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Original: poetry: cavern

  • Mar. 22nd, 2018 at 10:54 PM
Title: cavern
Form: Kyrielle (a French form of rhyming poetry written in quatrains; 8 syllables per line; three quatrain minimum; each quatrain contains a repeating line or phrase as a refrain)

Note: When I was a kid, I went to a summer camp that took us through wild caves in my home state. Beauty Cave is one of the largest, with some amazing formations that you can only see after a four-hour hike. btw, in speleology, "breakdown" refers to heaps of debris on the cave floor.


we were old hands, blase tourists
by the time we went to beauty
mud-stained, battered knees and bruised wrists
from the long crawls in the darkness

helmets dented from the ceilings
by the time we went to beauty
exercised beyond our feelings
of wonder at this dank wildness

and yet. climbing past the breakdown
by the time we went to beauty
I gazed into a crack, far down
and glimpsed a meaning for timeless

Comments

venturous: (Default)
[personal profile] venturous wrote:
Mar. 23rd, 2018 03:13 pm (UTC)
this is wonderful. the cave's name and the unusual words (breakdown) lend this so much layered meaning. As a gaia follower, this is a prayer. thanks for sharing

also, love the form, which I've never heard named, although I recognize the rhythm of it.

Edited 2018-03-23 03:15 pm (UTC)
teaotter: a girl in a pink coat that reads "anti social social club" (Default)
[personal profile] teaotter wrote:
Mar. 25th, 2018 02:33 am (UTC)
Thank you so much!

I got the form from this website. Like you, there are a number I can recognize when I read them, but I never knew the names!
smallhobbit: (butterfly)
[personal profile] smallhobbit wrote:
Mar. 23rd, 2018 08:51 pm (UTC)
Very evocative!
teaotter: a girl in a pink coat that reads "anti social social club" (Default)
[personal profile] teaotter wrote:
Mar. 25th, 2018 02:33 am (UTC)
Thanks!
mergatrude: (writing - poetry)
[personal profile] mergatrude wrote:
Mar. 25th, 2018 02:45 am (UTC)
Oh, I like this very much. The echoing line works well with the cave motif.

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