Title: The Oldest Mistake
Fandom: Star Trek: the Original Series
Rating: G
Characters: Kirk, Spock
Length: 314 words
Content notes: none
Summary: Spock thinks he is strong enough to reject Jim until they meet Reyna.


It was late at night, but Spock knew where to find Jim.

"Are you joining me?" Jim asked with a smile as Spock entered the observatory.

"The last mission is stressful," Spock replied. "As first officer, it is my duty to concern for the crew's welfare." Especially yours.

As usual, Jim read between the lines and laughed. "You have a way with understatement, Mr. Spock, but don't worry, I'm handling."

He bit his lips. "I'm thinking... We have faced triumph and failure together. You are the person who knows me most, and I like to think that we are good together.

"Jim," Spock interrupted, but Jim continued, "Will you get together with me? As a couple?"

Jim looked so hopeful and vulnerable that Spock hated what he had to say . "We cannot." No matter how much he wanted otherwise, a relationship would destroy them.

"Why?" The light in Jim's eyes was dying, but Spock had to be strong for them both.

"I regret that my answer remains the same."

Spock half expected and feared that Jim would argue further, but he only smiled tiredly. "It's all right. I can take no for an answer."

Sock wondered why the air suddenly felt cold when Jim turned to the window, but soon Jim steered the conversation to their future mission and the ship. Spock had no idea how much he missed the warmth in Jim’s eyes and voice until it was gone.

Spock tried to tell himself it was what he wanted, until Jim danced with Rayna, clearly besotted with her beauty.

He recalled his words: Having may not be so pleasing a thing after all as wanting. However, when Jim was about to kiss Rayna, Spock felt like a desert traveller without water for days, only to discover that the oasis ahead was a mirage.

Kadith, he repeated to himself, but his thirst burnt.