Title: Mouselet - Special Correspondent
Fandom: Sherlock Holmes (ACD)
Rating: G
Length: 728
Summary: Mouselet is writing her column for The Marylebone Monthly Illustrated.
O/N stands for Ocelot’s Note.  The Ocelot is editor of The MMI.

I’m delighted to be back writing for you.  Of course, I wrote last month, as part of the report of our adventures in the West Country, but I have now been promoted to Special Correspondent, so here is the first of my Special Correspondences.

Mr Holmes had been pitchforking to Mrs Hudson, regarding the correct way of making a deduction and how it was important to gather the facts before coming to a conclusion.
[O/N: We are not sure what Mouselet means by ‘pitchforking’, possibly pontificating.  The Sloth, my sub-editor, did suggest she meant Mr Holmes was throwing ideas up in the air and seeing where they landed, but I am not certain that is correct.]

Mrs Hudson replied by saying it was the same with making a cake.  It was important to gather all the ingredients together beforehand and to ensure the right proportions were used, or the result would be disastrous.  She said Mr Holmes must be careful to give the correct weight to all the facts he discovered.

Mr Holmes did not seem very happy at this.  It may be he does not think making deductions is equal to making a cake.  For myself, I can see the value in both.

It was shortly after this Mr Holmes departed because he had an important case, and I did not see him again until late that afternoon.  He and Dr Watson returned together.  They were clearly in good spirits and were accompanied by Inspector Lestrade and my favourite, Inspector Hopkins.  I heard them come up the stairs and Mr Holmes call out “Tea for four please, Mrs Hudson.”

The four gentlemen assumed their usual seats in 221B and, once Mrs Hudson had brought up tea and cake, Mr Holmes began speaking.  “This is what I was telling you, Lestrade.  You really should not come up with a theory before you are in possession of all the facts.”

Dr Watson added, “You have to admit, you did rather put the cart before the horse.”

Anyone can tell that is clearly backwards, for the horse has to pull the cart, and not push it.  The other day the baker got his cart stuck across the road when he tried to turn round, and it took him a long time to move it again, for he had to unhitch the horse to do so and then he was unable to use the horse’s strength to move the cart.  Several people got very cross with the baker and a policeman had to be called.  (Not my lovely inspector, of course, just the sort of policeman who breaks up fights in the street.  I would hate my inspector to do that, for he might get hurt.)

Inspector Lestrade said, “My conclusion was perfectly logical.”

“But it only took into account some of the facts, and not all of them.  And then, having realised your mistake, it was a waste of time sending the constable to the railway station, when Parkes would clearly have already caught the train,” Mr Holmes said.

“A bit like shutting the stable door after the carthorse has bolted,” Inspector Hopkins said quietly.

I am not sure why this should be the sensible thing to do.  This is clearly another thing that is backwards.  However, my inspector is a very intelligent man (you can see that in his beautiful grey eyes), and Dr Watson laughed and nearly choked on the tea he was drinking, so I will not complain.

Mr Holmes, too, was coughing, although I did not think it was because he was laughing.  Then he called out, “Mrs Hudson, there is something wrong with the fruit cake.”

Mrs Hudson reappeared with a plate of jam tarts.  “I did wonder about it.  Esme, the new girl, made it, but she put the eggs in after the flour and dried fruit.  So you see, just as with your cases, you do not get the desired result if you take things in the wrong order.”

Mr Holmes said something like “Hmph”, but made no further comment.

Today my beloved inspector called round again.  It was teatime and Mrs Hudson had made a fruit cake.   My inspector smiled sweetly at the doctor (he has a very sweet smile), raised his strong eyebrows and said, “I see we have deduction cake again.”

Mr Holmes said “Hmph” again, but Dr Watson laughed.