Title: On the Outside
Fandom: Veronica Mars
Rating: PG
Length: 378
Content notes: Pre-Season 1
Author notes: My very first post to this community
Summary: Veronica reflects after Lilly's death.

Veronica had never really been on the outside. She wasn't a 09'er, but she was Lilly Kane's best friend. And that was good enough to make her an honorary one.

Still, now she knew what it felt like to be on the outside looking in. After Lilly's gruesome murder, her friends told her to choose between them and her father.

And Veronica knew how to be loyal. Her dad was doing what he thought was best so there's no way she would turn her back on him while all of Neptune was doing just that thing.

And now she was watching her friends, and she knew she was persona non grata. Duncan had already been ignoring her before Lilly's death, and he wouldn't even tell her why. And now she had to watch Logan push her away, and he was doing his best to turn everyone against her.

It hurt. After Lilly, Veronica had always felt she was closest to Logan. Even closer than she was to Duncan in some ways. When things got hard with her mom, she had gone to Logan because she knew he would understand.

It never felt like he judged her, and even though they became friends because of Lilly, she always felt that he liked her for herself. She never thought his friendship was simply there to appease Lilly. She never thought she would lose him because he had always been loyal to the ones he cared about.

And now everything she told him in confidence about her mom, he used it as ammunition against her because he knew it would hurt her more than anything else possibly could.

She had lost so much already, and it hurt to lose another person that she loved.

She knew Logan was hurting, but it wasn't fair that he lashed out at her. They both lost Lilly. Right now, they should have been supporting each other, not turning on one another.

Sometimes, she would see Logan look at her with a kind of weird longing, and it made her believe he missed her as much as she missed him. And then it was gone, and he was back to being an obligatory psychotic jackass.

And she was left wondering if she had really seen it.