Title: What The Ferret Did Next
Fandom: Sherlock Holmes (ACD)
Rating: G
Length: 539
Summary: You may be wondering why a ferret, apparently dressed in a snake skin suit, is currently climbing up a drainpipe.
I blame okapi1895 and scfrankles for this.

You may be wondering why a ferret, apparently dressed in a snake skin suit, is currently climbing up a drainpipe.  In fact, this is very much what the ferret himself is wondering.

The ferret is also thinking the snake suit is far too tight, despite the corset he has on underneath.  However, the fact the suit trousers have an elasticated waistband does mean he can breathe.  At least climbing the drainpipe isn’t a problem.

Following instructions the ferret exits the drainpipe and makes his way along the gaps in the brickwork.  He has had to memorise a plan of the building, since he cannot carry the map with him.  Again this is not a problem; he is quite capable of following a complicated maze if he wants to.  He rather resents the ocelot’s emphatic ‘do not get distracted’, which was accompanied by the doctor’s pointed stare.  (Dr Watson had recently lost a bet at a ferret race, but then betting on ferret races is a mug’s game, even more so than horse racing.)

Poking his head through a very small gap the ferret sees a canary in a cage.  He’s half way through the gap when he realises wearing a snake suit would not be conducive to creeping up on the bird, and wriggles, with some difficulty, back through the gap.  Reversing in a snake suit is not easy.

Finally, he reaches his destination.  He can hear two voices, one of which he recognises as that of Sherlock Holmes.  He creeps onto a narrow shelf, high up on the wall.  As instructed, he pulls in his paws, so he resembles a short fat snake.  He is grateful the lamplight is low.  Somehow he feels an exclamation of “Why is there a ferret in a snake suit on the shelf?” would not add to the drama of the situation.  He’s also not sure whether Mr Holmes is expecting him to be there.

The other man is speaking, “A fantastical tale, Mr Holmes, but one surely no-one will believe.  You will have to try much harder than that.”

The ferret makes his best slithery ‘look at me, I’m a snake’ move and the man looks up and screams.  The ferret is not impressed at the reaction to his acting ability.

The man falls to the ground, clasping his chest and saying, “It was all true.  I admit it.”

At which point Inspector Bradstreet bursts into the room, followed by Dr Watson.

Bradstreet calmly snaps the handcuffs on the man and between Bradstreet and Holmes they haul him to his feet and the three of them escort him out of the room and downstairs to where the police vehicle is waiting.

The ferret tries and fails to get his front paws back through his costume, the top half of which seems to have twisted round.  He is attempting to work out how to manoeuvre himself with just his back legs, when the doctor returns, opens his medical bag and says, “If I hold this up, can you jump into it?”

The ferret nods, pushes off with his back legs and lands with a bit of a thud in the bag.  He is really looking forward to removing both snake suit and corset.