Fandom: Torchwood

Characters: Ianto, Jack, OC

Author: m_findlow

Rating: PG

Length: 1,738 words

Content notes: Minor spoilers for BigFinish audioplay Broken

Author notes: Written for Challenge 229 - Truth or dare

Summary: Ianto finds the weight of so many versions of the truth overwhelming.


Ianto groaned as he saw the message on his phone. Bollocks. Why tonight of all nights?

'Anything important, love?' his mum asked.

'I've go to go into work,' he announced, watching the look of disappointment wash over his mum's face, sat comfortably in her favourite armchair. As soon as the next ad break came on she'd been promising to make them tea.

'At this hour?' she asked.

'It's sort of an international desk,' he replied. 'Stuff comes through from... other places, at all hours. I just have to be there to handle it when it does.'

'Well, if you say so.'

'I do. Say so,' he added, feeling awful.

'Well, you'd better get on then. Don't want you getting into trouble with your boss.'

No, he was already good at doing that all on his own, he thought. 'I'm really sorry.'

'It's fine. It's only "Strictly". I'd be off to bed after that anyway.'

'That's not what I meant.' It wasn't about the show. It was about just being here together, terrified he might lose her they way they'd lost his dad.

'Well, you can come round for tea again next week. I made bara brith for supper, but it'll keep. I know how much you love it. I even got some of that nice salted butter to go on top.'

He hated how she could spoil him like this when all he did was let her down. 'I could... take you to that appointment next week,' he offered. If there was going to be bad news, he needed to be there. He didn't care how much she downplayed it.

'That'd be nice. And don't tell your sister a word,' she said narrowing her eyes at him. 'She always knows when you're lying. Terrible poker face, you have.'

'I've gotten better,' he said. How many lies had he told tonight already? 'I will make it up to you, I promise. And I won't say a word.' He'd told so many lies, so why did this one feel so wrong? Rhi was better at this stuff than him, but it was nice coming home to such a familiar old house, feeling its memories wrap around him like a blanket. After everything he'd been through these past six months, it felt safe being here. He didn't really want to leave, truth be told, but that was Torchwood. It didn't care what suited you.

'Alright, off with you then,' she said shooing him towards the door.

He paused before she had him out the door altogether. Before he could change his mind he hugged her. 'I love you.'

'A hug and an "I love you"?' she said, finally pulling back. 'Now I know you're worried, silly boy. Don't be. I'll see you next week,' she said, planting a kiss on his cheek. 'Appointment's at eleven. Parking at the hospital will be a bloody nightmare, mind. You can get time off work can't you?'

'I'll be here at ten,' he promised.



When he pulled up outside the block of flats, the SUV was already there, its blue lights flashing along the edges of the windscreen. Jack was standing next to it.

'Where were you? I've been waiting here for ten minutes,' he said.

'I was out.'

'Out?' Jack raised his eyebrows, hands shoved deep inside his coat pockets. 'Like on a date, out?'

Ianto couldn't help but roll his eyes at the curious show of jealousy. 'I was having tea at my mum's.'

Another expression of surprise crossed Jack's face. 'Your mum?'

'Yes, Jack. Is that so hard to believe?' The idea that he'd been out on a date seemed utterly ridiculous by comparison.

'No. It's just that... I didn't know your mum was still around.'

'Well, you haven't exactly stopped to ask have you?' He wished it hadn't come out as harsh as it sounded.

Point taken, Jack thought. 'You have other family?'

'My sister, her hopelessly unemployed husband, my nephew, David, age seven, niece, Mica age four, and a smattering of more distant cousins and other relations I never see. How far back on my genealogical tree would you like me to go?'

'Your dad?' he asked, having picked up the omission.

'Dead. Cancer.' His tone suggested he didn't want to discuss it further.

'Sorry.'

'I was eighteen. Doesn't matter,' he said, brushing it off. He caught the strange look Jack gave him. 'What? '

'It's just... you said you had nothing in your life. All of that doesn't sound like nothing.'

'Suppose. Now, did you need something?' he asked, turning business like.

'I could call one of the others if this is a bad time,' Jack said.

'But you didn't.' He didn't wait for Jack to say anything, just walking over to the car and getting in. Jack followed and quickly pulled out onto the road.

'I thought you wanted to be more involved?' Jack asked, trying to fill the awkward silence as he drove them towards the docks.

'I did,' Ianto replied sharply. He shut his eyes and took a breath. 'I do,' he corrected himself before Jack changed his mind about bringing Ianto along, leaving him back at his flat to wallow in the mess that was his life.

Jack frowned and watched him cautiously. 'What's wrong?' He knew it was impossible to fix everything overnight, but he'd hoped that by involving Ianto in this late night rift retrieval, it might take his mind off other things. He knew all too well that nights could feel like an eternity when you were alone. This had seemed like the perfect opportunity to start breaking down those empty nights of solitude. At least he thought Ianto had been alone.

'It's nothing,' Ianto said, staring out the window.

'It's not nothing. Otherwise you would have said "nothing", not "it's nothing".' It was a fine distinction, but a distinction nonetheless. If he'd learned anything these last few weeks it was that Ianto didn't say much, but every word he did speak needed to be carefully thought about, searching for the meaning that was hidden underneath it.

Bollocks, Ianto thought, letting the sodium lights slip by outside in the darkness.

'Talk to me, Ianto. I hate that you think you can't tell me things.'

Did he dare to hope that Jack might understand? He claimed they were all broken, but it was still a hard pill to swallow, believing Jack hurt anywhere near as much as he did. Nothing in his life ever seemed to go right, whereas Jack seemed to dance through life. 'The doctors found a lump on her lung. She keeps saying it's nothing.'

'Your mum?'

Ianto nodded. 'If it's nothing then why won't she tell Rhiannon? Why do I have to be the one to keep all the secrets? It'll be just like Dad all over again. We kept thinking he was getting better. He seemed fine and then...' Before he knew it, the words were spilling out of him like water from a leaking tap. Jack pulled over and placed a hand on his knee, listening as Ianto continued to blather on, the rift alert long forgotten.

'I'm sorry. I don't mean to dump my problems on you, sir,' he apologised, once he'd finally gotten his runaway mouth back under control.

'Ianto, it's not dumping. It's what friends do, listen to your problems, try and help. We are friends, aren't we?'

That and more if the past two weeks were anything to go by, he thought. They'd slept together four times now. Why did everything in his life always have to happen all at once?

'Ianto?' Jack repeated, waiting for an answer.

'Yes, yes,' he said distractedly, trying to wave Jack off, feeling embarrassed about the admission.

'Do you need some time off? Is there anything I can do?'

Ianto let out a mirth filled laugh. 'Got a cure for cancer hidden away in the archives?' He should know better than Jack what was down there but it didn't hurt to ask.

'It might not be cancer,' he replied. There was always a chance, and even if it was, they might still be able to remove it. Modern medicine was pretty amazing.

'S'pose well find out soon enough,' he said, sounding as if he'd already accepted it as fact, fast forwarding to the worst case scenario.

'Not everything in your life is always going to be bad, Ianto. Try and stay positive. Look at all the good things you've still got. They found it early, so there's a good chance it's treatable. In any case you'll know more once they've taken a closer look. You've got your sister to help out with things. And you've got me. Whatever you need, just say the word.'

He looked up at Jack, looking for that false smile that he used to reassure complete strangers, but couldn't find it. Could it be true? It seemed like too much to hope for. He was so used to being alone that he didn't know how to lean on others. 'Where are your family, Jack?' He wasn't that much older than Ianto, a few years perhaps, but he realised that like Jack, he'd never asked the question.

'They're gone,' he replied, watching the traffic lights in the distance with intense concentration. 'All of them. My mum, my dad, and my brother. But it was a long time ago. I was younger than you when I lost my dad. Just a boy, really.'

He suddenly wished he hadn't asked. 'I'm sorry.'

Jack gave Ianto's knee another gentle squeeze. 'I try not to think about it. But I know that if I could have them back, I would in a heartbeat. I told Gwen not to let her life drift, now I'm telling you the same. Torchwood isn't more important than any of this.'

'I think it's still more important than "Strictly Come Dancing",' Ianto joked. He loved his mum, even if he didn't love the programs she liked to watch.

'Are you kidding?' Jack said. 'I love that show. What do you think I was doing before the rift alert came through?'

'You and my mum should watch it together, then.'

Jack smiled. 'Maybe some day we will. Once she's better.'

'Don't you dare,' Ianto warned. That was all he needed.

'Okay, okay,' Jack said, throwing his hands up in surrender. 'Maybe just you and me, then. Friends enjoying some trashy reality TV.'

'We'll see.'