Title: Overwhelming
Fandom: Spooks/MI5
Rating: G
Length: 625
Summary: Even several years back in the UK, Lucas still struggles with crowds and loud noises from time to time.
Authors Note: Part of my Incremental verse but should standalone.


~*~

Lucas hated this. Hated that, even now, over four years since he had left that lonely cell in a Russian prison that it could still debilitate him. After the best part of eight years in solitary confinement, too many people or noises that were too loud could be overwhelming. If he didn’t overthink things too much and allowed himself to think rationally, he could acknowledge that he was much better than he had been when he had first arrived back in the UK.

Then, even the smallest thing had set him off. He hadn’t been able to get on the Tube, walk through central London or even go to his local for a quiet drink. He would end up hyperventilating, fighting the urge to just curl up in a ball and rock from side to side. Now, he could use the Tube with barely a second thought (rush hour always took a little more convincing), was a regular at the local pub around the corner from the house that he and Adam shared and had even made more than a few appearances at Wes’ school cricket and rugby matches. It was hardly Twickenham on the day of the Calcutta Cup but it was still progress and they were working on that one, especially as Adam had got hold of three tickets for one of the Six Nations matches.

That was why this was so frustrating.

He hadn’t had an episode for months so, of course, the optimum time for his brain to have one of its special moments was at his own wedding reception. Oh, it could have been worse in that it could have been in the middle of the ceremony, but still. A couple of guests, nicely lubricated by the free bar, had got a little rowdy, a bit too loud and, combined with the number of people present, it had triggered Lucas. The whole day had been so bloody perfect from the ceremony in the Undercroft of the Banqueting Hall on Whitehall with just family and close friends before having the reception upstairs in the Main Hall with a larger crowd.

Checking that both Adam and Wes were occupied as he didn’t want to bother his new husband and step-son – and oh, how he loved those words – Lucas slipped out of the room and away from the crowds. In the courtyard outside, breathing was a little easier and he felt the tension in his shoulders dissipate. Staring up at the few stars that he could see, he was startled when arms wrapped around his waist and a kiss was pressed to his jaw before relaxing back against Adam.

“It all got a little overwhelming, huh?”

Lucas smiled half-heartedly and wrapped his over Adam’s. “Just a little. I’ll be alright in a minute; I just needed a bit of peace and quiet.”

“I have an even better suggestion. How about we slope off home?”

“Should we be doing that? I mean, shouldn’t we stay until the rest of the guests have left?”

“It’s our wedding, we can do what we want. Wes will be here in a minute to say goodbye; he was going to steal some cake for us to take home and then we can leave.”

“Have I told you that I love you recently?”

“Considering that you married me just over three hours ago, I’m taking that for granted.”

Lucas smiled as he saw Wes approaching, his hands full with looked like generous slabs of the wedding cake that Lucas had spent a lot of time doing extensive tasting for. “I might have married you but the jury’s still out on who I love more; you or cake.”

“Traitor. You’ll pay for that when we get home.”

“I hope so.”