Title: Wade Wilson and the weaponized bowl of pudding
Fandom: MCU/Deadpool
Rating: R
Length: 264
Content notes: Implied kink.
Author notes: For fan-flashworks and for squidgiepdx for a prompt at comment-fic: grabbing the most ridiculous ridiculous item in the kitchen when they hear a burgler.
Summary: Steve/Wade established relationship. Wade hears a noise in the kitchen and thinks Steve's a burglar.



Steve stood in the kitchen as the pudding slowly slid down his face.

“Wade,” he said, gritting his teeth.

“Oops! Sorry, sweetie! Thought you were a burglar.”

“So you attacked me with pudding?”

“I opened the fridge and it was the first thing I saw.”

“Why didn’t you at least throw the bowl?”

Wade gasped and clutched the plastic Wolverine bowl to his chest. “I love this bowl!”

Steve wiped away a swath of pudding from his eyes and nose.

“Wait! Don’t clean up! Might as well have a little ‘pudding party,’ since you’re all messy anyway.” Wade grinned lasciviously.

Steve folded his arms, ignoring the squishy sound as his fingers wrapped around his pudding-covered sleeves. “Wade. Did you really think I was a burglar? Or did you want to lick pudding off of me?”

“…Both?”

“How could it be both?”

“Ummm… I thought you were a burglar but had a sudden desire to lick pudding off a random guy who broke into my place? ...What? Why are you looking at me like that? You know that’s something I would do.”

Steve laughed despite himself. “Fine.” He took his thumb and wiped up some pudding from his shoulder, then pressed his thumb into Wade’s mouth. “If that’s how you want to play it. Clean me up.” He gave Wade an expectant look, and a smirk that was just cocky enough to make Wade’s breath hitch.

Wade licked his tongue up and down Steve’s thumb. Then he pulled away and said, “The rest of you is messy too.”

Steve replied, “Then I guess you’ve got a lot of work to do.”

Wade grinned.