is protecting the Hallows. He didn’t come to Haixing to date!

Zhao Yunlan leans back against the headrest and closes his eyes, reviewing the meeting with Li Jiaqi in an attempt to change mental tracks, but it all twists together. You think it’s a coincidence? she’d sneered, just as Zhao Yunlan had derided Shen Wei’s constant deflections. And Zhao Yunlan had lied to her, telling her the attack on the wedding had been carried out with a device—because she wasn’t ready to hear the truth of more strange, frightening Dixing powers; because her people would be either helpless or too brutal in this fight; because it was the SID’s job to protect civilians and innocents.

Had those been Shen Wei’s reasons for working alone as the Envoy?

“Did you mean it when you said the SID can handle Zhu Jiu?” Zhao Yunlan asks into the quiet, more harshly than he intends.

Shen Wei blinks, roused from his reverie. “What? Yes, of course.” He seems serious and sincere—as well as confused by the question.

“So, before, when you were hiding the truth, trying to sideline us, it wasn’t—” He can’t get the question out; it’s too revealing. Did Shen Wei see the SID team as helpless? Had he only agreed to work with them to protect them from their own blundering? Does he think so little of Zhao Yunlan, even now?

“Zhao Yunlan.” Shen Wei meets his gaze and his eyes are clear; there’s no trace of his earlier annoyance now. “Zhu Jiu, and whoever may be behind him—they are a significant threat. The SID can’t defeat them alone, and neither could I. But if we work together—”

“—we can keep our city safe,” Zhao Yunlan finishes for him. His tension drains away. Whatever grievance Shen Wei had been nursing earlier, it hadn’t been because he didn’t want to work together. “And we will.”

“Yes.” Shen Wei smiles slightly. “We will.”

Zhao Yunlan grins back, his mood rising like a balloon, and he makes a mental note to call Wang Zheng when he gets a private moment. He’d been planning to give Shen Wei a few days to get used to his new official status before announcing it to the rest of the team, but now he thinks the sooner the better. He wants them all together, his people. His family. And nothing brings people together like sharing a meal.

Shen Wei looks away, pensive again, and Zhao Yunlan doesn’t even try to keep from reaching out and gripping his shoulder. “All right?”

It’s impossible to tell how much meeting with the bereaved daughter of Zhu Jiu’s latest victim has affected Shen Wei, or if something else entirely is on his mind. Adjusting to this new modus operandi, the threat of private security hunting down Dixingren, or one of his other mysteries. Zhao Yunlan’s under no illusion he’s uncovered all Shen Wei’s secrets. But Shen Wei accepts his touch, even leans into it slightly, and dips his head in a slight nod. “All right,” he agrees.

And if it’s not true yet, Zhao Yunlan knows that now they’re working together, it will be in the end. They’ll get Zhu Jiu somehow, and as for the two of them and what’s growing between them, well, the Envoy might be here for the Hallows, but even he can’t be on duty all the time. They’re still them. “All right,” he says again, and presses the ignition.



END