Title: Contemplating Foul Play
Fandom: Legends of Tomorrow
Pairing/Characters: Cat Zari, Len Snart, Charlie. Past Len/Mick
Challenge: Promise (and the Air square on my bingo card)
Rating: PG
Length: 706
Summary: Legends of To-Meow-Meow. Zari and Len discuss who on the team they'd like to murder.


Contemplating Foul Play:

Len’s fingers flex lightly against Zari’s fur. She can barely feel his touch. He’s not even really there. It’s like getting petted by air. Still, she purrs encouragement, then points out, “You could stick around when John’s here.”

“Before or after you murder him?”

“After wouldn’t do you much good,” Zari points out before she starts licking her paw. She stops. Why is she still a cat? “I can’t see you when I’m human.”

“They can’t either. Only one person has, but he thought I was a hallucination.”

“John might be able to see you,” Zari encourages.

“He checked the ship for ghosts and such when he first came on board.”

“All that means is you’re not a ghost,” Zari decides. She bumps his hand with her head when he stops petting her.

“Demanding,” he chides. “Or perhaps magic can’t help in this situation.”

“What the situation?” she prods.

“The Good Professor thought I was a Time Remnant, right before he performed brain surgery on my partner,” he sneers.

Zari’s tails swishes. She wants to say that she misses Stein, but she doesn’t want to offend Len. She called him Leo when she first saw him and he immediately vanished for a long time. She doesn’t have anyone else that she can complain about Charlie and John’s continued belief that they can just leave the timeline broken. She really just wants to dig her claws into their faces. Her tail swishes more violently as she thinks about it.

“Need to be a little more subtle on the homicidal ideations, someone will catch on,” Len chides.

“I don’t care if they catch on,” she grumbles.

“These things should be meticulously planned.”

“Your whole plan for Ray is to have me punch him in the face next time I’m human,” she reminds dryly.

“Yes, but Raymond won’t see that coming. You should promise me you’ll punch Nathaniel too.”

“Mick likes Nate and Ray,” she protests, then admits, “He was upset that Nate left without saying goodbye, but I think getting Charlie to punch him helped with that.”

“It’d make me feel better to punch him in the face too,” Len reassures.

“Then we should see what John says,” Zari tries

“So it can be broken in the next timeline fix?”

Zari groans, “So after they finally realized they have to undo John’s breakup.”

“They’re stubborn, this could take a while.”

Zari agrees, then asks, “Why do you want to murder Ray and Nate?”

His fingers still as he makes a considering noise. Zari glares. He apologizes and starts petting her again. She purrs.

“Raymond thought being partners meant my gun and coat, not what we’d meant to each other. He was caught up in his own self-absorption that he didn’t realize what he was on offer and in doing so sullied the offer.”

“He didn’t affect what you and Mick had,” Zari points out.

“He had my partner emotionally replace me with a rat.”

“Axl was a delicious looking rat!” Zari defends. She tilts her heads and thinks about her words when Len arches an eyebrow. Then she amends, “Adorable rat, he was an adorable rat. Being a cat is weird.”

Len makes a considering noise.

“And Nate?” Zari prods.

Len leans his head back and frowns. “While I appreciate the times that he saved Mick’s life, he didn’t stick around to continue to be a built proof vest for my partner.”

“Seriously?”

“I’m prettier,” Len sneers.

“I think you mean you’re petty,” Zari corrects.

“That too,” Len concedes. “Your reasons aren’t any better.”

“They broke time and I’m stuck as a cat! They’re lucky all I want to do is murder them!”

Before Len can comment the entrance to the jump ship opens and he disappears quickly. Charlie steps in, grinning, “Listen to you purring up a storm. Happy to see me Z?”

“No. Where’s John?”

“There was a slight delay,” Charlie stalls.

“Delay?”

“With that Time Agent he likes to seduce,” Charlie elaborates.

“Is he delaying us to get laid?”

“No!” Charlie says too quickly.

“I’m going to kill him,” Zari hisses as she bolts for the door. She growls when Charlie grabs and reprimands her. “I’m going to kill you too! And Ray! And Nate!”