Title: Poor Dog
Fandom: FAKE
Author: badly_knitted
Characters: Dee, Ryo, OFC, Dog.
Rating: PG
Setting: After the manga.
Summary: Out for a walk on a windy day, Dee and Ryo come across a lost dog with a rather unfortunate name.
Word Count: 1488
Content Notes: None needed.
Written For: Challenge 206: Name.
Disclaimer: I don’t own FAKE, or the characters. They belong to the wonderful Sanami Matoh.




It was a blustery day in early fall, not the kind of weather Dee would usually choose to venture out in if he didn’t have to, because it messed up his hair unless he used a ton more gel than usual, which he’d rather not. He preferred not to look like he’d spent ages styling it, even if he had. But despite the strong winds, the sky was blue and almost cloudless, and after a week of rainy days spent mostly indoors or in the car, the sunshine was too tempting to resist, which was why he and Ryo were strolling through the park on their day off, getting buffeted and occasionally almost blown off their feet.

Dee glanced sidelong at his partner; Ryo looked like he was loving every minute, but then he always seemed to enjoy windy days, saying they made him feel alive.

They were deep in the park, well away from the main paths and other people, when Ryo nudged Dee’s shoulder with his own. “Don’t look now, but I think we’re being followed,” he said with a grin.

“What?” Dee took a surreptitious peek from the corner of his eye, then let his breath out in a snort of amusement. “A dog?” He looked back over his shoulder at the small dog plodding gainfully along in their wake. “Where’s the owner?” He stopped and looked around, but there was nobody else in sight. The dog kept coming until it reached Dee, then promptly sat on his foot, leaning against his leg and giving a heavy sigh.

Ducking his head, Ryo tried not to laugh at the expression of horror on Dee’s face; Dee wasn’t exactly a dog person, he much preferred cats, but it seemed this particular dog had latched on to him for some unknown reason.

“Uh, Ryo, there’s a dog on my foot.”

“I noticed,” Ryo chuckled. “I think it likes you.”

The wind gusted around them, flapping the dog’s long, drooping ears back and forth.

“What does it want?”

“How should I know? Maybe it’s lost and looking for shelter from the wind.”

“I’m not its personal windbreak,” Dee grumbled. “It’s getting hair on my pants.” He shifted his foot, trying to push the dog away.

“Don’t be mean, Dee! Look at the poor little thing, it’s hardly more than a puppy; the wind probably keeps blowing it over.”

Staring down at the dog, Dee sighed. Ryo was right, it was rather small, one of those sausage dogs with the long body and short legs, he forgot what the breed was called, something German sounding. It had its eyes scrunched shut against the wind and looked thoroughly miserable. Damn, why did he have to be such a sucker for anything defenceless and in distress?

“I suppose we should find out who it belongs to and make sure it gets home.” Bending over, he fumbled for the dog’s collar, where a brass name disc and a small plastic cylinder hung. “What’s your name?” Dee turned the disc over, his eyebrows went up, and he started to laugh.

“What’s so funny?” Ryo asked, crouching down beside the dog.

“It’s called Dick! Who in their right mind would give a dog a name like that? Imagine having to call for it to come!” His shoulders were shaking and he wiped away tears that had nothing to do with the wind.

“Oh dear.” Ryo’s cheeks, already made pink by the wind, turned bright red and he started to laugh too. Dick the dog just stared mournfully at them. Biting his lip in an effort to stop himself laughing, Ryo reached for the plastic cylinder, unscrewed it, and carefully pulled out the slip of paper with the owner’s contact details, gripping it tightly to keep it from being blown away.

“Give me the phone number and I’ll call the owner so they can come and fetch him,” Dee said, digging in his pocket for his phone, still sniggering over the unfortunate dog’s name.

Ryo shook his head. “We might as well just take him home; it’s not far and it’ll be quicker than dragging the owner out in this weather.”

“We don’t have a leash,” Dee objected. “What if he runs off? I’m not gonna stand around callin’ ‘Dick’ at the top of my voice.”

“So we carry him. He’s most likely tired anyway, he’s only got short little legs.”

Dee shoved his hands through his hair, which didn’t do any harm since it was a mess anyway. “Fine,” he said, as Ryo rolled the slip of paper back into the small tube and screwed it back in place on the dog’s collar. “Come on, you.” Scooping the dog off his foot, he picked it up, cradling it against his chest where it promptly shoved its head inside his jacket. “Don’t like the wind, huh? You’d better not drool on my shirt; it’s new.” He glanced at Ryo. “Lead the way. This was your idea; I don’t even like dogs.”

“He’s cute though.”

“I suppose he’s not bad.” Dee followed his lover back to the footpath and they made their way to the nearest of the park’s entrances, then crossed the street and walked a couple of blocks to one of the swanky apartment buildings that were prevalent in this area of Manhattan. Ryo flashed his shield to the doorman, who let them in without comment, and they took the elevator up to the fourteenth floor, then followed the hallway to apartment 1411. Ryo knocked on the door while Dee tried to unravel Dick from his jacket.

After a few minutes the door was opened by an elderly lady leaning on a walking stick. “Yes?” she asked, peering at Ryo through her glasses.

“Detectives Maclean and Laytner,” Ryo told her, flashing his shield once more. “Are you Mrs Lillian Holloway?”

“That’s me.” Then she spotted what Dee was holding. “Oh! You found Dick! Please, do come in. I reported him missing as soon as the dog walker returned and told me he’d run off, but I didn’t expect the police to find him so quickly. He’s just a baby; I think the wind must have frightened him.”

As Ryo pushed the door shut Dee, having managed to extract Dick’s head from his armpit, set the dog on the floor. Its tail started wagging, which made most of its body wag too, and it trotted over to its owner, who reached down to pat its head, getting a lot more wagging in response.

“Thank you both so much,” she said, straightening up again. “I was terribly worried about him. I told the dog walker not to let him off the leash, but she forgot.”

“You’re welcome. It was just good luck we happened to be in the park. He seemed to take a liking to my partner,” Ryo said with a smile.

“I think he just wanted to use me as a convenient windbreak,” Dee added.

“Dogs are very good judges of people,” Mrs Holloway said firmly. “I’m sure Dick instinctively knew he’d be safe with you.”

Dee just had to ask. “Why did you call him that?”

Mrs Holloway looked fondly at her dog. “I don’t really know. When I got him I just thought he looked like a Dick.”

Studying the dog, Dee nodded, somehow managing to keep a straight face. “Yeah, I guess I can see that, he does sort of resemble…”

Ryo dug his elbow in his partner’s ribs before Dee could say anything else. “We should be going.”

“So soon? Oh, I suppose you have other work to do, you must be very busy solving crimes and keeping the streets safe. I just want you both to know how much I appreciate you taking the time to bring my Dick safely home.”

“You’re welcome, we’re glad we could help.” With that, Ryo steered Dee back out the door, managing to close it behind him before his lover all but collapsed against the wall, laughing so hard he could barely breathe.

“Looks like a Dick,” he gasped. “That poor dog, did you see the look on its face? Sort of resigned and long-suffering, like it knows it can’t escape its fate.”

“I think all Dachshunds look like that,” Ryo told him.

“Can you blame them? It’s the shape.” He wiped his eyes. “Other dogs probably make fun of them.” Pushing himself away from the wall, Dee led the way back to the elevator, stepping inside and pushing Ryo against the wall as the door closed behind them. “Y’know, all this Dick talk is makin’ me horny. What say we just go back to my place? I guarantee we’ll have a lot more fun with ours than old Mrs Holloway will ever get from her Dick,” he said with a wink.

“Dee!” Ryo blushed scarlet again, but as Ryo melted into his kiss, Dee knew his partner’s answer would be ‘Yes.’


The End