Title: Anywhere But Here
Author: JoJo (solosundance )
Fandom: Hawaii Five-O (2010)
Relationships: post Steve/Catherine, pre Steve/Danny, current Danny/Melissa
Characters: Steve McGarrett, Danny Williams, Melissa Armstrong
Rating: G
Wordcount: 2, 048
Challenge: Anywhere But Here

A/n: referencing eps 5.25, 6.01, 6.03, and 6.04 - not sure about the timeline but it works for me

Summary:  Danny’s in hospital minus some bone marrow when he hears.  Which isn’t the best place.


No sooner had Rachel pecked his cheek and left, the apparently revolving door of his hospital room opened again and Steve entered. 

On another occasion Danny might have been wryly amused.  There was a certain farcical symmetry in the departure from his bedside of the person he used to be in love with, within seconds of the arrival of the person he was now in love with.  I mean, there really was, wasn’t there? Had they met out in the hall?  Passed the time of day, been warm, frosty, something in between?  Any minute now Melissa was going to arrive and then he’d have a full set.

A flutter of nerves worried Danny’s gut.  He pulled himself up into a higher sitting position in the bed, the IV line tugging.

Steve arrived surprisingly gently given how he usually blew in and out of rooms. However, he had that look Danny remembered from before.  From Doris, home but not home, saying one thing and doing another.  Steve was all distracted concentration, jaw tight, every sinew poised, something “off” behind the eyes.  The look that meant something, somewhere, was unravelling.

Which, with everything Danny had not long heard from Chin, would make sense.

“Hey,” he said, light as he could, and raised his brows.  “You come bearing gifts.”

Steve held up the bag he was carrying.  “This,” he said with a fair attempt at a flourish, “is egg-plant parm - which I’m not allowed to take any credit for.”  He dumped it on the stand by the bed.  “With love from Lou.”

“Nice.”

“We caught a case, he had to go.”

“Sit,” Danny said, when Steve remained on his feet.   The invitation was ignored.

“How you doing?” Steve’s eyes roved up and down the bed, didn’t know where to land.  “Man, I really hate seeing you in here.  It’s the last place you should be.”

“I’m doing great.  Sit.”

“You look OK, you look good.”  Steve seemed mostly satisfied by that, if a tad jittery.  “And the little guy?”

“The little guy is doing really well, thank you.  He’ll be a few more days in here, but I should be able to leave tomorrow.”

“Excellent news.”

“So seriously, sit would you?  You’re giving me a crick in the neck looking up at you.”

“Well I don’t have long, I just wanted to see how you were doing.”

“Okay, well you can not have long sitting in the chair. At ease, Commander.”

Danny, who knew by now that he did not miss anything – not one thing – when it came to McGarrett, frowned at the way Steve lowered, reluctantly, into the chair.  At ease was the total opposite of what Steve was right now.  And that was not what Danny liked to see.  It tended not to bode well for anyone.

“Man, hospitals,” Steve said.

“Well you would know.”

“Right.”

“It’s not so bad.  Chin and Kono came in last night, with some actually OK pizza.  And there has been garlic shrimp.  More than once.”

“I’ll bet there has.”

Danny shook his head.  He wished he wasn’t sitting in this stupid bed talking inconsequential crap and feeling sore.  Steve was right, it was the last place either of them should be and he wished they were anywhere else – the office, on the lanai, bellied up to a bar, cruising in the Camaro. 

Somewhere, some fantasy place, where he could tell his heart, on equal terms, where he wasn’t vulnerable, and Steve wasn’t worried about him.

Although Jeez, as if worrying about Danny’s health was the worst thing going on with McGarrett right now.

“Listen, you big bozo,” Danny said, cross now.  “Chin and Kono told me about Catherine.”

Ow, direct hit.

It was always a risk, tipping Steve into talking about personal stuff when he wasn’t expecting it, but Catherine, of all topics, had lately seemed one he was prepared to share.  Up to a point. 

“Oh they did?  Well you don’t need to ask me about it then.”

“No, I do.  I do need to ask you about it.”

Steve’s jaw, if possible, tightened a bit more.  “She’s gone.”

“I know.  And?”

“And I told her I wouldn’t wait anymore.”  A wonderfully un-casual shrug.  “That’s it.”

Oh, that was very far from it. 

For a start Danny felt again the boil of anger in his veins.  Ever since Chin and Kono had left yesterday evening he’d been stewing.  Over Catherine’s utterly convincing, heartfelt ‘there’s nothing I want more’ about staying for good. Because, as it turned out, those utterly convincing, heartfelt words rang about as hollow as a big, fat drum.  There was definitely something she wanted more. 

It made Danny clench his own jaw to think she’d known she’d be leaving. All the time she was smooching Steve, and getting shit-faced at the wedding with him. 

Now, someone like Catherine would doubtless have reasons – reasons hard to argue with and not just about messing Steve up for the malicious pleasure of it – but Danny didn’t give a shit about reasons.  He only gave a shit about the pain his shmuck of a partner was in.  Again.

“It sucks,” he blurted, hating the inadequacy of the line.  “I’m sorry.”

“Yeah well.”  Steve worried a spot under his ear with a fingernail, slighly compulsive. It made Danny want to beat him with his pillow. And then kiss his face off for the longest time.

“Here’s the thing,” Danny said, his heart starting to race away from him.  He clamped shut his stupid, flapping mouth for a second.  How to explain that he would never, ever understand in a million years how Catherine Rollins, an intelligent, thinking human being with a fine appreciation for the good things and good people in life, could have rejected the man sitting next to him as a life partner.  More than once no less.  What?  What planet did she even come from?

“The thing?” Steve prompted, a growly impatience bleeding into his tone.

“You don’t deserve...” Danny began again and then stopped.  He put up a finger to indicate he wasn’t done, and searched for better words.  “Steven.”

“Yeah, I’m listening.”  There was a good deal of compulsive knee-jiggling going on.

Danny couldn’t help himself.  He reached out and clamped a hand down to stop it.  “You’re an idiot and I hate you.”

“Uh-huh,” Steve agreed, knee freezing under the touch.

“You’re an animal, and you’re very annoying to be with,” Danny blundered on.  “You’ve ruined my life in so many ways I can’t even begin to tell you.  But you’ve also given me these things I didn’t expect when I came here, and those things have turned out to be really, really... important to me.  For all the days I’ve wanted to murder you – and those have been legion, believe me – there have been many others when I was just so happy... so happy to have met you.  To be with you.  And for all her great, altruistic reasons, I will still never get why Catherine’s thrown away the chance to have that.”

“She needs more than a relationship can give her right now.”

“Hoah. Am I allowed to call bullshit?”

“Catherine is a good person.”

“Catherine is a very good person.”

“She’s allowed to want what she wants, Danny.”

“Oh would you please..?”  Danny released the knee, chopped at it, futzed irritably in the bed.  “Can you not be a little mad at her? You know, just a tiny amount? Your being so understanding is really the most annoying thing about this.  I like when I see your very small, almost imperceptible, human side, Steve, and I don’t see it right now.”

“What wouldn’t I understand? I know what the need to serve is all about.  Why should it be any different for her?”

Frankly, Equal Opportunities Commander was starting to get on Danny’s last nerve. 

“Excuse me a moment,” he clipped out.  “Along with this need to serve – which I get, by the way – have you ever, in all the times you’ve packed your kit bag and headed to the airport on some insane suicide mission, knowingly stomped all over the raw, bleeding heart of someone who’s in love with you?  And not just once, but twice?”

OK, so it was a slightly sneaky question. 

“Uh, no,” Steve said at last, as if he’d been missing a trick somewhere, “No, I don’t think so.  But I do think there’s a big, fat flaw in your argument.”

“Oh really.  This should be good.”

“The thing is,” Steve said, “I feel like shit that she’s gone, Danny, I do.  She’s, like, Cath, you know?  I’ve known her for years and I love her.  You know that, man, I was ready to marry her.  But she’s not... I’m not.  It’s not that.”

Not that.  Not what?  And seriously, what was ‘ready’ all about?  What was wrong with ‘wanted with all my lunatic heart and soul’?

“No,” Danny said, not sure whether he should be agreeing or disagreeing at this point, and trying not to let his own lunatic heart and soul hammer right out of his chest.  “It’s that being stomped on and lied to sucks.  And you’re tired of it happening over and over.  And I’m so tired of it for you.  So tired, Steve.”  He spread his hands.  “And that’s it, that’s all I got.” 

“Eh,” Steve said, leaning back in the chair with a sigh. “Aside from her doing what she has to do, I’m guessing some of it was the job.  And some of was me because of the job.  And some of it was just, y’know, me.”

Danny could have genuinely picked up his pillow and chewed on it with frustration to hear him. The last statement had been so matter-of-fact.

“OK,” he said.  “Listen. I get why some of it was the job, and the particularly crazy way you do the job.  But I have to tell you, what I don’t get is that any of it was just, y’know... you.”

“I thought that would be the only part you’d get.”

“Come on.”

“You’re nice to say so, Danny, but let’s face it.” Steve gestured vaguely.  “Anywhere but here.”

“No,” Danny said, knowing he was thinking of his mother, too.  “Now no, Steven, absolutely no.”

But on the button, babe, he thought.  They keep leaving you and so help me one day, in some other place, I’m going to show you what you could have to make up for it.

Which was when they were interrupted by a nurse holding a blood pressure cuff – of all ridiculously appropriate things.

“Goodness,” she said.  “It’s time for... what’s going on in here?”

“I’m sorry,” Steve said, jumping up.  He looked adorably mortified, and Danny was, to be honest, out of breath and probably giving every impression he was running a fever.

She looked between them, as if trying to decide what she was seeing.

“Well, I’m not sure this is the place.”

Danny barked out a laugh.  “Right,” he said.

“I was just going,” Steve added.  “He’s doing good, right?”

“Everything looks fine.”

Not from my position, Danny thought.

The person he used to be in love with had lied to him. The person he was now in love with had been lied to by the person he thought he was in love with, but actually wasn’t. 

How was any of this fine?

He slumped back on the pillows, almost done with it.

“Listen, man, I should go,” Steve said and Danny felt a hand, perfect, cup his cheek for a second. “You get some rest.”

“Call me,” Danny managed to get out before the nurse and her cuff got in the way of Steve’s broad back retreating.

He closed his eyes for a second.

It wasn’t long before a hand, soft, cupped his cheek again.  The revolving door had spun once more, and Melissa kissed him on the lips hello.

Oh, God.

The person he was supposed to be in love with.

“Full set,” he blurted out and when he opened his eyes hers were wide.

“What?”

“Never mind.” 

Probably the most forgiving person in the world, Melissa sat in the chair and laced her fingers through his.  “I really hate seeing you in here. This is just the last place you should be.”

“Babe,” he said, squeezing her hand way too tight.  “You know what?  You’re absolutely right.”


-ends-