Title: Digging Deep
Fandom: Lord of the Rings RPF
Pairing: Sean Astin/Elijah Wood
Rating: PG
Length: 300 words (a tribble)
Warnings: Major angst
Summary: Elijah's stunning performance stems from a broken heart.
Author notes: Takes place during principle filming of Peter Jackson's Lord of the Rings Trilogy. As far as I know, Elijah's affair with Sean Astin is fiction.

Elijah valiantly held back the tears that threatened to fall. "You said you loved me, Sean. We made love. Didn't that mean anything to you?"

"Of course it did," Sean said, "but I'm committed to Christine and my marriage. You knew I was married. I never lied to you about that."

"But I thought," Elijah began, then realized Sean was right. All the plans he'd made had been a fantasy, his fantasy. When filming was over, Sean would go home to his wife and daughter, and he'd go home to the life he'd had before, alone. What happens in New Zealand stays in New Zealand.

The call for Elijah to be on set saved him from having to continue this painful conversation and he gratefully went to do his scene. Luck was with him; it was a dramatic scene so he wouldn't have to put on a smile and pretend to be happy. Elijah put everything he was feeling into his performance, and when Peter checked the gate, he heard the sound of applause coming from the crew.

"That was remarkable, Elijah," the director told him. "It amazes me that someone so young can dig down so deeply into himself and bring out that kind of emotion."

Elijah took the compliment. It was much easier than confessing that it had been his conversation with Sean that had brought all his emotions bubbling to the surface. Peter didn't need to know that his tears had been real and not manufactured for the camera.

Well how about that, Elijah mused. Who knew losing a lover could make you a better actor? So every cloud did have a silver lining.

But even if the performance Sean had inspired won him an Oscar, it wouldn't make up for the pain Elijah was feeling now.