Title: Just Died In My Arms
Fandom: : Looking for Group
Rating: Mature
Length: 518 Words
Content notes: Rated for gore, crack. No harm meant to the work of Cutting Crew. ;)
Summary: Richard composes a song


"What? Richard, what have you done?" Cale stared at the carnage around him in shock. Though he had been getting used to the warlock's ways, this gory sight seemed a little excessive, even by his standards.

"To commemorate this moment, I have composed a song," Richard declared.

Cale glanced at the warlock and then quickly glanced away. He was unsure what body part the warlock was using as a hat - and frankly he didn't really want to be enlightened - but he found the dismembered hands attached to the lute he carried slightly more disturbing. "A song?" he managed.

"Yes." Richard struck a note on the lute and then began to warble the slowest, most sickening love song Cale had ever heard.


Oh they, they just died in my arms tonight
I know that it's something you dread
They just died in my arms tonight

I keep looking for something I can't get
Broken heads, they're all around me
And I don't see an easier way to get what we need
Your diary says I only cause trouble
The fighting's begun, the bunny's in the bubble
Who would have thought I would find someone I wouldn't bleed?

Oh they, they just died in my arms tonight
I know that it's something you dread
They just died in my arms tonight

Oh they, they just died in my arms tonight
It must have been some kind of fwoosh
You should have walked away
You should have walked away

Is there any dark cause for feeling like this?
On the surface you're just a name on my list
I try to be discreet but then blow it again
I've made this for you, a spleen-shaped cake
I'm loving your moxie, all give and no take'
Cause I'm rememberin' history, one too many times

Oh they, they just died in my arms tonight
I know that it's something you dread
They just died in my arms tonight

Oh they, they just died in my arms tonight
It must have been some kind of fwoosh
You should have walked away
You should have walked away

It was a blood-filled night, killing's so easy
But not for my knight,
So now it's over, my powers have gone
I let him get under my skin, now everything's wrong

Oh they, they just died in my arms tonight
I know that it's something you dread
They just died in my arms tonight

Oh they, they just died in my arms tonight
It must have been some kind of fwoosh
You should have walked away
You should have walked away


Richard finished the song with a triumphant flourish and then took a bow.

Cale was about to clap when the words fully registered in his slightly boggled brain. "Wait, you did all this for me?"

"I have no idea what you're talking about, Cale," Richard replied. He was almost smooth enough to make Cale think he had been wrong, but there was something about those lines. He loved his moxie?

"No, you said you made me a spleen-shaped cake. I heard it!"

"Cale, it's just a song," Richard started to say, but Cale overruled him.

"You did this for me? As a birthday present?"

He expected Richard to continue to deny it; perhaps to act as though he had no idea that it was the elf's birthday. It wasn't that Cale actually wanted carnage to be carried out in his name, but coming from Richard it was a gesture that could actually be considered kind of... sweet.

What bowled Cale over more than the carnage and the song combined was when Richard simply smiled and replied. "Happy birthday, Cale." Then, giving Cale a quick kiss on the cheek, he skipped away into the blood-soaked village.

Looking down at the, he would assume it was spleen-shaped, lump in front of him, Cale sighed happily and blew out the flames.