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Original: Poetry: Chrysalis

  • Aug. 10th, 2017 at 2:04 PM
Title: Chrysalis
Fandom: Original
Challenge: Best
Rating: PG
Length: 8 lines, free verse
Summary: My chrysalis, untransformed

I always strived to have what I have not;
Other people seem so happy in their brilliant chaos.
If I work hard enough, I thought, when I finally arrive
I will be like them.

I tried harder and the load grew heavier;
Beating brilliant wings in the sun only makes me feel tired.
If I wanted to seem like them, I could, but why try to change
The best parts of me?

Comments

teaotter: a girl in a pink coat that reads "anti social social club" (Default)
[personal profile] teaotter wrote:
Aug. 10th, 2017 04:46 am (UTC)
Beautiful!
thewhitelily: (Default)
[personal profile] thewhitelily wrote:
Aug. 11th, 2017 04:19 am (UTC)
Thank you. :)
midorisakura: Cat eyes (Default)
[personal profile] midorisakura wrote:
Aug. 10th, 2017 05:30 am (UTC)
Beautifully written.

I really like the second line of your first stanza -- brilliant chaos just resonates with me -- and the last two lines of your second stanza, they just tie everything together so well.
thewhitelily: (Default)
[personal profile] thewhitelily wrote:
Aug. 11th, 2017 04:25 am (UTC)
Thank you, I'm delighting you enjoyed, and that those lines resonated with you. It was a very personal piece, and it's wonderful to have it appreciated.
fadedwings: illustration of a dark-haired little girl hugging a tree (write: fountain pen)
[personal profile] fadedwings wrote:
Aug. 10th, 2017 09:08 am (UTC)
Beautiful
thewhitelily: (Default)
[personal profile] thewhitelily wrote:
Aug. 11th, 2017 04:19 am (UTC)
Thank you!
smallhobbit: (butterfly)
[personal profile] smallhobbit wrote:
Aug. 10th, 2017 10:55 am (UTC)
I can see the striving to be 'the best' and the realisation that others best is not ours.
thewhitelily: (Default)
[personal profile] thewhitelily wrote:
Aug. 11th, 2017 04:23 am (UTC)
Thank you, I'm glad that that intention came through clearly. It's a strange thing to evaluate unconsciously held goals and think: hang on, that would never make me happy.

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