Title: Deckchairs
Fandom: Original Work
Rating: G
Length: 659
Author notes: This will eventually also be for the January Prompt at FlashFictionLives on DeviantArt: beginning, chair, fire.
Summary: Fun and games on the beach.

“...and so we are here talking to Hubert Barraclough in order to find out more about this fascinating pastime.” Lavinia Clutterbuck pointed the microphone at Hubert. “It is a relatively unknown version of the game, isn’t it?”

Hubert smiled a little ruefully. “Sadly it is—even though Beach Poker is in fact the original form of poker. Admittedly nowadays it is generally played in private on artificial indoor beaches like this one but still…”

Lavinia nodded. “Can you take us through some of the aspects of Beach Poker?”

“Of course!” Hubert indicated the deckchairs in front of him. “You may have already noticed these. I don’t suppose your viewers, when they're sitting on the beach or in the garden in their own deckchairs, ever think about where the term comes from.”

Lavinia wrinkled her brow. “It’s because they’re used on the decks of ships, isn’t it?”

Hubert laughed kindly. “A common misconception about the etymology! No, they are ‘deckchairs’ simply because you play the game with a deck of them.”

“Good heavens…”

“Yes, indeed.” Hubert touched the deckchair nearest to him. “The dealer shuffles all the folded deckchairs and sets up five each for the various players—each player’s set of deckchairs hidden behind a windbreak.”

Lavinia looked perplexed. “Shuffling the deckchairs? That must take quite some time.”

“Very true,” said Hubert. “The players generally go and wait elsewhere. We call this part of the game ‘going for an ice cream’.”

“And that’s not the only beach reference, is it?” Lavinia gestured at Hubert. “Can I just ask about your outfit?”

Hubert adjusted his bikini. “Well, I must admit I’m a traditionalist in these matters. But it’s becoming more acceptable these days to wear something a little more casual—a tankini, shorts, rolling up your trouser legs. That sort of thing.”

“I see.” Lavinia looked over Hubert’s shoulder. “I believe now some of your fellow players are going to assist you in taking us through a hand.”

Hubert turned and beckoned, and three other people came into view. “This is Darren, Oswald and Agatha.” He smiled at them. “Now if you could take up your positions…”

Everyone retreated behind their own windbreak.

“Right—we’ve all put our initial stakes into the central bucket already,” said Hubert. “And now Darren will start the betting.”

“One barnacle!” called Darren.

“One barnacle, two whelks!” called Oswald.

“One barnacle, two whelks and a sea slug!” called Agatha.

“Gracious—a little too rich for my blood,” said Hubert. “And so I fold.” He looked over at his colleagues. “Everyone reveal their hands!”

The windbreaks were taken down.

“And Agatha takes the bucket! Pink stripes, blue stripes, red stripes, black and white stripes, yellow and green check—well, you can see what an impressive hand that is.”

He called over to Agatha.

“You’re on fire today, dear!”

Agatha beamed.

Lavinia looked up from studying the winning hand of deckchairs.“I think you have one last aspect of the game to show us..?”

“Ah, yes,” said Hubert.”The origin of the phrase ‘I fold’.”

Lavinia raised her eyebrows. “You mean…”

Hubert nodded. “Obviously the deckchairs have to be returned to their original state so they can be reshuffled.”

He lifted the first chair so that the base support came out and he began trying to lay it flat.

“No, that isn’t quite…” He had another go. “No, it’s still…”

“Perhaps if you start again from the beginning…” suggested Lavinia.

“I know what I’m doing!” snapped Hubert. He looked apologetic. “Sorry. Sorry. I think it might be the camera making me nervous. Heaven knows I should know how to do this by now!”

His friends came over.

“You need to put that bit down first—”

“Try moving that up—”

“What if you pull on that—?”

They all became engrossed in the problem.

Lavinia smiled weakly and turned to the camera.

“And so it’s goodbye then to the fascinating world of Beach Poker, and back to the studio!”