Fandom: Torchwood

Characters: Jack, Ianto

Author: m_findlow

Rating: M

Length: 976 words

Content notes: contains slash

Author notes: Written for Challenge 232 - On top

Summary: Ianto wants to take their relationship to the next level but is finding it difficult to ask.

Ianto let out a little sigh of pleasure as Jack continued planting kisses along his jawline, travelling from lips to neck, paying special attention to the spot just under his ear that he knew Ianto liked. Jack knew all Ianto's special spots, but this was his favourite, particularly for its ease of access to his lips.

As Jack's hands began their explorations in earnest, preparing for what came next, Ianto stopped his wandering fingers.

'Jack?'

'Mmm?' he replied, still letting his lips drift over Ianto's chest, leaving feathery kisses. Who said he couldn't multi-task? Right now he was giving pleasure and taking requests.

'Could I maybe, um... if it's okay with you, er...'

Jack stopped what he was doing to look up, leaning an arm casually across Ianto's chest as he lay on top of him.

'I mean... well, what I'm trying to say is... I was wondering, perhaps...'

Jack pressed two fingers over his lips, silencing him temporarily. 'What is it?' It was the nice way of asking Ianto to just plainly say what was on his mind. He couldn't bear to have Ianto stumbling so helplessly over his words when he was usually so eloquent and to the point.

Ianto sucked in a little breath to prepare himself. 'I was just thinking... maybe I could go top for once?' There was a nervous little upward inflection at the end of the sentence.

Jack pulled back slightly, so that he could try to properly read the expression on Ianto’s face in the semi dark. The comment caught him completely by surprise. 'Ianto, you do know that being on top is very different, don't you?'

'Of course,' he said, feeling a little braver for having finally just gotten the words out. He was well acquainted with the physical aspects of insert peg A into slot B. He'd just never been slot B.

'I mean, I'm not saying it's not pleasurable.' Jack gave a little smirk. 'Believe me, when it's done right, it's very, very pleasurable.'

'I'm sure it is.' He didn't dare cast aspersions about whether he'd been doing it right enough to qualify, but if Jack had been making those noises for his benefit solely, then he was a very good actor indeed.

'Ianto, all I'm saying is that this is a big thing. Are you sure you're ready for this?'

He knew what Jack was trying to say. Fucking someone was one thing. Being fucked by someone else was giving yourself to that person, knowing that they cared enough to not only be careful with you, but to give you pleasure as well. That was the reason he wanted it. He wanted to show Jack that he trusted him enough. It was crossing something of a line, going that next step. Yes, perhaps he'd already crossed it just by having relations with another man, but this was committing to it completely. At the same time however, Jack's reaction to the request was making him doubt the decision.

Ianto shifted slightly. 'You know what? It's fine. It doesn't matter. We can just do what we normally do.' In other words, Jack could let Ianto treat him like an object; a way to get off without having to give much in return. By the time he got that close to the edge, it really didn't matter if it was a man or a woman he was screwing, just so long as it got him all the way to the gratifying end.

Jack sat up on his elbow. 'No, it does matter. They say it takes two to tango, and there's two of us in this,' he was going to say relationship, but the word felt odd on his tongue so he left it off. 'That means that whatever you want counts just as much as whatever I want. If you want to be on top, then that's fine. I just don't want you to feel like you have to just to please me.'

'I don't,' he replied. 'I mean, I do... want to please you... physically... no, that's come out all wrong. You know, I should probably just stop talking.'

Jack chuckled, pulling his hips closer. 'Yes, you probably should,' he said, though loving the way he could get Ianto all tongue-tied and confused, so unlike his usually unflappable demeanor. 'I much prefer it when I've got you reduced to indecipherable one syllable sounds.'

'I bet you do,' Ianto said, though he said it in jest and wasn't sulking. 'You'd tell me if I wasn't doing it right, right?'

Jack laughed again. 'Ianto, when you're on top, it's all about doing whatever feels good for you. Being on the bottom, everything feels good. When you go top, you have to find what works for you. It's harder work, but it's worth it. If that's what you want, then I'm not going to deny you.' He didn't think he could deny Ianto anything.

'I might need a few goes to get it right.'

'You can have as many goes as you like.' Jack couldn't deny that it would be nice to have their roles reversed. He liked having Ianto inside him, but finally getting to show Ianto just how much it meant to make love to him like that would be something special indeed. He'd count it as a milestone, wishing he'd marked all of the others along the way that had lead them to this.

'Be gentle, yeah?' There was such an innocence in the question, the fear still there.

'I can't make it any smaller,' Jack joked, 'but you call the shots. If you're not ready or it's too much, you just say the word. The first time is always a little tricky, and sore afterwards, but it gets better, I promise.'

'That's what I'm hoping,' Ianto replied, a small smile creeping across his face.