Title: Seasick
Fandom: Dear Ladies
Rating: G
Length: 673 words
Summary: It is the night of the annual Stackton fancy dress ball.

It was the night of Stackton’s annual fancy dress ball and in the hallway of Utopia Limited, Hilda was calling up the stairs to her friend and fellow organiser.

“Aren’t you ready yet, Evadne? We have to be at the Co-op Hall by half past to make sure everything is ready, remember.”

“I’m coming, Hilda!”

Evadne descended the stairs carefully, holding up her long, black overcoat. She glared at Hilda as she arrived at the bottom.

“You could be a little more patient. God knows the number of times I’ve had to wait for you.”

Evadne gestured self-consciously at her face.

“I just needed a bit more time than I anticipated to apply my makeup.”

Hilda stared at Evadne’s pale complexion. “The theme is The Ocean in the Arts. Who are you supposed to be then? The Ancient Mariner?”

Evadne gave her a very hard look.

“I have told you, dear. I am the Dutchman. From The Flying Dutchman.”

“Oh, Wagner…” Hilda waved a hand. “Trust you.”

Evadne strode over to the hall table and picked up her handbag.

“Well, at least I won’t be embarrassing myself in public. I hardly think HMS Pinafore’s Josephine is suitable at your age.”

Hilda drew herself up. “I am an actress, Evadne. I can carry off any role, and any costume.”

She watched Evadne head for the front door.

“And anyway, this frock will be a darn sight easier to dance in than that coat of yours.”

Evadne turned back and frowned. “I won’t be dancing.”

“Of course you won’t. How silly of me.”

Hilda collected her own handbag and joined Evadne.

“You know…” She giggled a little. “You could have just wrapped yourself in your eiderdown and gone as a covering used up on deck…”

Evadne looked at Hilda questioningly.

“A wet blanket, dear!” laughed Hilda.

Evadne stared at Hilda blankly.

“Doesn’t matter,” said Hilda.

The two ladies headed out to the Rolls.




Hilda parked the Rolls in the Hall’s car park, and the two ladies made their way round to the entrance.

Hilda admired her own outfit as they went.

“You know, I can’t wait to see everyone else’s costumes. The theme was such a good idea of mine.”

Evadne glanced at Hilda. “I have to say I’m not convinced. Probably everyone will just come as sailors.” She shuddered a little. “Apart from the rugger club. Knowing them they’ll come dressed en masse as Moby Dick.”

Hilda looked up. “I really wish you wouldn’t keep putting those poor boys down. Just because they can be a little high spirited at times—”

Evadne rolled her eyes. “At times?”

“—it doesn’t mean they can’t behave. It doesn’t mean that they won’t wear something entirely suitable. And it certainly doesn’t mean that they won’t behave entirely appropriately.”

And Hilda marched forward to the entrance—just as a group of young men dressed as pirates jumped out from the surrounding bushes.

“Here comes a big wave!” yelled one.

Evadne could only watch as Hilda was drenched in buckets of water.




The guests were starting to arrive, so the two ladies stood at the front waiting to welcome everyone.

Evadne glanced at Hilda and suppressed a smile. “At least they apologised.”

Hilda was pointedly not looking at Evadne. “Yes, I suppose there’s that.”

“They were just being high spirited. Thought you were their coach arriving as Buttercup.”

“I did hear their explanation, thank you,” said Hilda.

“And it was kind of them to lend you a dry top.” Evadne was straightforwardly grinning now.

“Can we stop discussing it, please?” Hilda redirected her attention to Major Dirrenforth who had just arrived dressed as an Admiral. “Hello, Major! Splendid costume!”

“Thank you, Hilda.”

The Major turned and smiled at Evadne.

“Hello, Doctor. I see you’ve come as the Flying Dutchman.”

Evadne beamed. “That’s right! Well done!”

The Major turned back to Hilda.

He looked doubtfully at the soggy floor-length skirt and striped shirt.

“I’m sorry, Hilda. What have you come as..?”

Evadne smiled. “Wreck of the Hesperus, isn’t it, dear?”