Title: Heroes Go Hungry
Fandom: Guardian
Rating: Teen
Length: 2k words
Content notes: Child Shen Wei POV, Shen Wei & Ye Zun. Explicit cannibalism. Hurt/comfort.
Author notes: Not fully beta'd but looked over by Mal and Bee.
Summary: Canon divergence. The brothers haven't seen food in days.



The brothers haven't seen food in days, but Ye Zun is a lot weaker than Shen Wei. He needs to eat — they both do, but Shen Wei is more concerned with his twin than himself. They drink the last of their water and trudge on.

The boys are both dirty, exhausted, and weak. They push through the rocky, torn landscape because the only alternative is to give up, and Shen Wei isn't going to let Ye Zun die.

"I am selfish," Ye Zun chokes out. He is leaning heavily against Shen Wei's side as they stumble on. Ye Zun coughs then, thin and weak, his slight body shaking like the wind itself.

Shen Wei holds him tighter. "Why would you say that?"

"I should tell you to go on without me," Ye Zun says quietly. Then he trips to the ground and all Shen Wei can do is break his fall. Ye Zun looks up at him with helpless, reddened eyes. "But I can't. Don't leave me, Gege." He coughs again, harder and more painfully.

"I won't. Not ever." Fierce, desperate love makes the words crack in Shen Wei's dry throat.

Ye Zun nods and reaches for him, face determined. Shen Wei helps him back to his feet. If they don't keep going, they'll never find an encampment. They know one is somewhat close, having seen smoke on the horizon, a promise of other people. They've been following that promise blindly, but Shen Wei doesn't know what they'll discover. Hopefully, there will be civil and kind people willing to share food in exchange for work. Shen Wei is healthy, or will be once he's eaten again, and will do anything to save his brother.

They have been climbing a steep, rocky hill so they can get a better look, but the exertion is almost too much.

"Okay, Didi?" Shen Wei asks.

"I am so tired," Ye Zun says.

"Don't worry," Shen Wei, and tells him again, "I'll never leave you alone." Don't leave me alone, he wants to beg.

"Stop there," a loud voice says, and Shen Wei looks up from where he's holding his brother. A man stands there, a warrior by the look of him. His clothes are made for fighting, for intimidation. The stranger says something about Shen Wei looking gifted, which makes no sense to him, and that he wants to be followed. He's Dixingren, probably one of the rebels. Shen Wei doesn't like fighting or violence, but his stomach is too hollow to care.

Is there food? Shen Wei wonders. But then he sees the blood on the man's hand. Not just a fighter, but maybe a killer. The part of Shen Wei who wants to be righteous and heroic is conflicted. Ye Zun is ill and hungry, and they are just children in a 'messed up world', as the stranger called it. If they follow the man, surely there will be some kind of-

Ye Zun coughs hard and goes weak again.

"Okay? What's wrong?" Shen Wei asks, and watches as his brother falls unconscious once more.

"Passed out," the man says in laughing disgust. "What a shit." He kneels at Ye Zun's side. "Let me see." He reaches with his dirty, bloody hands and Shen Wei's protectiveness flares.

"Don't touch him!" Shen Wei says, slapping the man's hand away. "Don't even hurt a hair!"

"How dare you hit me!" the man growls, then grabs him. His large hand is harsh and too-strong around Shen Wei's throat. He picks up him like that, jerking him over to the cliff's edge. Shen Wei can't fight a hardened warrior without a weapon or skill. He's helpless, and he yells in panic as he feels himself falling, falling to his death.

---

Shen Wei wakes. He was not expecting that. He doesn't know how long it's been, but he knows he has to get back to his brother.

He trips over something, and when he digs it up out of the earth, finds it's a long-handled blade. Perfect. It's large, but not as heavy as it looks. It seems to fit into his hands like it was meant to be there. He gives it a few cuts through the air, impressed at the way the old weapon handles.

Hunger gnaws at his belly, and there's a weakness in his body that wasn't there before his fall. He thinks, vaguely, that his dark energy saved him, healed him somehow, but now he is tapped out. His mind works sluggishly, but his determination wins. The blade helps; he uses it as a walking stick, for balance as he climbs back.

He makes his way back up the hill, but when he gets to the cliff, his brother and the angry man are both gone. Did the rebel warrior throw Ye Zun over, as well? Should he go back down to search?

But then he looks up and sees smoke. It's closer than the smoke they saw the day before but smaller. A camp, maybe. Hopefully, he will find his brother there.

Shen Wei hurries ahead, as quiet as he can, and then hides behind some thick, low bushes. He waits, impatient but practical, until he sees the man standing in the firelight, adding sticks to the flames. His brother is slumped nearby. He looks asleep, but there are trails of tears through the dirt on his face. Shen Wei sets his jaw and narrows his eyes at the man.

The man already tried to kill him once, and he looks to be a seasoned warrior. Shen Wei may have a weapon now, but he's still outclassed by size and skill. He doesn't know what the man wants with his brother, but he doubts he'll just go away and leave them alone if Shen Wei asks him to.

The strange man gives his sleeping brother a contemplative look. Shen Wei doesn't like it. The fire crackles.

Shen Wei waits for the sun to go down farther, then circles around the camp. He sneaks up behind the man, moving slow and steady. His arms are weak and his knees feel like water, but he perseveres.

He lunges suddenly, all his strength and power at once, like a bird of prey snatching a rodent from a field. He stabs forward and into the man's back, and the blade moves through his body quickly. Shen Wei doesn't know if it's dark energy or some mystical property of the weapon that does it, but the man falls dead into the fire.

Shen Wei pulls the bloodied blade free, drops it, and rushes to his brother's side. He kneels down beside him and takes Ye Zun's dirty face in his hands. "Didi?"

Ye Zun doesn't answer, not right away. His eyelids twitch, but when he finally slits open his eyes, they are glassy and unseeing. He's very ill. His skin is pale and clammy.

Shen Wei pulls his brother's head into his lap and bends over him. "You must get better. Look, I'm here. Your gege's here. I didn't leave you. Please wake up."

He brushes what dirt he can away from Ye Zun's white clothing. He pets his hair. He pleads with him to wake, his voice getting higher and more desperate as it goes on.

He is crying over his twin when an alluring scent hits him, making his mouth water. He turns his head to look, thinking maybe he missed seeing the man put food on the fire.

Shen Wei swallows hard when he realizes what he's smelling. The man is in the fire, burning, but not. Cooking.

Ye Zun makes a soft sound and Shen Wei's head whips back around guiltily. He…

He can't. He shouldn't think of it. But Ye Zun is so weak, his body so ill and close to giving up. Shen Wei's pure stubbornness won't save him, but maybe this can.

It wouldn't be easy to cut with the oversized weapon, but Shen Wei finds a hunting knife on the dead man's belt, along with a skin of fresh water.

He lets his focus narrow down to nothing but the effort of slicing the man's blistered calf. Soon there is a pile of succulent looking — and smelling — food. His own mouth waters even as he feels sick with guilt, but Ye Zun is the weaker one. He should get the meat.

Shen Wei settles at his side and feeds it to him, bit by bit, his fingers carefully pushing the hot, dripping food past his brother's lips. They haven't had a warm meal in weeks. At first, it's difficult because Ye Zun doesn't respond, but soon he is chewing and swallowing as he should. Shen Wei is cautious not to give him too much. He'll get sick if he overeats. Shen Wei tilts his head to pour water from the skin against his lips, letting it trickle in carefully. Then he wipes Ye Zun's mouth for him and puts the water away.

There is still a lot of sliced meat left over. Shen Wei eyes it hungrily. It's roasted well, like good pork. He licks his dry lips and takes a sip of water, instead. It… it is one thing for his brother to eat when he needs it so badly and doesn't know what he's doing. The sin is Shen Wei's, for giving it to him. Isn't it worse to eat a person when you know what it is?

He shakes his head. He's already done bad things. He's not sure if killing the man was right, but it certainly wasn't good. Feeding his brother was a necessity. Is feeding himself as necessary?

He wants to do what is right. Maybe killing the man was right. Maybe feeding his brother was right. He tries to think, to wonder, what a hero would do. But is the righteous choice best?

Shen Wei is starving.

Just once he will do this. Tonight they can sleep with full bellies, and tomorrow maybe they can continue on to the settlement. Shen Wei won't be able to care for his brother if he doesn't care for his own body. He would like it to be otherwise, but suffering in this instance would just hurt Ye Zun in the long run. How would he feel to wake up to a dead brother? Shen Wei promised not to leave him alone.

A hero would go hungry, but Shen Wei is not a hero.

He puts the meat to his mouth, still hesitant, but then the flavor hits his tongue and he bites down. Hunger truly is the best spice. He's never tasted anything so good. He chews and swallows and eats more.

He carefully does not think of what his parents would say. They are gone. He must survive to protect his twin.

He looks over at Ye Zun to check on him. His brother's eyes are closed again, but his breathing is more relaxed. He's sleeping comfortably now.

The sun is down. The man is still burning in the fire, the scent going acrid.

Shen Wei finishes the slices of meat and wipes his hands and mouth. He doesn't understand his emotions, thinks maybe he should feel worse. He killed someone. He ate someone.

All he feels is relief and a strange sort of satisfaction in a job well done.

He's exhausted. All his energy is depleted, and it hits him at once that he needs sleep. He doesn't bother getting up, just crawls to his brother's side and slumps against him.

Ye Zun's even breaths lull him to sleep.

---

Later, Ye Zun doesn't remember, or at least pretends he doesn't. Sometimes Shen Wei catches his brother looking at him with a strange smile that can't be explained.

And Ye Zun has nightmares of being alone at times, comes awake crying and screaming and reaching for him. Shen Wei chases his bad dreams away and fervently promises he'll never leave.

Ye Zun won't be left alone under any circumstances. Shen Wei knows now, knows he doesn't have limits to what he will do for his twin.

END