Title: Numbering Off
Fandom: The Hobbit
Rating: G
Length: 303
Summary: There are times when even a wizard has difficulties keeping control of a load of dwarves, not to mention a hobbit.

Really, it should be easy, Gandalf thought. Make sure they were all there, tell them about the next part of the journey and set off. He tried counting them again – seven, eight, nine … and ten. Or had he already counted Fili?

He looked around to see who was missing and couldn’t find Bombur. Bother. Of all the dwarves Bombur was the one he couldn’t possibly miss if he was there, so he couldn’t be.

“Has anyone see Bombur?” he called.

“I’ll go and look for him,” Bofur said.

“No, stay there!” Gandalf spoke rather more sharply than was perhaps warranted, but frankly it was understandable. He was very tempted to tell them to line up in twos, holding their partner’s hands.

Gandalf paused for a moment, visualising the arguments as to who was going with who. Followed by the potential tears from the odd one out. Never mind, that one could be Gandalf’s partner. No, that wouldn’t work, he would need to have Fili and Kili on either side of him, they were far too much trouble to be left to themselves.

Gandalf shook his head to clear away the thoughts. He saw Bombur was back and started to count again.

“Four, five, six. Stand still, all of you! Kili, if you so much as move a muscle I shall tie your feet together and you will have to hop. Seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven. Right who’s missing?”

A pause, whilst the last two sidled in.

“Ah, Thorin and Bilbo. Glad that you can join us. Might we enquire what held you up?”

Gandalf watched as both hobbit and dwarf went an interesting shade of pink.

“Hmm, possibly better not tell us.” Gandalf took a deep breath. “Right, find a partner, hold hands and follow on. Fili and Kili you’re with me.”