Title: The Flying Ferret
Fandom: Sherlock Holmes (ACD)
Rating: G
Length: 475
Summary: It is not often I enter our rooms in Baker Street to find a sloth half hanging out of the window.
A/N:  Crack!


It is not often I enter our rooms in Baker Street to find a sloth half hanging out of the window.  I accordingly stopped and looked enquiringly at the Ocelot, who was watching the proceedings with a quizzical air.

“We thought it would be wise to have a run through, before we joined you and Mr Holmes in your activity this evening,” the Ocelot said.  I noted he refrained from mentioning burglary, although this was undoubtedly what we were planning on doing.  “It was just as well, for we have found a minor problem with the original plan.”

I walked over to the window to see what had happened.

“If I reach down into the pipe with my front claws and brace my elbows on the sides I think I should just have enough leverage to pull him back out,” the Sloth explained.  He then raised his voice and added, “Although it would help if the party concerned co-operated slightly more.”

“He’s sulking,” the Ocelot said, “because someone,” – here Mouselet twitched her whiskers – “said it was all his own fault and he shouldn’t be so fat.”

“It’s true,” Mouselet muttered.

“Maybe, but in the circumstances it’s not very helpful,” the Ocelot replied.

By now I had understood what had happened.  The plan was for the Ferret to crawl along one of the narrow pipes which led to the study we wished to enter and retrieve the key, so those of us who would not fit into the pipe could go in by a more conventional entrance.  Only it appeared the Ferret was also too wide for the pipe.  It was perhaps fortunate there was a similar pipe outside our window and we had therefore discovered the flaw in the plan whilst we still had time to come up with an alternative.

After a good deal of effort and rude words from the Sloth, the Ferret was finally released.

“I’ve been thinking,” said Inky.  “It might be possible to use a sort of lever to catapult the Ferret onto the top of the study window.  It’s a sash window, so the impact should cause the top pane to slide down a little, sufficient for even that ferret to squeeze his way in.”

The Ferret bristled slightly at the implied slur, but since his fur was already rather ruffled following his rescue from the pipe it wasn’t really noticeable.

It seemed a reasonable suggestion and we set about constructing a suitable mechanism.  It needed to be portable, easy to set up and quick to dismantle.  Fortunately, with the Sloth’s ability in engineering and Inky’s eye for detail, we were able to build something we felt would fulfil the criteria.  All that remained was to test it out.

Which was why, when Holmes entered the rooms somewhat later, he was hit in the chest by a flying ferret.